The Break-Up Diet

From Betrayal to Recovery with Bobby Misner

• Yasmin Misner and Ilma Shahrene • Season 1 • Episode 3

Share episode

Can following an ex's dog's Instagram or having a "work husband" spell trouble in a relationship? Join Bobby Misner and his sister Yasmin on this engaging episode of "The Breakup Diet" as we navigate the labyrinth of relationship red flags. We kickoff with a fun game scrutinizing scenarios like jealousy over attractive friends and the peculiar dynamics of sharing locations through "Find My Friends." Bobby brings his unique perspective to the table, advocating for trust, humor, and genuine connections over the usual dating games. 

Ever broken up over something as small as an Asahi bowl? We dive into the emotional complexity of serious breakups, contrasting them with minor dating hiccups. From toxic relationships riddled with infidelity to the challenges of long-distance love, we emphasize the power of loyalty and the struggle of setting boundaries. Personal stories of betrayal and mistrust underline the importance of maintaining personal standards, even when it feels like the ground beneath is shaky. 

Do men and women really handle breakups differently? We unpack the gender-specific emotional responses and coping mechanisms that surface after heartbreak. Women might confront their sadness head-on, while men often delay processing their feelings. Through personal anecdotes and reflective conversations, we explore the role of self-care, the support of friends, and the hurdles of carrying past trust issues into new relationships. Transparency and honesty stand out as essential pillars for any relationship to thrive, even after the storm of a painful breakup.

Send us a text

Instagram:
@the_breakup_diet

TikTok:
@thebreakupdiet

Email: thebreakupdietpodcast@gmail.com

yas:

You ready.

Bobby:

Ready to go?

yas:

Okay, well, welcome Bobby.

Bobby:

To the breakup diet.

yas:

To the breakup diet. You're stealing my intro, but let me pass it over to you. Introduce yourself.

Bobby:

I am Bobby. Bobby Misner. The I'm obviously. This is my sister Yasmin. We're on her channel now, so you know rules are up to you. This is your game, your field, your your ball. So me, obviously. Youtuber, uh. Film director, photographer, anything to do with the camera, very good at that, love doing that. Podcaster podcaster more of a podcast appearanceer yeah and soon to be rapper okay, when?

yas:

When's it coming out?

Bobby:

Very soon, very soon, very soon.

yas:

You're not going to give a date.

Bobby:

No, I don't have a date yet. But you know, within a couple of weeks we'll be rolling, we'll be moving.

yas:

One song or a few.

Bobby:

Just one song. You know, just hit them with one song, one banger.

yas:

Banger and then you're out. Yeah, bang around and go Buckle up bitches. This is going to get bumpy. This is the breakup diet First, I think we should start with like a little fun game. Okay, so is it a red flag or a green flag if? Is it a red flag or a green flag if your partner follows their ex's dog's Instagram?

Bobby:

Dog's Instagram.

yas:

Dog's Instagram.

Bobby:

Red flag. I mean a dog doesn dog's Instagram, dog's Instagram, dog's Instagram Red flag. I mean a dog doesn't have Instagram, so it's just them. Yeah, I think so too. There's definitely a red flag, because that's a little secret way to sort of like keep in touch, but at the same time, you know, maybe they just want to keep up. No, because they're not trying to keep up to date with what the fucking dog.

yas:

Yeah, exactly doesn't make any sense yeah, okay, is it a red flag or a green flag if they have like a work husband?

Bobby:

what does that mean?

yas:

like so, for example, with your girlfriend. She was going into work and she was like had this guy of the opposite sex and obviously, and she was like always calling him her work husband and everything and like, oh, he's so funny, but he's like my work husband. Oh, like he gets me coffees all the time because he's like my work husband it sounds like bro is being extremely friend-zoned and cucked.

Bobby:

If he's trying to be, uh, the husband, work husband, getting cucked, for sure they're using you to make coffees and probably what do your work for them?

yas:

yeah, probably probably and probably what do your work for them? Yeah, probably probably so work, husband. Red flag, for sure. Is it a red flag or a green flag if your partner gets jealous every single time you talk about a girl that she knows that you find attractive?

Bobby:

I don't really talk about girl.

yas:

Yeah, I don't yeah, it's better not to yeah girls don't exist.

Bobby:

I don't, yeah, I just don't care only girl that exists is your girlfriend.

yas:

Exactly, that's the's the answer.

Bobby:

I've never really cared. To be honest, I've like, even when I was single, I didn't care about girls.

yas:

Yeah, that's true.

Bobby:

I was just like, whatever. Like. If you're into me, you're into me, if you're not, you're not. Like I'm not like. You know what I mean? Like I don't like to like pursue them and play all those games that they always talk about on Instagram or whatever Like. He has to do this, if girls. If he's not, if he's not doing this, then like.

yas:

He's not that into you, he's not that into you.

Bobby:

I've never been about that, I don't know. I've just been like me and it's like if I'm, if I'm in love with you, I'm going to like do that, I'm going to show that the way that I show it, I do like fucking nicknames and I fucking always and like I'm always being funny, I think if I'm like being really funny and like I laugh a lot with a girl and that's like what my form of like being in love.

yas:

And is it a red flag or a green flag if you're with a partner and they want to have you on Find my Friends, so they want to know your location all the time and they get really annoyed. If you like, don't want to do that.

Bobby:

It depends, like some people don't do that, you know, and they're not like that at all, and then that's just them. But like I think some people to get into a relationship they're first coming out of a certain world or certain headspace. So have you ever done it? So yeah, but it's not. But now that, okay, I'm like now I'm like three years into relationship we still have it, but we don't check it, don't check, don't care did you check it at the beginning?

Bobby:

yeah, well, at the beginning, yeah, we would be like, but also we have it just for like, also for like safety, yeah but I feel like everybody says that, but really I do because, if I let because before before I would let Alex go out, like for example in LA a couple of times I let her go out on her own. Yeah, then it was good to have it on because I know where she's at, but other than that I wasn't looking ever. It would be her looking where I am.

yas:

Yeah, yeah, I get you.

Bobby:

But I think you kind of low-key I mean, at the end of the day, if you're like fully committed to each other, like you kind of have to have each other's phone passwords and you kind of like you could do the find my friends thing but I think that's more of like, I'd say, like the early, earlier stages of a relationship yeah like the year one to two, and then I think like after that you don't really need to be doing that anymore.

yas:

So I would find it so weird.

Bobby:

Yeah.

yas:

I find it so like what you want to have. My location I would be like even for a safety thing, because I just don't believe it's a safety thing. Because, really what are they going to do? And if you go missing, surely you can press the like iPhone five times on the side or something, and it sends off the alert anyway. I guess sends off the alert anyway. I guess is it a red flag, or?

Bobby:

a green flag. If your partner just refuses to post you on social media, it's either you, either you don't have instagram and you're like oh, I actually don't even fucking have instagram, so I'm not going to post you because I don't literally don't have it, because I don't fuck with that at all. But if you have it and you are a pipe stick, even if you're like like I'm so low-key, like I'm just like taking jets and choppers but I don't even talk about it, like those type of motherfuckers, they're still posting some stuff. So if they don't post you at all, I would say like it's a bit like well, what's up? Like why are you?

yas:

Like stuff for work too For work. As in, it's a work. I use my account as a business account. Business, what business?

Bobby:

Business.

yas:

Cheating, business Cheating business.

Bobby:

I think we all know that Instagram is also A dating app Not just media, but also dating.

yas:

Yeah.

Bobby:

You've got a profile.

yas:

That's what it is for the majority of people.

Bobby:

You're putting up your best photos dating essentially yeah, and you can slide in dm cheeky it's yeah a little tap tap little what's up like hey, hey, fire, fire, react okay, now I'm gonna ask you more stuff about breakups.

yas:

So have you ever been through a breakup?

Bobby:

Yeah, I've been through a breakup.

yas:

When was it? Was it a while ago?

Bobby:

Quite some time ago now. I'm 29. Now this must've been when I was like 21, 2.

yas:

Would you say you've only gone through one serious breakup, or a few.

Bobby:

I would say that was the only serious breakup. I think I've been through like breakups, as it were, but they didn't mean anything and it didn't hurt me at all and I was just like whatever, we're just dating.

yas:

Yeah, like situationships kind of thing, situationships. Did you cry on the one?

Bobby:

Yes, Well, that was my first. It was my first girlfriend, really like first proper girlfriend obviously had, like you know, girlfriends and shit, but it's like that was like the one that we were like together and like you know, you're all in love and all that stuff, and the thing is like it ended pretty badly. We're like arguing a bit and then, like I was like you know, misbehaving, like fucking trying to like show like oh look, other girls like me too, uh ah, and then she, she did it back, but then she went a bit further and like fully slept with some other guy and then I was just, but that really it crushed my ego yeah, but also broke my heart a lot so did you?

yas:

when you say, you kind of went like arguing and stuff. Did you ever go on a break?

Bobby:

no, we didn't really go on a break. It was a very dramatic relationship. We would argue, and then we would get back, be together, and then, you know, she was in Monaco and I was in London, so I'd be in London, then I'd fly to Monaco and then she'd fly to London.

yas:

Do you think it was the long distance? That kind of was the nail in the coffin?

Bobby:

Yeah the long distance. But then also, like you know, it was more of like, I think, we were both just infatuated with each other and then it became like we both had big egos and it became like a bit of an ego war of who's going to get out of this? She did break my heart, obviously, but it also broke hers at the same time and then obviously made her feel really bad like was it a healthy ish relationship and then it went toxic, or was it always a bit toxic?

Bobby:

it was like very like innocent to start off with, but then it was, yeah, it was no, it was always toxic if I think about it, because it started off, it started off, it was yeah, it was no, it was always toxic. If I think about it, because it started off, it started off, it was toxic the whole thing. But I think why didn't?

yas:

that was Because you guys just didn't trust each other. Really.

Bobby:

Well, I was kind of dating someone at the time when I met her.

yas:

You didn't tell me that. I never told you that.

Bobby:

Yeah, so well I was, and well she was too, but she was fully though. Oh yeah, I was like seeing I was dating some girl, but it was nothing really, but she was fully with some other guy. But I didn't care.

yas:

Any relationship that starts off like that is not going somewhere good so do you think, if you start by, for example, cheating or something like this, do you think you're destined to end by that same route?

Bobby:

I, yeah, I would say there's a strong Correlation, there's a strong possibility that it's not going to work out.

yas:

Then Do you think you ever fully trusted her if that was? Because, for me, if mine started that way, I don't think I would ever be able to fully fully trust somebody. I don't know.

Bobby:

I didn't think like that at the time. I didn't think I was experienced enough to really understand any of that.

Bobby:

I'd never really had a girlfriend. So I was like really excited to to be doing that and like to be doing relationship things and like all that stuff. So then I thought that it was all going well. But yeah, just like, and I thought I was getting better and I was like I'm not gonna like fuck around anymore, I'm not gonna like go party and like busy walking shit, but at the end of the day, like she was pretty mean yeah, she was mean, she did some mean stuff.

yas:

and is there anything that you've like learned now that if you have a relationship, somebody does something you're like I'm out straight away?

Bobby:

I said, loyalty is a big thing for me. Like I you know, if you're with me, then that's it. Like you're not fucking like yapping around to other dudes giving them your Instagram, fucking like you know, talking to other fucking guys being all floaty. No, not happening.

yas:

What about if they like other guys' Instagrams?

Bobby:

Can't be liking other guys instagram posts. What if they're friends? Because guys are fucking not? Guys are not your friend. Let me just put it that way any sort of alpha guy is not your friend. If there's some little fucking beta, fucking little bitch dude, fine, don't care. But if it's another guy who's also a bit of an alpha and you're liking his pictures. What's up?

yas:

so you believe that women and men can't be friends?

Bobby:

I believe they can, but only if they're ugly. Yeah, I mean, yeah, here's the thing, and there's like I don't know, like random shit that I don't like. For example, I broke up with a girl that I was seeing because she was like we were like fucking woke up so early in the morning, I was gonna go to work and shit, and then I know what you're going with and she was.

Bobby:

It was like fucking so cold, it was middle of winter and I'm like I eat what I eat and like I do what I do. I don't like to be told what to do. Number one Hate that. So then she was like let's just go to this place and we're going to have an Asahi bowl. Wouldn't you have an Asahi bowl? It comes out what the fuck is this? And then I just like got in a taxi and then they texted her and just broke up with her.

Bobby:

Basically that was rude that was rude she was really pretty too yeah, it was just also not like there was no connection was this your rebound relationship? That was. I think it was it was one one off for sure is that your like go-to.

yas:

When you break up with somebody, you get straight in another relationship, or what do you do?

Bobby:

no, I just start fucking. Go full rock star playboy. No, just partying, getting with whatever girls. Obviously you've got to win the breakup. If it was a bad breakup for me, when I found the breakup I did. I was like super heartbroken, hurt me, and then for one month I was just super quiet and like didn't talk to nobody, didn't go out of the house and I was like for a whole month I was like gym every day and just like trying to like come out of this, like this, like rut that I was in, and then by the end of it I had come out of the rut and I was just did you look ripped?

yas:

I looked a bit.

Bobby:

Yeah, I had a little bit more. You know a little bit of a little bit of going on and a little bit of a glow up but you got to bounce back. You can't fucking let them. You can't just like be in this rut and let yourself stay there and wallow in your sorrows, because then you don't know what's going on with them, because they could well, very well, be fucking winning the breakup okay.

yas:

So what would? How would you be winning it? Dating someone else who's fucking super hot or like super fucking cool or something so your, your advice would be, as soon as you break up, fine, get a bit hot yourself, so go to the gym and then bang, hit him with a way hotter boyfriend or girlfriend go straight for the appearance, because the only thing that they're doing is the only thing, because it doesn't matter what they're like, then doesn't matter if you like their personality, this, that, yeah, no, that doesn't matter.

Bobby:

What matters is what's their status, or are they fucking super hot?

yas:

you know they look good on the ground do they look good on the? Ground, because that's where they're stalking.

Bobby:

Exes are stalking each other. That's happened.

yas:

Have you ever stalked an ex?

Bobby:

Of course.

yas:

Have you ever got caught stalking an ex?

Bobby:

No, I've never been caught.

yas:

I was wondering if you'd been stalking.

Bobby:

Have a fake account, say, and then, they look at your fake account and see all the photos but I've only, I only have one x, so it's like serious yeah yeah, serious one that I would like even care about, care about to see. But at the end of the day it's just out of curiosity, like at the start from a couple months or like probably like the first year after, but then after that you stop caring yeah, yeah, I want to know because I want to be like are you ugly now?

yas:

are you fat? Are? You is your hairline even further back, uh, you know what I mean?

Bobby:

have you lost your hair? I honestly just want to see that they're just doing fine, that they're doing good oh, that's a really nice answer you know that's a nicer answer. I think that that is how I feel, though I just want to.

yas:

I feel like that's how you feel after a few years. After a few years, you just start thinking like I hope they're actually like doing okay, I hope they're doing really well.

Bobby:

You start to realize like well, like that, that time that you spent together was like actually very valuable, and like was you learned a lot, learned a lot, and like was super, super important to to me in my life.

yas:

Do you think that women and men like handle breakups in the same way? Um, no, how do you think women handle it?

Bobby:

And I'll tell you and then, how do I think women handle a breakup? Mm-hmm.

Bobby:

I don't know, you don't know, I don't know what do they do? I feel like they get pretty sad. I know like for guys I mean mean like, but that's the saying it can go one or two like, it depends what you are as a guy. If you're an alpha, fucking dude, then you're gonna fucking bounce back and you're gonna be like let's fucking get it. If you're just like a beta guy, then they probably just like fucking go into like a little cave. I don't know.

yas:

I've seen guys just being defeated how, how long do you think you should let yourself be in that like depression session?

Bobby:

You've got to fucking eat it, though You've got to do it, you've got to marinate in your feelings for at least like three days. You've got to really absorb that.

yas:

Cry it out massively.

Bobby:

Cry. Watch some romantic movies.

yas:

Is that what you're doing? I think that makes it worse. I like to like, really just like, feel it if I watch happy like romantic movies, I would literally look at it and be like that's what I used to have, even if you didn't, you think you do. Isn't that weird, like when you have a breakup you remember all the good stuff and you kind of conveniently forget all the bad?

yas:

yeah, yeah, you just see them as like what you've lost, even though it might not have been that good. Do you think boys think about breakups way later? So, like at the start, they just try to numb the pain, go out all this, and then a few months later they're like, oh my God, like I actually really miss them, so I get broken up with tomorrow. I would be so upset immediately. Everything like this for maybe two weeks weeks, whereas I feel like boys don't feel anything for those two weeks. Low-key, they just kind of push their emotions down and then it hits them a bit later.

Bobby:

I don't know if it is like this for all guys, but like I don't know for like at least my me and my friends. Like if we're gonna be in a relationship with a girl, we're like super head over heels about them. So if it breaks up, it just lingers for a long time, Probably for like a couple of years. You're just like. You're kind of like upset about it and like it's like you're trying to prove something after.

yas:

But maybe then a breakup is crucial for self-development, like obviously for self-development.

Bobby:

but that pushes you up, maybe it kind of does, gets you into gear.

yas:

Have you ever been cheated on? Yeah, how'd you find out?

Bobby:

My friend into gear. Have you ever been cheated on? Yeah, how'd you find out my friend was working?

yas:

on the boat of where it happened. I had surely that person recognized him I don't know, maybe I had the.

Bobby:

Well, the thing is, I had the suspicion. I had seen the suspicion because I saw a story you weren't in a good place or what.

yas:

No, I was like panicking, no, no no, you need to, you need to go back. So you were, you were still in the relationship, very much so.

Bobby:

So we were still in the relationship, just arguing, a lot Just arguing and shit.

yas:

but then like Arguing about stupid things or like.

Bobby:

It had become a bit like a Gestapo situation where it couldn't even make a single fucking wrong turn and I thought I was doing everything perfect. But then it was like, obviously like not enough. And then I guess like we were just like not enough. And then I guess like we were just like you know, she wasn't into me anymore or whatever.

yas:

Were you in a fight or anything?

Bobby:

Yeah, we were in a fight, but she was like ignoring me. But then she was like posted like a story like on this yacht, and I was like panicking, I was fucking blowing up her phone, I'm like freaking out. Then I'm in London freaking out, worry about, but then the next day, wait, she was. So she went on a boat trip, like it was more than one day, okay, just for a day on the boat. Okay, it was in the port, was it a big boat?

yas:

big boat, oh, big fucking boat really really big, yucked like a fucking. How did you?

Bobby:

have suspicions of this guy. I did think I had suspicions because of like texts that I had seen and we were arguing about like oh, you messaged this guy or whatever and she'd be like, oh, he messaged me. I can't have a girlfriend. That's not loyal. You can't like, you can't message other guys at all yeah, yeah, yeah with me.

Bobby:

That's how I feel, and so like I'm also a really jealous person like I'm very jealous if I'm in a relationship like that's the thing you say that, but then also you don't care if your girlfriend will post like a provocative photo or anything.

Bobby:

So I want to understand the logic behind that, because if you're a jealous person, that comes down to the loyalty thing and it's like okay, like, but if you really fucking know that your chick is just mega loyal and doesn't message any guy, will respond to nothing, then it doesn't matter. But if it's a girl that's doing that, and then she's also like replying to fucking dms of guys and stuff like this, then it's like, okay, well, why are you fucking doing that?

yas:

then so would you break up with somebody if they wouldn't just show you their phone straight up?

Bobby:

if you've been together for like more than six months and then they still like are like super secretive about their phone I've never had that, but I wouldn't.

yas:

I don't care, because I feel like they're gonna cheat anyway. It's gonna come out some.

Bobby:

It's gonna come out somewhere yeah, I think, like you go more, more, so you're just going to focus on like making, like you know, making the relationship good and making like make it, making it happy, and not like trying to like focus on like control and arguing and and this and that, because when you start to do that, then that causes the the feeling of okay, well, then, maybe, well, maybe that's what I want to do. That's what happens to guys. It's like the more that you make it a taboo, the more appealing it becomes.

yas:

So what should a girl do if they don't want their boyfriend to be going out and stuff as much?

Bobby:

I think, like for me, like a boys night. A boys night for me, even when I was single, did not involve girls yeah, that's true, like well, I don't get it I think it's with the girls is like for me, like I don't really get on with them that well like some weird creatures, I don't know.

Bobby:

I end up like arguing with them or being like I don't know, like some girls like to act like princesses and this and that, and I'll just be like shut up do you think that if you have cheated on somebody you can come back from it? Yes, I think you can.

yas:

Do you think sometimes boys cheat and then they'll get back with somebody and it actually is loyal because they realize what they lost?

Bobby:

Yeah, I think if a guy cheats, it is possible to like get back to it, because a guy is very like meaningless if they did do that or like stealing or like oh fuck, I'm trapped or something Right. But I think if a girl cheats it's more vicious because I feel like a guy can do it without being like whatever, like fuck you right. But I feel like if a girl does it it's more emotional, it's more like why?

yas:

what if they just met somebody on a night out and slept with them, and then that was it?

Bobby:

because I just feel like for a girl it's different. I just feel that's just how I feel it's.

yas:

I am, I'm a very traditional man so if a girl cheated on you, you'd never get back with them? No even if you were so in love, no, even if they did everything that you wanted no, zero percent just in general. If you're going through a breakup, do you believe in a closure conversation, like, do you think you have to meet up that one last time to lay it all on the table, so then you can move on?

Bobby:

That closure thing ends up with sex and it ends up with like another, like random, like being together for like this random period of time, and you're like what the fuck are we doing? And then you break up again.

yas:

So no closure if you're actually done. If you're not done and you kind of want to get back in closure.

Bobby:

Yeah.

yas:

And is there anything that you think women believe that isn't correct at all, about men going through breakups or men in relationships like that? You've seen on tiktok, that you've seen on instagram, anything that you're like?

Bobby:

that's just not how guys are the only fucking shit I see about relationships is when I hear my girlfriend alex's phone on tiktok, because you girls the guys are not on tiktok talking to each other like hey, bro, like, like just just a piece of advice, bro, like you know, when you're with your chick, no that's, I swear to god, like I know, I didn't see any of that no, for girls it's definitely different.

yas:

It's like how to keep a guy yeah or princess treatment 10 reasons he's not that into you yeah, yeah, what it?

Bobby:

really means, if he, I don't know what I think, you know what I've read for two hours is that it's like all these girls, like culminating all their experiences together and then like they. But the problem is that everyone's having a different experience and I think that girls sort of generalize it when in reality, like, every single person is so different and all of the relationship experiences are so different you know, so it's like it's so hard to be like, oh, if he doesn't do this, then he didn't that.

Bobby:

Because some guys, like I said, like they're not the way they show love isn't like that, or it's a different way that they show their love. Maybe it's cooking for you or it's like giving you their attention, different love languages, as you would say. Yeah, okay.

yas:

So I always have a theory that I just thought about. So I feel like if a girl breaks up with a guy maybe this is just me, but from what I know, from talking to my friends and stuff too, I feel like if a girl is to break up with a guy, they have thought about that breakup for so long and how many times that would play out, all all the reasons why, for months by the time they've actually done it. It's not just an impulsive thought, do you think? Guys are sometimes quite impulsive with breakups?

Bobby:

I think that, yeah, for me at least it has been It'll usually be like something that just sends me off the edge. One thing sends me off the edge and I'm like no.

yas:

Can you think of what one of those things would be?

Bobby:

or it's just you're arguing a lot and then yeah, if you're arguing a lot and then, like I don't know, just I don't know, like, well, you got cheated on, so maybe that was the one. Yeah, wait, you never even finished why he?

yas:

you found out because the guy worked on the boat and what called you up and was like I think I've seen your girlfriend.

Bobby:

Oh, he's like I did no, he, yeah, I was trying to figure it out and then, like he just confirmed, he was just like it called you or you swiped him in person. He just told me. He just told me. And then, and then I, and then I called him and he and I was like, well, he was like, well, they were having sex in the room, bro. So I was like, what do you mean? He was like, well, I heard them.

yas:

So that happened and I was like well, fuck Okay. Yeah, what the hell do you say to that?

Bobby:

You're like cool Bone crushing, I think.

yas:

It was just like fuck.

Bobby:

So with your breakup diet, did you just go into a depression session for like? A week or how long I went into a depression session for like a month, a month.

yas:

Depression session for like a month, a month and a half even. And what did that look like?

Bobby:

you just what did you? Did you go to the gym to anyone? Ignored everybody's messages, ignored everything from everyone? It was just sad.

yas:

I just felt very sad yeah, why do you think you felt so sad? Because you do you think it was the idea you were in love with the idea of you.

Bobby:

Well, no, because I mean it was like for me.

Bobby:

When I'm with a girl I'm like so, super like in it and I'm like constantly with them, like you've seen with Alex, yeah you're always together, together, I'm just like together, I'm like in love, I'm like super in love and I think they're so fucking fantastic and I just you know what I mean. So for me, I think I get super like attached. I ended up getting out of it because, like one of my homies was like we were going out that night. It was like a friday, it might have been like 6 pm and in london you start fucking drinking at work, finished like let's go drink, and then so it was like 6 pm. He's like bro, where are you? We're at the fucking pub right now, mate, like all this shit. And I was like, oh, I gotta go to the gym first. What the fuck are you talking about going to the gym? Stop going to the fucking gym.

Bobby:

You're pissing me off, oh I was like I was like fine, all right, you're right. And then like came out that night got super fucked up because after going to the gym for a whole month like that and then you got in party, you feel fucking great yeah, yeah so just got super turned up text her I miss you probably, probably the whole month of being like I, you, I'm not contacting you.

yas:

And then you get drunk and text them Probably yeah. Call them 20 times. Do you have any advice for somebody going through a breakup right now?

Bobby:

Man don't listen to anybody else. I think you've just got to listen to yourself if you're in the breakup, and then just try and fucking build your confidence back up.

Bobby:

But I think it's better to stay away from. I think, when you go through makeup, like I think what I did was good to like not be around your friends and not be around other people, because other people are going to try to be like, oh it's fine, it's all right, dude, like who cares, oh, but they're never going to be able to understand how you're feeling. I think don't fucking hang out with your friends you see, I got the opposite advice.

yas:

They're like you have to leave the house, you have to leave the house, like, fine, I'll leave the house and I'd just be out and I'd be like I'd see like two people smiling and I'd be like he's smiling in a way, I remember, when you just hate that's what I'm saying you hate seeing couples.

yas:

After that you're like fuck you do you think because you went through a toxic relationship, right? How do you, how do you stop yourself not bringing in like your trust issues and all those previous things into your new relationship, because you're in like a healthy, good relationship now?

Bobby:

But I went in with the trust issues. That's a problem, I don't know. I just went in with that. But I think that that also then led me to like find the right girl. It's like you know, I waited because I wasn't like trying to like get into anything, because I just just like didn't trust any of the girls.

yas:

This is actually my last question now. How do you keep a healthy relationship in, like, the day and age we live in, with everything, with social media, having so much access to beautiful people all the time and like so much temptation Because it is very easy? How does you not let it affect your relationship, because it's very hard not to realistically?

Bobby:

Like I said, any of those girls that you you are. If you're a guy and you're okay, you're in a relationship with a girl, if you're thinking, oh, there's these, all these other hot girls on instagram and all that shit, all those girls that you're seeing, the ones that are popping and stuff, they're gone. They belong to the world. Do you see what I'm saying? They belong to the streets, as the weekend would say. They belong to the world. So they're out there, they're doing their own thing. They don't care about you. Do you see what I'm saying? They only care about what could you do for them?

yas:

yeah, what bag could you buy, could?

Bobby:

you get me a chanel bag? Can you take me on a business class like the uvisa?

Bobby:

that's what they're thinking so that's what you've got to understand is like your girlfriend is real. And you also got to understand the face app. And fucking chicks are like really good at catfishing, catfishing and really good at making themselves look like hot. So it's like you know, you think, oh, wow. Also, if you're a guy and you're like, okay, if you're one of those guys and you you go out with the boys and you are you like, oh, like fuck, there's so many hot chicks here.

Bobby:

No, there isn't it's called beer goggles because yeah, it's beer girls and it's also called. Yeah, you're in the club and everything's cool and there's cool music and there's cool lighting and it's dark and they've got makeup on and they've got a super sick dress and heels and stuff. So obviously they look at their best.

yas:

Beware of the beer glasses, beware of the catfish. Thank you for coming on the Breakup Diet.

Bobby:

Honour to be a guest. Bye.

People on this episode

Head Shot

Ilma Shahrene

Co-host
Head Shot

Yasmin Misner

Co-host
Head Shot

Bobby Misner

Guest