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The Break-Up Diet
Welcome to The Break Up Diet—your weekly dose of self-improvement, glow-ups, and everything breakups (yes, not just the romantic ones). Hosted by Yasmin and Ilma, we’re your no-BS besties here to guide you through every type of breakup—whether it’s from a person, a toxic cycle, or even your old self.
We’re flipping the breakup narrative.
No more heartbreak—just transformation. No more setbacks—only glow-ups. Breakups are the ultimate opportunity to level up, and we’re here to help you do exactly that. Whether it's navigating friendships, situationships, or even kicking bad habits (we see you, vaping!), we’ve got the raw, real talk to help you rebuild and thrive.
Grab your seat, darlings—this is where the best version of YOU begins.
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The Break-Up Diet
Does long distance make the heart grow fonder or bitter?
Imagine navigating the unpredictable seas of long-distance relationships, where every wave of emotion could either bring you closer or pull you apart. Our latest episode unravels the emotional complexities of being miles away from a loved one, challenging the age-old adage—does absence truly make the heart grow fonder, or does it sow seeds of doubt and distance? From the unique pressures of geographical separations, like bridging the gap between Australia and London, to the sometimes unsettling role technology plays in our intimate connections, we share candid insights and personal stories that reveal the intricate balance of love and independence.
We've all been there—struggling to keep the spark alive amidst time differences and missed moments. This episode invites you to explore the delicate dance of maintaining your individuality while nurturing a relationship from afar. Is there an art to balancing spontaneous adventures with personal growth? We shed light on how these challenges can unexpectedly foster a structured lifestyle and reinforce personal goals, turning obstacles into opportunities for growth. Our conversation also highlights how taking initiative is crucial when physical presence is absent, and the latent strength in long-distance bonds that often goes unnoticed.
Trust and communication, the twin pillars of any relationship, become even more critical when miles separate you from your partner. How do we manage jealousy when social media offers constant glimpses into each other’s lives? We delve into these universal challenges, sharing real-world experiences about managing trust, the importance of future planning, and the significance of small gestures that keep love alive across distances. As we explore the controversial idea of opening up a relationship to manage such challenges, we offer our personal takes on why such decisions aren't always the answer. Join us for a thought-provoking discussion on how to not only survive but thrive in a long-distance relationship.
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Email: thebreakupdietpodcast@gmail.com
Long distance. Does it make the heart grow fonder?
Yaz:or bitter.
Ilmz:A little bit of both. Maybe Mine's only made me bitter. I've never been happier.
Yaz:I feel like you're just bitter. I'm joking Buckle up bitches, bitches. It's gonna get bumpy. This is the breakup diet. It makes it better if you don't have an angle yeah, when there's not an end date yeah, because at the start I feel like it can be quite fun. Yeah, but then as time goes on, sometimes it gets a bit tiring.
Ilmz:You're like okay, how long more there's an end date.
Yaz:It's like okay, we can do a countdown like five weeks four weeks, yeah, so you think there has to be an end date till you see each other, or an end date till the relationship changes and you're not long distance.
Ilmz:Yeah, till I think a bit of both till you see each other until it's not long distance. Yeah, I think a bit of both. Until we see each other, until it's not long distance anymore. I think ideally, when it's not long distance anymore, that would make a bearable.
Yaz:How do you bring up something like that to a new relationship? That's a bit awkward. Imagine you start dating a guy and then two months later he moves away and you're like so when am I moving in? Yeah, you're like so what was this last two months? No, that's a bit intense. You can, I don't think you can do that no, you can't.
Ilmz:But you know the first two months are intense as it is and then when the person moves away, you're like wait what? How do we progress to the next stage of the relationship if we're gonna be apart?
Yaz:yeah, I get you, so you have been in a long distance relationship yeah yeah, the australia to london long distance that's not gonna work. Full stop, sorry didn't work I mean australia is like a big. That's a big difference. I have like best friends in australia that I don't even speak to. I mean best friend one.
Ilmz:I don't speak to her at all, just because of the time I would be up at midnight, 1am, he'd finish work at five. We'd have, like that, one hour window to talk to each other properly. And then sometimes life gets in the way, he'd get busy after work or he'd work slightly longer hours and then you know that postpones our facetime like date. How come you were doing long distance from Australia.
Yaz:I had to come back for my visa renewal. That's not the one, because also, if you're doing long distance, like with that distance completely on the other side of the world, yeah, stuff always gets in the way and it's always at an inconvenient time for someone. Either you just wake up and they're like just going to bed. Or they're just going out for dinner or vice versa.
Ilmz:So it's like always, you know, busy yeah, and then sometimes I wouldn't even sleep because I'd look at his location all night 8 pm and he'd be at chipriani's or something and I'd be like what's he doing there? He never mentioned any like restaurant dates, like what's he?
Yaz:doing there. Oh, so you had a location and everything oh yeah, that would make me sick.
Ilmz:No, have you not shared your location with your man before?
Yaz:no, never really. I never even would ask. I don't know why. Oh, you are such a secure girlie? I don't think so, but I think I would go nuts. Yeah, at the end of the day. I don't want to be checking that as well like I already have instagram to check. I already have tiktok to check, you know we know too much with technology.
Ilmz:I feel like if anything, technology kind of makes it worse yeah, I'm still stuck.
Yaz:How do you even ask for somebody's location, like, give me your location now, please?
Ilmz:I actually can't remember how it came about, but it not. None of us were like, oh, this is too much. We were just like, yeah, sure, I find that so possessive. Yeah, but it didn't come across in a possessive way, otherwise I would have known, I would have like you would have clocked. Yeah, I would have clocked but it just felt like you know supernatural. But I can see there's definitely pros and cons to sharing locations.
Yaz:Did it ever get you like in trouble?
Ilmz:no, no did it ever get you like in trouble? No, no. Did you ever get him in trouble? No, when we were long distancing and I'd see him at places, I'd be up like till 5am looking at his location, driving myself crazy with like narratives. That's what technology does to you.
Yaz:I still don't get why you would have the location full stop Just for safety.
Ilmz:Safety. I think that was the reason and I probably thought oh my gosh, he cares about me yeah, no, he doesn't.
Yaz:He wants to check that you're not cheating, yeah, or lying about what you're doing. Yeah, because he probably is. Yeah, what do you think the hardest part of being in a long distance relationship is?
Ilmz:The hardest part is if you've already had cracks to begin with, the cracks get worse and worse. So if you had problems from day one, the problems long distance are 10 times worse. Why do you think that is? The distance just amps up the anxiety. It amps up all the drama. You get really brave because you know it's not going to be face to face.
Yaz:So you argue more, you bicker more so you think long distance equals more bickering and yeah, I haven't had the healthiest experience.
Ilmz:Have you experienced long distance?
Yaz:yes, I have in some things. I think it's nice almost, because for me, like I'm super independent. If if we were always together and he lived in the same place, then I feel like I would always be with him, so I'd probably become the girl that's like always with their boyfriend on the other side. It would be nice just to be able to like, be like oh, come to mine at 7 pm and like we'll watch a movie on a Tuesday night, instead of like planning, having to like organize a bag, having to know like I'm not in London for this time.
Ilmz:It's annoying yeah, is your. Was your long distance relationship within the UK, or was it?
Yaz:countries. Okay, I have it now.
Ilmz:Oh, okay. So how is that? Does the distance actually make a difference?
Yaz:Well, yeah, because I still am doing a distance. It's not like 40 minutes in a car. It's still like three hours, yeah, or just over three hours, so it still is a travel oh yeah, it is definitely so, and almost like four, if I'm driving, it makes a difference, and it's not like I can be like at a restaurant and then be like, oh, I'm just gonna pop there and then come back, whereas if it was like 40 minutes I could do that definitely, that's like london, you know.
Yaz:Yeah, definitely to be fair long distance. In london is like living in shortage and living in we've got a long distance.
Ilmz:We both live in central london, yet it takes me an hour to get to each other yeah, yeah, we have long distance we have long distance relationship. We're making it work. We're making it work, yeah, it's because you're, we're both flexible and you're you're very accommodating.
Ilmz:Oh, so are you so with your situation, because you know when you're going to see him, do you feel like your life has a better structure, like, okay, these days I'm gonna see my friends. These days I'm gonna be with my parents. This weekend I'm gonna be with my boyfriend yeah, but I I get what you're saying. I kind of don't like that you don't like the structure of it I think it's nice to some degree.
Yaz:But then it would also be nice to be a bit spontanea, spontaneous, spontaneous. You know, when you're it's like a surprise if you're spontaneous and it's like a thrill and it's nice. That would be nice. Sometimes I get what you're saying with it being a nice structure to some degree. Yeah, because at least you know like okay, this week, yes, I'm doing me, next week I'm doing him yeah, it is nice in that regard and I guess I can focus and not focus and it kind of feels like a holiday.
Yaz:Yeah even though it shouldn't, but it feels like a holiday from, not because we do super fun things or anything or anything different.
Ilmz:Is it because you're switching out of your life and you're Going a bit more into like his, his life? Yeah, would you say that's balanced. Then I feel like that sounds like a nice, healthy, balanced, long-distance relationship.
Yaz:Yeah, I think, so I kind of have my own life still which is a good thing. It's a good thing, but it's also a bit annoying, because I want to. Integrate him more as well it feels almost I feel like long distance kind of feels. Sometimes, although I have a boyfriend, it almost feels like I don't, because you go and you see them and then you go back to like your life, and then you go and see them and then you go back to like your life where you don't have them around besides like a phone call.
Yaz:It's kind of weird, you know that sounds quite nice.
Ilmz:The separation seems quite healthy, because a lot of people we kind of struggle with keeping our men and then our personal lives separate. We lose ourselves in there. We lose our focus with our career and yeah our drive. I feel like you've got it on lock I mean, yeah, for that it's really good.
Yaz:Yeah, but then it is quite nice to like have a sexy man with you. When you walk into like a restaurant with like your friends, even like a big dinner or something, and you have, you know, your man, that's sexy. I was like I don't have that. If I do big group things, it would be quite nice to actually have my boyfriend there and not be like a like people probably thinking is he imaginary?
Ilmz:he's not, he's real, he's real, he's very real.
Yaz:I've met him he's a very real person with yours. Is it only the australian?
Ilmz:one. Yeah, I've just had that one and I feel like I was hardcore the time difference, the distance, and actually we didn't have an end date.
Yaz:Did you ever not do long distance with him, or it was always just long distance?
Ilmz:To be honest, it was never long distance at the start. Yeah, we were both based in London and obviously I had to go back and I wasn't sure how long I was going to be gone for and I just felt like he wasn't picking up the slack and taking the initiative to come see me. I know, it's like.
Yaz:I mean that's expensive, that one.
Ilmz:But you know, you go insane when you haven't seen your man. After what? Three, four months, yeah, and then the fifth month. It just got too much. The fighting, the jealousy.
Yaz:Also, what do you say after? It's a bit awkward, I feel. Feel like when you don't see somebody in person and then after a while, like what do you actually say besides? Like yeah, I had some chicken for dinner. And like, oh, my god, it was so funny, my boss made me, I don't know do something I didn't want to do. I mean that sounded dodgy, but no, you know what I mean, because normal life I don't think is that exciting on the day to day you fight.
Ilmz:Instead, you harp on the past.
Yaz:You think of overthink interactions from when you guys were together in person say you're a long distance right yours is a bit harder because you were across the globe right, but how long do you think you should be like four weeks and then you should make sure that you see your man, or two weeks, or do you have like a time frame you think? It's good once a month at least I try to see, like I tried to do it every two weeks yeah, no, two weeks is very nice.
Ilmz:I think that's perfect balance between having your life and then spending time with him yeah, I mean, I would like it to be more obviously, but then it, then it's like it's hard to keep everything else in check. It's enough time for your relationship to progress as well at the same time.
Yaz:Yeah, I guess also we don't get annoyed as much. Maybe yeah, because it's like two weeks break go away.
Ilmz:Is there a lot of excitement and anticipation leading up to seeing each other? Yeah, that must be nice.
Yaz:Yeah, I mean I feel like long distance makes it cute. You miss them when you're away and I feel like you miss when something's not there, obviously. So then it makes it cute yeah.
Ilmz:What about trust? I feel like, with two weeks, it's not enough time for you to go insane and start accusing each other of cheating.
Yaz:No, I don't think so either. To be fair, it also depends on your partner's lifestyle and what they do and how they are. You know if you're dating a cheeky chappy and, like he was a cheeky chappy with you, he's a personality in the room.
Ilmz:Although that's super fun, I'd be insecure I'd be so insecure I would be like I'd be like why are you showing off that personality for pipe down?
Yaz:you're not funny you're a mute reserve that for me yeah, entertain me me and not any other bitch yeah when you were doing long distance were you insecure because I was so insecure.
Ilmz:He was so insecure and it was just so messy. He would accuse me of cheating. I would accuse him of cheating, and then I found out he was cheating. Wait, who accused who first? He accused me of cheating. I would accuse him of cheating, and then I found out he was cheating. Wait, who accused you first? He accused me of cheating. He always accused me of cheating, such that the projection is so real.
Ilmz:So, second, you know, two weeks when I settled into australia, I was out partying with all my friends from uni. He'd be like did you hook up with anyone? Did you do this? Did you do that? I'm like no, like I'm back home, I have a curfew of midnight, like I'm living with my parents. I need to go home, yeah weird yeah and then, as if he accused you I know, I know, and this was back in 2019, when in Instagram you can see everyone's following, activity and likes activity.
Yaz:Oh my god, I forgot about that?
Ilmz:Yeah, that was how I was able to find out he cheated.
Yaz:Oh my god, so do you think technology makes long distance relationships harder?
Ilmz:So much harder because you know too much. Yeah, you know way too much. It's bad as it is with. You know the location, then the follower activity and then, even without that, you can easily stalk his current likes and see which girls liked his photo. Go through their profile. Oh, he liked it. Oh, he did a comment. Oh, there's more comments, wait, he's in her photo dump. Wait, they're dancing together. Have you heard that?
Yaz:that is exactly what happened yeah, sorry you went into the photos and then you saw, yeah, he was in her photo dump and then what did you do?
Ilmz:that's rough yeah, obviously I extended to him and he was like gaslighting me, it's not what it is they, they were just friends, it's just a festival. Everyone's dancing in a festival and I'm like well, your groin is like touching her ass, separate, genuinely. It looked like an X-ray to film, but with clothes. Ew, for me, I'm traumatized with long distance.
Yaz:Yeah, I don't blame you, I would be traumatized yeah, so I'm gonna be. I'm gonna be going through tagged photos and going on to girls accounts and looking for photo dumps no, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it.
Ilmz:Choose your piece choose your piece. I trust, I trust, I trust my man so, with quality time and long distance, the time apart, what do you guys do to kind of keep it going?
Yaz:keep it going yeah I mean because we're only away for like two. Two weeks longest is probably like five weeks or four weeks that we've done to keep it like interesting. I wish I had better tips, but I just like we just call.
Yaz:We don't text in the day, really yeah, because then we have nothing to talk about then, we talk about stuff at night and then I guess we just plan fun things to do when we're together, whether that's like going on a date night, whether that's I don't know doing activity or doing something together that's fun to look forward to yeah and that's how we keep it like fun have you done anything extreme or crazy to keep the spice alive?
Yaz:no, to be fair, I'm not very good. I'm not very good at keeping the spice, I don't think, but I don't know. I would just try to make them feel really special when you're together so it's not crazy, but you know what I mean.
Yaz:You try to do it counts yeah, and you try to do the little things, so like with Valentine's Day, anniversaries, all this sort of thing, like I'll make sure I do little details that make it really sweet, yeah and I would imagine, like with the long distance, the little things really just make it that much more special because it's long distance yeah, yeah. Have you ever done anything crazy to like keep the spice alive?
Ilmz:or you guys just argued, so there was already spice just apart from being manically insecure and start fights, that does keep it alive.
Yaz:It's toxic yeah, but do you see, I'm not we, I don't fight well as in, like I don't like fighting, I'm just like a sop. Do you see? I have good. I have good comebacks when I'm like in an actual argument. Yeah no, or just like in an argument with somebody else. But if it's with like somebody I really like, then I'm really bad. I'm like why?
Ilmz:yeah, I couldn't really get it.
Yaz:You know when you're in a long distance. Did you ever feel lonely?
Ilmz:oh my gosh all the time, and the loneliness made me the most annoying person because I would talk about my relationship to everyone. I would anything. I'd be the Carrie of the group. You know how Carrie talks about big all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I would be that, okay, genuinely. I'd ruin every function, every vibe, everything. I could be on a holiday.
Ilmz:I was at the Whitsund um while I was long distancing and you know I was in the most beautiful corner of the world and I couldn't enjoy it because my message was left on scene. He's been online.
Yaz:He's been liking people's photos but I feel like this relationship. Obviously you didn't have trust at the start, right? So then I feel like if you're doing a long distance, you almost have to. I mean, it's hard if it's at the very beginning and then they move away or you move away, but you have to have the trust at the beginning, otherwise it's failed. From what did you do when you didn't see that he didn't like respond and be online? Did you just talk?
Ilmz:about it my entire mood and I'd bomb everyone down because I'd bitch about him to all my friends and they'd get weighed down because you know, you're obviously on the holiday, no one wants to hear this shit. And here I am just ruining everyone's holiday by just moping and then I wouldn't interact or I wouldn't like participate in the activities. I'd just be in the room by myself, just paralyzed in anxiety.
Yaz:It's just how did you get yourself out of those, or you didn't you just let yourself do it?
Ilmz:oh, I just had to like, let myself rot. And it just got spiraled and spiraled to the point that we had to end it so you never had a moment where you just let the rotting not take it over no, it just fully took over, ruined my holiday. Came back home, was with him for a few more weeks, fought some more, and then he called it.
Yaz:Thank god do you think you would?
Ilmz:have called it. No, I think I'm such a fighter. It's hard, isn't? It, I feel like women do like hold on yeah, and they don't want it to like end whereas, like I feel, like men are just like oh yeah, that's enough.
Yaz:It's not serving me, how did you manage yourself not actually going crazy when you had the like not responding and everything like this? Okay, so you got really sad, but how did you? Did you act on like an impulse and texting loads and be like why aren't you responding?
Ilmz:or how I just have to like hold my ground, because I know that if I kept on messaging him, kept on blowing up his phone, it would annoy him even more. So I would have moments where I try to be the bigger person, but it would actually make me more insane yeah, yeah, because you're keeping it all in.
Yaz:That's something as well with. I don't know if this is just in general relationships or long distance, but if you keep something in, and even though it's small, all the small things for me anyway, they add up and they might, and then it just comes out. When it comes out is way worse, oh it's almost good to just like air it straight away I think so too.
Ilmz:But then there's that constant battle of do I just hold my tongue and allow it, or do I just speak my feelings? And you're actually not happy either way. Even if you do successfully tell him what's bothering you, you still feel like shit because you're like, oh, I've ruined another day by telling him I feel X, y, z, yeah.
Yaz:Yeah, and then is he going to like me less because maybe I'm being crazy, yeah.
Ilmz:But then, if you don't speak, you're pissed off at yourself for harboring all this anger.
Yaz:It's hard. Honestly, I feel like you can't get into a long distance relationship if you're not secure in the relationship.
Ilmz:Yeah, you have to be secure to begin with.
Yaz:But it's hard if it's out of the very start, because you don't know. Yeah, because I feel like trust is burnt, not given. Yeah, definitely, definitely. So you can't really tell if it happens at the very start yeah.
Ilmz:So for situations where there is no end date, what's the best way of coping? How do you keep everyone optimistic, like, okay, we will reunite one day and it's going to be amazing? How do you keep that momentum up?
Yaz:I got no idea, to be honest. But, like with me, I don't necessarily have an end date, so I kind of am living that, but then I just focus on what's how it feels right now and what's going on at this moment. So you're very present with it, and I think at the moment that it doesn't suit both of us anymore, then there'll be a change. Yeah, but at the moment. It's good and it works, and like it's working.
Ilmz:No, but that's really good advice. So I think with long-distance relationships, when there's no end date, just be super present and be grateful for the now.
Yaz:Yeah, because until I feel like you don't break something or you don't walk away or you don't change something, if it's working, you're feeling good, you're happy, why do you necessarily have to think about what's next, especially if you're at the beginning of a relationship? If you're not on a biological clock I'm still only 24, so you know what I mean it's not too much of a worry, whereas, like if I was 32, just because of biology, I'd be thinking oh my God, I need to kind of know you know, yeah, no, absolutely when you had your long distance?
Yaz:were you just constantly checking all these socials?
Ilmz:Yeah, constantly checking his socials.
Yaz:Did you get a thrill? Is that why you did it?
Ilmz:Yeah, it is like a dopamine rush, unfortunately. It's disgusting, it's embarrassing, it's shameful and it just turned into a routine as well, where I'd wake up, sees the follower activity, see who's liking his stuff. Oh, he's followed two new people. Oh, my god, one of them's a girl. Wait, she looks like me.
Yaz:Yeah, yeah, yeah, crazy it's weird if they don't look like you, though that also happens I just get insulted.
Ilmz:It's an insult both ways in a very different way yeah, I'm like, hold on.
Yaz:Yeah, it's also a weird thing if you see them and they're not attractive to you know, because I'm like, oh, he would cheat on me with that, you know. But then if she was better looking, I'd be like even more insecure, insecure.
Ilmz:You know what? If they were better looking, I would actually kind of be understanding. I'd be like okay, I get it, it's adriana lima. Like yeah, you know, I get it but when it's someone uglier. I'm just like why would you throw away a relationship for someone that you're not even attracted to?
Yaz:I mean, yeah, I mean, they're obviously attracted to them a bit that. But what men?
Ilmz:are just so easy. They fall for temptation so easily.
Yaz:Yeah that's something that I think in a long distance relationship, people freak out about especially women because I don't know, because I'm not a man but yeah they seem to. When the opportunity is there, it's hard not to take, and if a girl is attractive and being super kind and super over the top, like it takes a big willpower to for a man to be like no also even a female, to be honest.
Yaz:If a super attractive man came up and was being like ultra nice, all ticks all the boxes, it also would probably be hard.
Ilmz:Oh my gosh.
Yaz:Yeah, the temptation's real, so I feel like that's what I feel like with cheating is it's a lack of willpower if you yeah, because like there's always there's always a temptation for men or women, there's always somebody better looking than you, better looking than your partner, but not that, I don't think that. But but you know what I mean. There's always a temptation.
Ilmz:It's whether you act on it or not so I think it comes down to willpower can't lie, I do flirt, even in when I'm in the relationship. I do flirt like for me. I'm just like, oh, whatever, girl power, it's harmless. But if a man did, if my man did, I'd be like what.
Yaz:I'm so like, first thing, I have a boyfriend, yeah.
Ilmz:I go. I have a boyfriend, but I know that's not gonna bother you. It's fun to test men sometimes.
Yaz:I don't think they need a test. Oh, I know they'll fail it anyway, yeah. I think a lot of arguments stem when you're in long distance from not seeing the person really or who's making more of the effort.
Ilmz:Yeah.
Yaz:And if you feel like you made the effort last time, almost you feel like it should be the other way.
Ilmz:And if it's?
Yaz:not. It's like well, do you even want to be in this relationship?
Ilmz:Exactly Because it feels like only I'm trying. Why are you not trying? Yeah, I'm trying. Why are you not trying? Is?
Yaz:that worth it for you yeah. Yeah, it is a weird one, and they just might be ultra busy with work or whatever that week, so they actually can't feel as personal yeah, so in your situation, yeah, things are like going really smoothly, hypothetically speaking.
Ilmz:When would you be like oh, how much longer can I go with this two week, two week routine?
Yaz:will it ever get like that? I think long distance will get too much. When you stop caring, as in like the little things stop happening, so like you don't I don't know do all the little gestures that make it worthwhile. So when the effort starts fading, is that when it's like, okay, let's just yeah, because long distance is a big effort, full stop. Like it's not as easy as them living around the corner and can pop over whenever it requires, like planning adjustments because you have to move around your stuff, they have to move around their stuff. It's also like you're in somebody else's space. If they live in a different country, it's totally unfamiliar maybe to you. You know what I mean. There's lots of elements that go into it that make it harder, like the small little gestures that you both do for each other.
Yaz:When they stop happening, when you can't be bothered to do it anymore, like travel and all this sort of thing, then I feel like it's getting too much. And if you don't have some sort of plan Even though that's hard, like I don't have a plan, you know what I mean. But if you don't talk about the future, if you don't have any sort of idea of where it might head. Even if it's not solid, then I think it becomes too much. Yeah, because you don't know what you're putting in all that extra effort for.
Yaz:Yeah, when you're in a long distance, you sometimes miss out on certain things that you wouldn't normally. Just because you don't go out with all your girlfriends to special events, because you think what's the point? Like I want to stay in, I want to phone call my boyfriend, like I don't really care. So sometimes it's fine, but then if you're starting to miss out on lots of different things, you're not really living in the present. Yeah, you owe it to yourself to make the most of your you time and time with your friends, especially if you're young and like people are meeting people not even for a relationship, just for life say, if the relationship is becoming too rocky, would you, in an act of say, trying to save the relationship, would you be like, okay, let's just make it open?
Yaz:no way, no way, no, because in an open relationship I don't know I couldn't have my boyfriend being with somebody else and being fine with it I wouldn't want.
Ilmz:Want people to know as well. It's embarrassing I.
Yaz:It wouldn't even get me that it. It would be like I don't want to share.
Ilmz:Yeah, no fair.
Yaz:You know, would you have an open relationship? No, I would never have an open relationship. Even if I was just dating somebody, not even in a full-blown relationship with them, I would not like to know that they had other people.
Ilmz:Definitely at the same time as well.
Yaz:Yeah, like, are you going there and then coming over to me like that's gross. Yeah, I like also, I don't know, are you saying the same things to me?
Ilmz:you're saying to her yeah, like what is it just gets so messy personally, I don't think open relationships would work for me.
Yaz:But some people are way more fluid and just like go with the flow and then I think maybe it could, but for me personally, no, personally, god, no, yeah, no way. Do you think that long distance relationships, like looking at a positive of it, do you think that they make it even better your relationship and like build some anticipation of like how exciting the future might be you?
Ilmz:obviously have the countdown of when you're going to see them next and then when you are there in person. There's just that excitement that, oh, it's been ages, let's catch up what's been happening and you have the best catch up. You know you do fun stuff together that you've been looking forward to for ages, so I think it definitely does make it fun and exciting.
Yaz:But you wouldn't want to go into a long distance.
Ilmz:No, not after my past experience.
Yaz:Just because of the trauma, or you just don't like them.
Ilmz:The trauma, the effort. I do like you know from hearing it from you I do like, okay, there's a separation of my life and then life with him. I really do like that, but it is effort. It's a separation of my life and then life with him. I really do like that, but it is effort. It's a lot more effort. Yeah, the packing. I think it's the packing.
Yaz:Yeah, and even leaving stuff there. Like, I leave some stuff there sometimes.
Ilmz:You leave your wallet back there yeah. I mean Apple Pay.
Yaz:Leaving even clothes. And then you're in London, for example, and I'm like I need that, I needed that one coat. So say somebody wasn't replying to you in your long distance and have you ever what would be something you would do to like that might be petty but to get their attention?
Ilmz:thirst trap easily on insta story. Just do the most. Sometimes I wouldn't even be doing live thirst trapping, I'd just be taking out archives and reposting it again, archives from when we weren't together and repost it.
Yaz:Would he get annoyed if you were posting thirst traps in general? Yeah, I'm sure would you. So when you're in a relationship, would you post less?
Ilmz:I think, or have you past relationship, I feel like I've posted the same amount, but with that long distance relationship I was doing the most and he caught up on it. Why? What do you say? He would reply to my story being like okay, you won, I'll message you like we can talk now yeah, would he be like always going out loads and stuff and you seeing that yeah?
Ilmz:so obviously there'd be some nights where I'd see he'd be out. So, say, in london it was 3 am and australia we're 10 hours ahead. It'd be 10 am and I'd be looking at um his location, be like it's 3 am at night time and he's still out. Is he in tape right now? What trash? Yeah, that's such trashy single boy behavior. Message him. I'd be like what are you doing? Like you're for the streets, like I just haven't ever heard that you've got the most perfect example of what a good long distance relationship is.
Yaz:Yeah, probably like genuinely like quality over quantity is what you've shown us yeah, I definitely feel like when you're in a long-distance relationship, you have to make sure that when you are together, that you're very present and you aren't on your phone, Because when you're not together, you're always on your phone because you're like looking at the messages you're FaceTiming, Whereas, like when you are together, I think it's really important to separate. You're more present as well.
Ilmz:Yeah, and make sure you do fun things together. Oh, that sounds nice. I feel like you've really genuinely nailed long distance relationship. I've got a lot to learn from you. I don't know. Stay tuned. I'm like a long distance, like traumatized victim, and this is like yas is like a long distance champion. Yeah, queen. So, for you, the distance does make the heart grow fonder, and for me, the distance makes the heart grow bitter, bitter.
Ilmz:Didn't you date somebody in your building? Yes, I dated someone in my building, and when it's hyper short distance, he assumed that I'd be free all the time. He'd be like oh, let's just go out for dinner, like you're only just upstairs, just come downstairs.
Yaz:Like no, just come downstairs. Like no, but no, it's me time. I've got like a towel on my head.
Ilmz:Yeah, face mask on popped a pimple condition. I've got my pimple cream. Like I think I've been through the two most extreme, like ultra long distance to micro distance, six floors apart.
Yaz:I wouldn't like micro distance, because now when I go off, like I'm most of the time, not always, but like I'm making an effort, you know, reminding him what he has, but when I'm at home I'm an actual gremlin.
Ilmz:One mile radius of your apartment should be like your ugly zone.
Yaz:The micro distance can only come when you live together. Yeah, and even then you need distance. Yeah, thanks guys for listening in.
