The Break-Up Diet

The Breakup Diet's Survival kit for the Holidays!

• Yasmin Misner and Ilma Shahrene • Season 1 • Episode 12

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Have you ever wondered why Christmas carols evoke both joy and dread? Join us on a festive yet introspective journey as we untangle our complicated feelings toward the holiday season, especially as single women. We reminisce about contrasting Christmas experiences in London and Australia, from wintry scenes to sun-soaked beaches. As we prepare for a return to Perth, we humorously dissect the influence of romantic Christmas movies like "The Holiday" and "Love Actually," pondering why they make us yearn for unexpected love stories that rarely happen in real life.

Navigating breakups during the holidays can be a real emotional rollercoaster, filled with awkward gift dilemmas and unexpected social dynamics. We share light-hearted stories and reflect on the seasonal upswing in online dating and social opportunities, as well as the often-messy reality of relationships during this time. Why don't movies ever show this side of the festive season? We poke fun at the lack of realism in holiday films and share amusing anecdotes, like a woman reclaiming her presents post-infidelity, offering a playful contrast to the idyllic narratives often found in media.

As we embrace the holidays on our own terms, self-empowerment takes center stage. From creating new traditions like Friendsgiving and crafting empowering playlists to handling unexpected ex encounters with grace, we emphasize self-care and resilience. Whether planning responses to nosy family questions or strategizing an escape plan from holiday gatherings, it's all about looking forward to new beginnings and celebrating singlehood. With humor, reflection, and a touch of seasonal cheer, we invite you to explore the dynamics of single life during the festive season with us. Merry Christmas, and here's to new adventures!

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Ilmz:

Welcome back to another episode of the Breakup Diet.

Yaz:

We are Yaz and Ilms if you didn't know that already and it's our Christmas edition Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. I actually hate Christmas carols, Do you?

Ilmz:

It's alright, Like it is fun. I do like some of the songs. It's not really carols like Santa Baby, that's fun.

Yaz:

Santa Baby, that one, like it is fun. I do like some of the songs it's not really carols like santa baby, that's fun. Santa baby that one, yeah, yeah, that's quite. Yeah, I do quite like that, but I just don't like how much they play them yeah, it like.

Ilmz:

I think after the first week of listening to it you're like okay let's wrap it up now. Yeah, that's when it's annoying, but we're here to another holiday season. This year just flew by what the hell, I know.

Yaz:

Our second celebration we did halloween on the breakup diet, now we're doing christmas, that is crazy yeah um, um.

Ilmz:

Are you like in the spirit?

Yaz:

I feel like you are yeah, I mean I like london in the christmas, like it is pretty winter wonderland. There's like the lights, there's lots of like festive parties, you know, like everybody it does, and it's cold. So for the like stereotypical christmas that's nice. But I I kind of feel more christmassy in australia for myself that's where we're from, like christmas by the beach. Red bikini, lamb chops yeah, seafood, yeah, surf and turf, oh my god australian surf and turf.

Ilmz:

I miss it so much. I can't wait. But I think in the lead up to christmas I've been watching a lot of movies, as you do. I mean, I'm single, I've got nothing better to do.

Yaz:

Yeah, the thing is, it's nice to watch movies, but what movies are you watching?

Ilmz:

The Holiday Love Actually.

Yaz:

So you're watching rom-coms. The Holiday to be fair is one of my favorite movies, but Love Actually and the Holiday are like serious rom-coms. The Holiday to be fair is one of my favorite movies, but Love Actually and the Holiday are like serious rom-coms. How's that making you feel?

Ilmz:

It's my second Christmas by myself. I'm better this time around, but it does make you kind of fantasize about the perfect man.

Yaz:

Yeah, that's what I, that's what I was getting at when I asked you, because it like makes you feel like you've got to find love in you know a weird place. Like you're walking down the street and you grab a coffee and like you or no, I've got it, are you ready? You're walking your dog down the street. It does a poo. Okay, you bend down to, you know, get the poo. As you bend down, you like look up and there's a man and he stood right there and he's like don't worry. And then, I don't know, he gives you an extra poo bag. Don't know why I'm going with this story. And then you fall in love like it make.

Ilmz:

It makes you think that you'll find love in the most inconvenient. Not, it makes you feel like you're going to find love in like such hopeless places.

Yaz:

Yeah, like you might, but I feel like it's pretty unlikely. Buckle up bitches, it's going to get bumpy. This is the breakup diet.

Yaz:

Nowadays, yeah, people just stare at you and hope that they'll find you on social media or something yeah, but yeah, like also I'm guessing, when you go back to perth like you're probably not looking that cute. Maybe this is just me, but if I'm on holiday with my parents for christmas and I go into my hometown, I am looking like an actual gremlin, like the grinch, if you must, the actual grinch. I'm like either sweaty from like a gym and just like slick back bun grease kind of vibe, or I'm like pop the pimple, walk down I feel like australia in general.

Ilmz:

It's not a romantic place no the australian men will not go out of their way to like chat on you or whatever, like they would here or america. So like any christmas romantic fantasies in australia, it's out the door. But like the last few days that I'm here, I'm kind of like oh, this is the perfect guy, like around around the corner, like he could be in this street. Yeah, he could be the Uber driver.

Yaz:

Yeah, I mean, aim high. It's quite easy to after my exes. Yeah, you've got it. You've got it. Christmas, you need a present.

Ilmz:

And it needs to be a six-foot-five man.

Yaz:

Yeah.

Ilmz:

With abs.

Yaz:

Yeah, good luck.

Ilmz:

Not a lot of them out there where they are because I'm like towering over these men in the movies. They're like all tall and rugged and yeah with jobs.

Yaz:

Yeah, that's a problem. The movies, they're fun, they're cute, but I feel like if you're a single, they can make you more lonely it like definitely amplifies the loneliness for wanting another man yeah like this year, I've been kind of fine being celibate and just chilling and focusing on work.

Ilmz:

But you know it's december, it's cold, it's all lit up like I see couples everywhere more than ever, like I think I'm noticing them now more yeah, it's.

Yaz:

It is definitely because of also, like the end of year recapping, people are like I don't know, sharing more, maybe of their partners because they had such a great year together, or the movies are then, you know, projecting how you have to find somebody and that you shouldn't be single at Christmas and that you're gonna meet somebody in the unexpected spot what got me last year was okay, so I had my breakup in October.

Ilmz:

The lead up to the holiday season was so hard because there were all these TikTok trends. That's like, oh, send it to the person that changed your life this year, send it to the person that made your year, and obviously, like I think about my ex because it's like we had such a great time. But yeah, oh, it made me feel so much worse, the breakups break up over holiday season.

Ilmz:

Whoa hard I just don't know where to begin with, like between if you're getting broken up between September to December, like I am sending you my thoughts and prayers.

Yaz:

Yeah, I mean anytime after Halloween. Really, for me I reckon if it's before Halloween you can kind of get the revenge on the outfit whatever. After Halloween it kind of goes into couple territory and then you know people are really getting cuffed. Yeah, actually my advice is don't break up with them around Christmas. Wait till you get the present. Yeah, get the present, secure the goods, and then you know but maybe you know what you could do. You could do like an early present thing and then your present just for him just doesn't arrive, and then you go away with your family because you have to spend christmas with your family, but they only want it to be a family thing, so he can't come.

Yaz:

Oh god, I'm so bad and then and then, miraculously, you break up in the new year and you don't give him his present that you never got but you still get your present checkpoint amazing, match point, whatever it's called yeah, amazing.

Ilmz:

What a way to just like avoid that responsibility.

Yaz:

It's hard work yeah, because that's another thing, like the pressure of getting a good gift what do you get?

Ilmz:

men, I don't know like more likes for them to like other girls pictures I mean they have unlimited likes.

Yaz:

I'm pretty sure I'm sure they'd want some more. You're like if you could send direct messages of fires like prop, oh, you can. I mean like make sure that their DM gets seen.

Ilmz:

Yeah, basically. So like what do you get? Oh man.

Yaz:

I'm getting him headphones, and you know why I'm getting him airports, like the thing, so he can listen to the podcast slay.

Ilmz:

It's a business investment. I wonder what it's like for couples that have say that someone's birthday, then you've got christmas, then you've got like what if your anniversary is random?

Yaz:

I have his birthday and christmas and it's just rude. Who? Why are they so close like? Are you trying to send me to be bankrupt? Honestly, that's why the christmas gift is way cheaper than the birthday gift. The birthday gift I went, I went out. You know, really it was a big bang oh, how big was the bang hang pretty big, really pretty broke. Can you describe in?

Ilmz:

inches no, I didn't even catch on to that, because you're like big bang and I'm like oh no you can cut this out you know we need to keep it in, but no, I did not.

Yaz:

I was not referring to intercourse. If you had a breakup, but you had gotten your partner a really expensive gift, what are you doing? Are you trying to like refund it? Are you trying to? Or you booked like a really expensive gift, like a getaway, non-refundable? What are you doing? Are you still? You still asking him to go, you taking your mom?

Ilmz:

I'm taking my best friend. Fuck that he's not going there. I'm taking you. We're gonna film an episode of the pod. We're gonna cry about on the pod in a nice setting, hell no, he's not getting that shit after dumping me or even after me dumping him. He's not getting any of that fair.

Yaz:

What would you do if it was reversed? So he just didn't want to take you? What if he gave it to you like, and you knew so you, okay, you broke up, right, you're scheduled to go on the 28th of december and you break up on the 26th, but so you've already got the present. Oh my god, are you taking it and run you're? Doing a duck and dive out the place so you still spend it? Or are you just like throwing it back, like I don't need your greasy present?

Ilmz:

Oh, context is everything I feel like. If he did me dirty, I'll do him dirtier and take one of his best friends. If it was like a really heartfelt emotional breakup, that was like painful to birth a fuss, I'd be like here go with your mom. But then what if he goes with like some random girl?

Yaz:

Yeah, he's like ooh Raya hot brunette.

Ilmz:

Yeah, mentally I'd be like such a bitch, but in person, in reality, I'd be like such a bitch. But in person in reality I'll be like such a softy and be like just just okay, it's your money.

Yaz:

like you know, yeah, you see, my advice from other people would be like take it and run. What I would probably do would probably not be that, because I'd be like I don't even need it. Oh slay.

Ilmz:

I'd be like fine, so tough fine, take it best attitude to have.

Yaz:

But then secretly, I'd probably still want it, so I'd be hoping that he would have some.

Ilmz:

Hey, that's the best episode to have.

Yaz:

Fine, take it Best attitude to have, but then secretly I'd probably still want it. So I'd be hoping that he would have some attitude back and force it back so that I can go yeah as long as it makes you look like you're on the clear.

Ilmz:

Yeah, it looks like I'm the good person but actually Would you say, the romance kind of comes back again a bit more during holiday season.

Yaz:

Yeah, I think so back again a bit more during holiday season. Yeah, I think so. I think it's like cute, especially if you're in london. It's cold, it's dark, it's miserable.

Ilmz:

You kind of want to, you know, just have some cuddles and go to the country and drink hot chocolate yeah, no, it sounds good and I feel like that's probably why, as like a single person, that the apps go off. I'm telling you like december is the month if you are single. You don't need to be suffering by yourself.

Yaz:

There will be people just out here wanting to hang so if you are going to a breakup, you got to get on raya, basically 100 like you will match with every single fucking person there.

Ilmz:

If you don't already like, you will, and you will have conversations with everyone, because everyone wants someone to like text during the holiday season or to see someone during the holiday season.

Yaz:

So my ex, we started messaging during december 2022, like during christmas, and we like texted each other throughout christmas that reminds me of covid relationships, like when you first start out and you're, like you know, excited to have your face time yeah, like those face time date errors.

Ilmz:

Did you ever do that?

Yaz:

no, I was just lonely, just alone, single, thriving oh, not even married. I'm miserable oh, there we go. How times change, yeah, but yeah, I feel like if you're going through a breakup at this time, there are some pros, though they're not just cons, like. The pros would be that there's more parties, so you have more social events, so you're out more, you're not like alone.

Ilmz:

You're with the people that matter to you, like you've got your best friends. You're not actually like stripped away from the world.

Yaz:

Also the present. You don't have to get a present. You don't have to do small talk with their family if you don't like them from personal experiences.

Ilmz:

When your relationship is not going great, christmas can kind of amplify the cracks a bit more, because you're trying to keep this perfect image in front of both your parents, because it's embarrassing to like bicker in front of them yeah, it is awkward to like have a fight.

Yaz:

I actually heard a story. You're gonna like the story. So this girl, she went to her boyfriend's place for christmas. Anyway, she um bought him an ipad. Okay, no, no, I got the story wrong. So she didn't actually buy him an ipad for christmas, he just asked her to set it up. And then, anyway, christmas is like the next day, and so she's found all these messages. So then she goes um downstairs like to the tree with all his family, takes all the presents that he bought her but also that she bought him. So, just like santa claus stood up in the sack and drove off. So then, but the whole she was at his family's house and everything, and they're like what the hell she just told them, the whole thing being like I found all these messages and then just continued to take all her presents and all his presents. She bought him and I was like it's kind of iconic fair enough, it's the right thing to do from the girl's perspective.

Yaz:

Yeah, she was like you haven't given this to me yet, but I'm gonna take it yeah, think of it as a tax for cheating on me yeah, I was like I kind of love that.

Ilmz:

Okay, why don't we make movies about that messy christmases like that?

Yaz:

that is a good idea actually yeah, I don't see that genre.

Ilmz:

It's just more like it's a disheveled girl who goes back to her hometown and finds the perfect guy. It's like. No, I want to see the end of a breakup or the start yeah, we don't want the whole perfect christmas, perfect holiday.

Yaz:

We want to see the realness you know like you don't find love in your hometown no, like really, who finds love in that hometown? You know, going through a divorce and then you just pop up and find some guy at calls like the cashier from calls no like.

Yaz:

That doesn't happen with a mullet and a moustache, like, no, like one person who may be in a million that might happen to but I feel like they're not picky, you know what I mean. Like they're like. They're like oh, he, let me go first and they'll check out.

Ilmz:

Cute, like it must mean something like so cute.

Yaz:

Yeah, the cons of having a breakup in this period would be well, you just feel more lonely because it's all amplified everywhere it's the worst time to go through a breakup.

Ilmz:

If it was a breakup at the start of the summer, you're like oh that hot girl summer, fuck this shit, it's winter, you're at home, it's cold.

Yaz:

Everyone's having their year-end reflections you know, what I also just thought of is that if you have a breakup and you were dating that guy for a whole year, you would look back and be like that year just didn't count, it was all for nothing the entire year. Even if it wasn't, you'd probably think that yeah, yeah.

Ilmz:

so I was with my person from january to october. So you'd imagine how I'd feel in december when you know, you see, you get like, you know how apple makes your year recount of all the videos and the pictures and it's like of him and you're like damn, I spent so much of my time with him this year and it's hard, but it is one of those things where I'm glad I went through.

Yaz:

Character building.

Ilmz:

No, for sure, Character building. Do you see these muscles?

Yaz:

Huge. Yeah, I'm a strong girl. Yeah, I mean, I feel like you have to be strong if you're going to break up in this time, like I would hold out until the other the other end almost I'd hold out. You know what I would do, which might not be unhinged. Advice is I wouldn't break up with somebody around christmas. Actually, I'd break up with them, maybe in march. You're you're seeing the light.

Yaz:

It also gives you some time to like get really hot before summer bang definitely hold on till then yeah, and if you really can't, it's fine because you have you go home. So at least that like, if you can, you go home, you spend time with family and you try to create like some new fun things and new memories in that time and you lean on your friends or something like this made me closer to all of my friends a lot more, especially like last year.

Ilmz:

I spent it with basically all my friends who were single and I just, oh, it was like the most perfect thing ever, because, what'd you do for the single? The single is like galentine's day, but christmas, yeah day yeah, so we did friends giving okay, cute, um, that was really sweet. So everyone brought in like a dish and it was just like, oh, like it makes you think that like I'm complete with my friends yeah, like that's you making a new tradition yeah that is fun.

Ilmz:

That is fun, that's good yeah, and then just like christmas dinner with my flatmate and all our friends, like we were cooking together with her mom, like it's sweet, like life doesn't end when you're single no, it really doesn't. Like I thought. I really thought it was, because it was like obviously, I had one christmas where, when I didn't have my husband, like freshly divorced, that was quite like oh, like a shock. That was such a shock. But that was also like a oh like a shock. That was such a shock. But that was also like a oh my God. Like I have the whole world around me, like and it just gets better. Like last year it was so fine, got closer with my friends. This year I'll be fine, like I'm spending time with you.

Yaz:

You definitely got to lean into, like your friends, your family, you'll always have them, yeah. And if you don't like maybe a pet.

Ilmz:

You'll always have them, you know or smother yourself into work, that kind of thing really, because it is lonely and it is heightened and it is very couple-y yeah you can easily kind of like zone out of all that couple-y pressures when you've got your friends, when you've got your friends, when you've got your family, like you kind of don't care.

Yaz:

It's just when you're like kind of alone or when you're like walking around and you just see couples everywhere, like I think the lead up to christmas day is way worse than actual christmas day being alone or anything 100%, and there's like so much more pressure on the lead up as well by the time it's christmas.

Ilmz:

People are okay, let's get it over with, like everyone is like done like your parents and like your family, like everyone's done with, like the pressure of yeah, everything.

Yaz:

I have a game. Milma, let's play a game, a christmas game. All right, what would you do? Okay, this is the game. What would you do if you broke up? Okay, you and your ex broke up and this is like a fresh breakup, maybe in like two weeks in. Yeah, and you get invited to go to this Christmas party. When you walk in, he's hand in hand with another girl. What would you do? It has to be a quick response Drink, drink, drink. Would you go over? Would you say hi, would you Nothing, just drink?

Ilmz:

Ignore and drink. Ignore and drink. I don't think I'd have it in me to be able to walk up to him and see a new person Like that would actually kill me's. Bad as it is for to see your ex like follow people, new girls, but to see that in person like your replacement kind of what would you do, also, if it was a girl that you had a feeling about before?

Yaz:

see, that would kill me. That would kill me. You know what I would do, though? Then I would walk up. I don't think I would before, but if it was and I had a feeling and she'd been in the lights and I or she'd like seen my story or something, I would probably go up there. Don't have the right to go up there, but I would make yourself known, I would be like.

Ilmz:

Thanks for confirming what I've been on yeah.

Yaz:

yeah, I was gonna go a bit meaner, but I'm not going to say it because Halo.

Ilmz:

Yeah, exactly, I'm the mean one, you're the angel one.

Yaz:

What would you do if you got a drunk text from your ex on Christmas Eve? Would you reply? Would you ignore being like I love you so much, you're the best thing I ever had? And then you reply, or you don't reply and then nothing in the morning. Do you just ignore it? Do you acknowledge that he was drunk? What do you do?

Ilmz:

I'd just give it a like Double tap, double tap and move on. Hashtag women in male fields. Really, what's the point? Yeah, there's just no point.

Yaz:

Yeah, it'd be hard not to. You'd also like see that message and you would be a bit like ooh.

Ilmz:

No, it would definitely like overwhelm you, but like, emotions aside, like really, what is the point?

Yaz:

And then it's more awkward if you reply and he's like sorry, I was drunk yeah, see how embarrassing would that be.

Ilmz:

My ego would not be able to handle that. No, I don't think so. I don't think so either. Would you ever rekindle your romance with an ex during holiday season? Because it's like you, you know he's like single, you're single still so if I was single, would I rekindle?

Yaz:

no really. Yeah, I told you before, if I'm done and I'm actually done, I'm seriously done oh shit, so no rekindling. I mean, maybe if I got dumped and I was like still, you know, hung up on them, yeah then I probably might, in like desperate need to try to, you know, trap him. But if I actually did the dumping or it was seriously done, I wouldn't, would you yeah, context everything?

Ilmz:

probably not. I think now that I'm double therapized. If it were to happen again, I probably would be like look, if we're exes, we're exes for a reason why, why bother? Okay, I've got another one for you. What so, broken up with your ex and you bump into him during christmas shopping, I caught his knee with the shopping cart no, I was gonna say I would probably hide yeah, I would hide. I feel like if I'm doing my christmas shopping, I don't think I'll be looking good yeah and also just like meh.

Yaz:

What would you do if you, you and your ex have broken up, okay, and he then starts like you only broke up for maybe like two weeks and then he gets a new girlfriend, he takes a new girlfriend to his like family home. He's posting photos of it online, all this? What would you do If?

Ilmz:

he had a girlfriend two weeks after. I'm going to assume he was cheating on me.

Yaz:

There must have been a massive overlap what about somebody that's just like very blasé and they're like come with me on holiday, meet my family?

Ilmz:

and the girl's like. To be honest, my ex would pull some shit like that well I feel like it happens, like I feel like that does happen.

Yaz:

What would you do?

Ilmz:

I'd just be like you know what? That's my ex, that's what they do, that's what made you a ransom.

Yaz:

No, like seriously, but it is after two therapists I would be screenshotting it and sending it to my friends, being like the fuck oh, obviously, obviously, I'll be like talking shit about it because it's like the fuck and I would be liking it too. Stuff it really, oh, commenting on it like hashtag women and male feels.

Yaz:

It's such a man thing to do to like it like it and or like comment on it, but not on her instagram, maybe on his, always on his. Yeah, yeah, not the girl, because if she didn't know nothing like this isn't actually her fault. We don't like her still, because you just don't like her.

Yaz:

But that's a hard thing too, I think with a breakup, like it's hard not to blame if the other girl, yeah, the other girl even if it's not right too, because if they generally don't know and they're just the next girl, it's hard but you can't help but think like did she know when she did this to me, or yeah? Even just hate them when they're the new one yeah maybe that's just a me. Thing but like I don't, I really yeah, I don't hate them, but I don't you feel a type of way towards them. It's weird and they could be like the perfect.

Ilmz:

Yeah, they could literally be your best friend yeah, and like they could also just be the perfect girl for your guy and it's like who are we like? Who are we to like? Judge?

Yaz:

yeah, yeah. We need to knock out. We need to take that bad habit and get rid of it. What would you do if your ex asked to meet up with you like hadn't spoken to him, and then asked to meet up with you around the christmas time?

Ilmz:

look, we broke up.

Yaz:

We ended for a reason so no closure conversation around christmas hell no, not during christmas. The only cc's you want is chanel 100, 100.

Ilmz:

No c for closure. I don't need that shit mature.

Yaz:

Yeah, 2024 mature, exactly I would hope so okay, I think we should talk about the breakup diet, survival kit. Fuck yeah, I love that. Yeah, so you're going through a breakup. This is how you're going to handle it over the christmas time. First one don't watch romantic movies. Switch out the romantic. If you want to watch a christmasy movie, watch like home alone, like the elf or something like this. Or if I was, I'd be watching some sort of action spy, not christmassy at all but I love a good psych thriller gone girl.

Ilmz:

Yeah, it's the perfect movie.

Yaz:

Another one would be self-care, but like make it bouj. You know, I'm talking like like light candles, have a like nice bath, maybe some music yeah, something super cute set the lights, make it like more like a hotel experience.

Ilmz:

So it's like elevated so last year during christ because I spent it completely alone in London in my flat I made vision boards for the new year and that just put me in the best headspace. That's a really good idea, Like yeah, yes, I had like a social media vision board and that included a podcast.

Yaz:

Could you imagine that's so cute yeah a podcast.

Ilmz:

Could you imagine that's so cute, yeah, and then like also with like my career with modeling, and like how much money I want to make by the end of the year, which I also like ticked off like, it puts you in the best headspace making a vision board.

Yaz:

That's so good right.

Ilmz:

Like I feel like when I look back into my vision board, you can just make a vision board on the Pinterest app. Um, when I look back at it's like, oh wow, like I've done everything. I look back into my vision board you can just make a vision board on the Pinterest app. When I look back at it, it's like, oh wow, like I've done everything I want to do with my career this year. I've like done all the mental healing. I've traveled exactly everywhere. Like what I wanted to do this year. That's nuts. It's the best way to end the year. And journaling. I love doing year-end debriefs, being like, okay, name two good things that happen to me every month.

Yaz:

I think also with the journaling would be. Fun would be if you are going through a breakup, would be to write down how you feel on the day, but not a reflection, but what you actually feel just on that day. You hate him if you miss him, whatever that kind of thing.

Ilmz:

Oh, 100%. Because it's so good to look back on and see your growth, because this time last year I obviously went through the breakup and I journaled a lot. I still use that journal to this day and I kind of flick back to last year and I'm like, wow, I have grown up so much, oh my gosh, so much has happened, it's better.

Yaz:

It's kind of fun to reread now 100, oh my god. But there are times where, like I think, when I would read the, really sad so much, oh my gosh. So much has happened. It's kind of fun to reread now A hundred percent, oh my God.

Ilmz:

But there are times where, like I think, when I would read the really sad journal entries, I'd be like, oh my God, like as if I went through so much pain Like you really do, like feel bad for like her, even though she like doesn't exist anymore.

Yaz:

Yeah, that's so sad. Actually, did you ever journal your breakup? I didn't. I kind of did, but kind of didn't. If I'm being honest, I I did a little bit, but I more wrote something I was gonna say to him. If I could but didn't actually say it. What else would be another good like survival kit hack? It sounds cringy, but you're like, you got this, or?

Ilmz:

oh, positive affirmations is everything. Like I get through it every day, like I genuinely use it. It's so good for your mind because you can train, like your mind, to not be sad yeah and yeah.

Yaz:

Like, even if you write it on your mirror in like lipstick, people do that like you are enough or something. I've heard that before and it works yeah, make new traditions. So, like your vision board, that would be a new tradition, I think. Or like baking, or like doing friendsgiving kind of fun. I would be saving on tiktok, which it might be like very nowadays. I'd be saving like boss ass songs of like, like women in power, you know, like getting my like she's back.

Yaz:

You know that one yes, that is such a vibe making like some fun, like tiktoks, that even if you don't post them, but like you know, it's just fun for you to get into that like spirit, feel a bit like feeling yourself yeah, because you are that girl. Yeah, yeah, and booking a holiday or thinking, thinking about a holiday. So even if you can't go, booking one of those dream ones like your vision board, that you want to do when you can start messaging up the group chats and say who's down to do this, yeah, yeah, literally, because that makes you fun and excited and like having something to look forward to.

Ilmz:

Like that it just makes you think, like okay, like this is such a temporary chapter in my life, like I have so many exciting things to look forward to. Basically, you need your emergency friend list. If you ever get the thought of wanting to text your ex, that's a good idea.

Yaz:

You text them instead. Also, another thing I would think would be fun would be to play the what if game like we did. It might be a bit time wasting, but it's kind of fun to feel like what would you do if your ex was right there? What would you say? It's kind of like therapy get it out, you know oh, a hundred percent.

Ilmz:

Sometimes you just need to kind of fantasize things just to let go of it.

Yaz:

Okay, so you're in the family situations you know coming around Christmas. I would have some pre-thought of things that I would be saying if you know you don't want to have that conversation about why you're single or why you broke up, I would be like no, uncle Jerry, sorry, like my stomach really hurts because I'm on my period right now so I got to go, or I don't know. Mom really needs help with the potatoes.

Ilmz:

You know you got to have your exit route. Oh yeah, you definitely need your exit plan, with the families asking you all these questions.

Yaz:

And even maybe you tell your mom or your dad or your sister or whoever if you can like trust them with that and be like, can you help me if I get stuck, because it's a really tough time for me to whoever, who's single, you've got this you've got this and good luck and merry christmas guys.

People on this episode

Head Shot

Ilma Shahrene

Co-host
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Yasmin Misner

Co-host