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The Break-Up Diet
Welcome to The Break Up Diet—your weekly dose of self-improvement, glow-ups, and everything breakups (yes, not just the romantic ones). Hosted by Yasmin and Ilma, we’re your no-BS besties here to guide you through every type of breakup—whether it’s from a person, a toxic cycle, or even your old self.
We’re flipping the breakup narrative.
No more heartbreak—just transformation. No more setbacks—only glow-ups. Breakups are the ultimate opportunity to level up, and we’re here to help you do exactly that. Whether it's navigating friendships, situationships, or even kicking bad habits (we see you, vaping!), we’ve got the raw, real talk to help you rebuild and thrive.
Grab your seat, darlings—this is where the best version of YOU begins.
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The Break-Up Diet
Made in Chelsea Star Amelia Mist Reveals How Ignoring Red Flags Led to a DEVASTATING Breakup!
"The amount of times I was convulsing, werewolf-style in the shower..." These raw, vulnerable words capture the excruciating pain that follows the end of a five-year relationship built on shaky foundations. This episode offers a searingly honest conversation about love, betrayal, and the difficult journey back to self-worth.
Our guest reveals how she documented red flags just eight months into her relationship – writing letters she never sent but kept as evidence of behavior she couldn't quite face at the time. Looking back, she sees how placing her entire purpose in another person led to losing herself completely. The relationship had evolved past casual dating into shared property, a countryside home, and even adopting a dog together – making the eventual breakup all the more devastating.
We explore the modern relationship challenges social media creates, with our guest passionately explaining why liking provocative photos constitutes a clear boundary violation. "Don't put your finger on the double tap," she advises men in relationships, highlighting how these seemingly small actions reveal deeper issues of respect.
What makes this conversation particularly valuable is witnessing someone in the active process of healing. Having broken up just months prior to recording, our guest speaks with remarkable clarity about her journey – from inconsolable grief to emerging self-awareness. Her advice for those in the trenches of heartbreak is practical: limit drinking to avoid emotional spiraling, cut nights short before impulsive decisions happen, seek refuge in nature, and focus on rebuilding your independent identity.
This episode offers a compassionate roadmap for anyone who's stayed too long in a relationship that wasn't serving them. Listen now to explore the complex emotions of heartbreak and discover how even the most painful endings can lead to powerful new beginnings.
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Okay, welcome, amelia. Thank you for coming on the Breakup Diet. Would you like to introduce yourself, oh?
Amelia:yeah absolutely. I wasn't prepared to introduce myself. However, hello, who am I talking to?
Yaz:You can talk to me. I'm the only other person in here, no, but you know me kind of, yeah, but we want to know more.
Amelia:Okay, I don't really know how to introduce myself, because five years ago I was somebody totally different to who I am now changing. Changing are you?
Yaz:upgrading, oh, upgrading automatically. You see, that's a massive theme in the break of diet actually. Okay, good, you know, you're changing, you're upgrading, you're letting go of the old hello in with the new, exactly independent boss bitch now.
Amelia:So you have a concierge yeah lifestyle management, luxury lifestyle management, and then um did a little bit of reality tv back in the day, which makes me cringe to this day, um, which has given me the platform. That's probably why I'm here right now, maybe have you?
Yaz:did you have any breakups when you're on reality tv or no?
Amelia:do you know what? Yes, yes, kind of two buckle up bitches.
Yaz:This is gonna get bumpy.
Amelia:This is the breakup diet up diet like one, which was I was coming on to it, and then the next one I had like this very much fling on and off camera, and then as soon as, um, I just fizzled out and then it was just awkward on camera and that was it, and then bye, bye I feel like I feel like the way to get in on that show is by is, yeah, by being in a relationship or being with somebody, and then they introduce you.
Yaz:For sure, but then to stay on the show, you kind of have to have a breakup, yeah, because it's like all those types of stuff, like all reality. I feel like if you're the villain, you normally do the best.
Amelia:Yeah, for sure, and I definitely was not the villain. I was always the peacemaker, peacemaker, peacemaker, um, and I think that's why I was on it, maybe for longer than expected. It was just, I was um, definitely an alternative to the rest fair, and then you've stopped doing that.
Amelia:Now, though, yeah, stopped it. I think I stopped doing that like four years ago. Life has gone so fast. That's crazy when you actually think about it, like all of my life is a blur, probably because I had a five-year relationship in between that time. So, yeah, can you tell us?
Yaz:about that. I mean, that's why I'm here.
Amelia:Yeah, that is one of the reasons you're here yeah, it is because I have great insight to share about relationships and no crucifying the ex, just talking about a little bit. I'll give you. I'll give you little snippets, but not to expose anybody in any party unless you did something bad, then we expose it yeah, I'll do my best not to. I've only had two glasses of bubbles and I'm like slipping in my mouth.
Yaz:So you've had that. Was that your main like breakup that you would say is the worst one you've gone through?
Amelia:yeah, I'd say, I'd say that is my only breakup, realistically can you tell me more?
Yaz:did you guys live together? Yeah oh gosh, okay, so that was. It was a serious breakup oh for sure, we.
Amelia:I haven't really told you much about it, but basically we we met when I was on the show and I was like three years deep in the show. So I was very much like living my best life. I wasn't expecting to meet anybody, it was fun. Um, I was with all my best friends and we were just, yeah, having fun. And then I met him at a his birthday party as a plus one and it was very much like, oh, this could have been perfect. This is it. This is this is like fate, this is meant to be?
Yaz:did you get into a relationship really fast or did you kind of like have a situation ship and then it formed? Do you know?
Amelia:what he very much. I will confidently say this, that we very much did really like each other, but I would say he very much. He's going to cringe if he's listening to this. So fate, some would say. Some would say the worst decision the wasted five years again.
Amelia:I'm sorry so never waste just the journey and lesson. So met there and then, to be honest, it is a blur because when you are so consumed in something a lot of alcohol was consumed, a lot of, you know, going out having fun and obviously I was filming a tv show, which was great. In that moment I kind of blurred like all of the problems out and I actually found a letter yesterday when I was sorting out my bedroom in my country home. So finding out and I was reading through all of the things that I wrote to him never gave to him that's a good tip actually.
Amelia:So you were, when you were in the relationship, you were like writing letters, yeah when you were annoyed about something well, it was like every time that he'd do something quite terrible, yeah, quite terrible then you would just jot it down yeah, I would write it down and then I'd think that I was going to give it to him, but then this so happens.
Amelia:Normally I would, but this piece of paper it's really weird timing actually. I'm talking about it today and literally read it yesterday Fate, it was, fate, it was fate. I love this, I love this video Shit. But I was reading it and like 20 bullet points of just and I think that was really early on, I was like a year and the shit that I read on it.
Yaz:I was just like wow, were they all the points that came back at the end?
Amelia:Yeah, and I was just like. You did this to me, you did this to me and, bearing in mind, this was like eight to eight months, probably not even eight months into our relationship and all of this shit happened.
Yaz:I was like, I feel like a lot of the time people don't realize.
Yaz:But well, like they realize after. It's like the reflection is when they go into the relationship they see the red flags and they're like, oh my god, like that's not okay. But then you fall deeper and deeper and you get so much history that then you then just kind of forget it and then when you break up, it's actually those points that you've put or thought of yeah, because you just sort of block it out, because that's just the coping mechanism, because you're, you're in la la land and you think, okay, this is the best thing for me.
Amelia:I'm going, I'm like super happy, don't get me wrong. There were many moments in that relationship I was extraordinarily happy and I can't like dismiss those um. But you do look back at it and I blame myself, partly because of my probably where I was in life.
Yaz:I was not confident, I was very insecure, I was very um is your first boyfriend yeah, I would say yeah, yeah, proper boyfriend it's easy to just want it to work so bad as well, because if it's taken you so long to find that one person, you almost latch onto it for sure, toxic trauma bond completely and it also completely goes back to like childhood and like how you were.
Amelia:I'm not going to talk about childhood.
Amelia:But here we go but it's all relative and, like everybody, every emotion you felt as a child, be it with friendships or in like family and relationships within the family and your friendships and everything. It's all relative to how you are as a person and definitely inflicted on how I was, but in my opinion, like having your career set straight and having like that focus where you're passionate and independent with something. I wasn't passionate or independent because I was off living my best life and that was like my relationship was in the background and I'm not saying I was 100% clean, but also it's just like two people who are both clearly like clashing but also love each other so intensely made it really toxic and that was that it. I was fucking nuts.
Yaz:So you were like five years. Were you like living together the whole five years, or did you have like a year apart and then you moved in? Or was it all quite like rapid it was? Do you know?
Amelia:what I? I can't remember. What do we do? You can't remember when you moved in. No, no, why are you blanking? I know, because I'm like whoa, because I you're having like a weird flashback you blank things out and you're like what?
Amelia:I don't remember that part of my life that's really, really, really stressed yeah, yeah, fuck, I think I so I'd always have my own flat. He'd has had his own flat, he had his flat with his brother, so he would always basically be with me. He's really gonna know it's about, obviously, who else is it gonna be about?
Yaz:um, I think if he watches this he's gonna know I think it's already up by the five years by the only first serious boyfriend. You're like, oh my god, is he gonna know?
Amelia:it's me I promise you, this isn't for you, this is for me, okay we're on the therapy.
Yaz:We're having therapy.
Amelia:Yeah, so yeah, I'd always have my own flat. He would live with his brother and I, like we'd always be around each other's houses and we'd always go to the countryside I'm not going to say where Nearly to the country side, to the country side, to Dorset, and then to Dorset, and then we ended up actually that was probably about two years in, but we'd spend like every other day, but I'd say that was probably lack of trust as well, that we'd want, I'd want to be with him the whole time, but I know that we'd go out partying, we'd have such fun time and we'd spend the weekend just being hung over in each other's houses so really officially, but you were always together, yeah, always together.
Yaz:Actually, I'd say it's probably that, yeah, two years, so you wanted to be with him all the time because you basically like.
Amelia:This is me blunt saying it like you basically thought that if you're with him, you can't be with somebody else yeah, and there were many men no, I wasn't gonna say this. Um, there were many, many times where he was with somebody else and that also, yeah, scandalous but yeah, okay, so actually to be fair, your feelings were valid yeah, my feelings were very bad. I was never a lunatic before. I was so chilled and I was just like do what you want, babe, go for it. Actually do that. They're like oh, she's so crazy.
Yaz:I'm like, yeah, because you made her crazy. Yeah for sure, I don't know who I am anymore no no, you're evolved since here. This, this, you're talking about the trenches yeah, yeah, we're out of the trenches.
Amelia:That is so true. We are out of the trenches.
Yaz:You moved in together. Is that when it kind of went bad?
Amelia:No, it was great when we were living together, but it was continuously bad but continuously good. So that's why it was confusing, because you crave it. It's all to do with, like serotonin and endorphins. Serotonin and endorphins it's like you crave the really um, good times and you're like when, when something goes really, really bad, it's like, whoa, this is like so adrenaliney and you're like, whoa, it's so bad. And then you're like, oh, it's gonna be fine again, and then your serotonin drops and then you crave that person again.
Yaz:So did you ever think that when you had those bad times previously, like within the relationship, that it was actually over, or you kind of always, in the back of your head, was like nah?
Amelia:exactly. I was always like we're gonna get back together this way, but I've never had that. Really, whenever, whenever I've had something like.
Yaz:It's been really bad. I thought it was over over, really yeah that strength though I don't think so. No, I didn't have any strength in that moment. I could you. I was crying in my shower like a werewolf, but I no, like you know, the very in-the-gut cry. Yeah, Like you're just going to like flinch away.
Amelia:Yeah, that's sad, are you okay?
Yaz:I'm okay, now I haven't had that in a long time, but that's good. I haven't had the like toxic as such.
Amelia:Yeah, but it's amazing how life is when you're not in a toxic cycle and you feel way calmer as a person for sure everybody's like you're so different. I was like that's probably because I'm back to who I was originally, with a little bit more confidence and independence and a mentality where I am not going to tolerate bullshit anymore. Ended up getting a house near my parents' home in the countryside With him. With him, but he, you know, funded it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we got a dog, my little baby Humphrey.
Yaz:Oh, okay, so you guys have a dog together? I'll have what happens with, like the dog, when you break up.
Amelia:Well, this is a juicy goss. Apparently he's got a new girlfriend.
Yaz:It's only been three months yeah, but that's not my question. My question was about the dog you wanted to drop that in no, no it's relative.
Amelia:Um, he has a new. No, no, so the dog. Since the supposed new girlfriend has been in the picture. There has been no communication about wanting to see the dog at all since the new new girlfriend has been in the picture. There has been no communication about wanting to see the dog at all since the new girlfriend. Okay, so the dog is fully mine now. Okay, and if you would like to see him, his mum has a brother as well. Where are you going with this, I don't know. So if you want to see him, you can see him, okay. So, wait, we're doing. I'm just going to have a drink.
Yaz:Cheers. Okay, cheers, we'll have a drink. Love you, love you. The dog basically has now just become yours. Has that always been the case, or did you kind of before use the dog as a bit of a thing to see him?
Amelia:Yeah, yes, thank you, humphrey. It bit of a thing to see him. Yeah, yes, thank you. Um, it would be, but I think it was mutual. We both wanted to still see each other here. I go again off on a tangent london is a huge factor in in a relationship.
Yaz:Yeah, I think, did it make your relationship bad? Do you think yeah?
Amelia:because that's why we sort of migrated on the weekends to the countryside.
Yaz:It was great oh, so you migrated in the weekend to the countryside in the week you were here. Yeah, exactly, okay, so, and that didn't help at all the relationship.
Amelia:Yeah it did. Yeah, but I think my insecurity and my yeah, I think I was just extremely insecure and that sort of completely affected the relationship. He could have been doing everything right and I still would think he'd be doing something wrong.
Yaz:Do you think that's because at the start he broke the trust?
Amelia:Yeah, no, I'm contending. Yeah, but when it's broken at the start it kind of is hard.
Yaz:Yeah, and then if it keeps, going all the different start, it kind of is hard, yeah, and then if it keeps going all the different things, you kind of remember everything. Yeah, I feel like women remember a lot. Like I will remember everything that's ever happened and I will bring it up. Yeah, if something pisses me off, it will be coming up in the like file.
Amelia:Yeah, you're like, all right, let's go to pause 2021.
Yaz:They're like all right, let's go to Claws, Let me 2021.
Amelia:Outside raffles I saw you do a little bit.
Yaz:You did this and then in 2022, you did this Exactly. Yeah, do you think men do the same thing?
Amelia:Yes, you think they remember I did something wrong at the beginning and it was two, three weeks in, and that's been used against me forever and that was his excuse for every single time he did it to me.
Yaz:Okay, yeah, that's not fair. Yeah, I'll leave that one there. So you broke up after you guys had a house together and you like all that. So why do you think, if you said that it got a bit better escaping to the countryside, why do you think that you actually had a breakup? I or how long were you in the country before you had a breakup? Like three years or two years or?
Amelia:probably two years. Yeah, we're doing it all up together and it was so nice and I think like we'd go, we'd go out for the day, you know, the hut on the Isle of Wight, and it was like we'd go out for the day. We go there and we'd just get, you know, really pissed, and we'd have friends there and it would just turn like I was super like, looking over my shoulder every two seconds, and then I'd be like what's he doing? And he would be being inappropriate, everybody's whispering in my ear, being like this is so unacceptable. But then I'm like, but I know him, it's fine, I'll move past it, always trying to figure out the best thing.
Yaz:And then it would go back home and then it would just explode and it would just be so bad do you think, when you um like the other people's influence was the hard thing being like, oh, that's not okay, because obviously nobody else is in the relationship but only you two are. But it's actually. It's quite easy to have other people say things and then you'd be like, oh my god, yeah, that's not okay yeah, I'm quite a receptive listener, like I'm like gosh, because I need to bring that up now yeah, yeah, because things stay on my mind and if I don't say something, then I'm I'm very stubborn like I.
Amelia:If it's on my mind, it will be spoken about and discussed, and I'm very good at like sort of discussing things.
Yaz:However, when you're when you're pissed off and you're drunk and you- know, but when you drink as well, it also comes out in the wrong way, completely even if like, even if you're slightly annoyed yeah it like boils, and then it comes out really bad like what are you talking to?
Amelia:but again, it's relative, like I'm sure everybody's gone through the liking of the girls photos, half-naked bikini photos. For me that was like the very beginning thing and I was sort of like that's a boundary that I actually didn't realise I have, but that is like you don't do that, yeah, and then every time.
Yaz:How did you bring that up at the start? How did you bring that up that you didn't like?
Amelia:that I didn't really care at the beginning and then I was like this is actually really inappropriate. Like it. It is like why do you need to like? Like you may see it, but you don't need to tell them that you're enjoying it.
Yaz:Yeah, you can have a wink over it. Yeah, like I don't want to know about that shit, like just don't like it exactly.
Amelia:It's not that hard like don't put your finger on the double tap exactly because, girls, I'm sure you're aware like if a guy in a relationship starts like your boobie pictures I don't know, you obviously don't post them. But like if you're in a bikini, whatever, that I don't like that.
Yaz:I don't think you should be doing that no, because you look at the guy and you're like, wow, you're, that's like I'm posting a provocative photo, but then I'm also in the other.
Yaz:I've been on the other side of being like whenever I've posted like something, maybe like a bikini picture or something not that I really do, but whenever I post something I think it's a bit like oh, I do it more actually for girls yeah me too, and also to feel good in my own myself, because I'm like I'm similar in the space that I was really not confident in everything for so many years, probably when you first met me, and then, like now, I've worked so hard at trying to like feel good in my body that if I feel really good in a photo, I'm going to post it.
Amelia:Absolutely. I am doing it because I want people to like my friends. I have a lot of guy friends as well. I'm like I'm in a good place, like I'm really excited about life and where life is going right now. I'm gonna post a photo and I feel good in it. And if I feel good, my friends like fucking post it, like do it. I'm gonna post it and I don't need some sleazy man with a like long-term girlfriend liking my half, like my bikini photos, please, please stop.
Yaz:Yeah, it is just bad, because the girls that are single, if they're either like, oh, I could sneak in, or you're my reserve for when I break up with my girlfriend. Like you're on the reserve that's what I always think I'm like yeah, you're like lining the ducks up.
Yaz:Yeah, I'm still thinking about you, don't worry, and it's like I don't want you to think about me but that's how I feel they might not be thinking it no, no, no, I agree, I feel like a lot of people would agree with that yeah wait. So how long ago did you have this breakup?
Amelia:don't know them. November, end of October. Fuck, I didn't realize it was that. That's quite close. Yeah, it's extremely close actually.
Yaz:Shit, I'm bored, I'm fucked, but I swear I saw you and you.
Amelia:Let me tell you, let me tell you, let me tell you.
Yaz:We might have to pause, pause, pause, pause, pause, pause, pause.
Amelia:Because that would be fucked.
Yaz:Okay, now that we have the little pause to work out the timeline.
Amelia:Oh yeah timeline up.
Yaz:You broke up in an undisclosed date because we don't need to give that. Thank you, because obviously you kind of built a life together. Like you know, having a country house for me that screams like adulting you know forever, yeah, a country house a dog. That's like the step before babies. How did that feel?
Amelia:you know, losing that person that was literally the most painful thing I've ever like. That pain, oh my god oh you're gonna cry. I'm over it. That pain a year ago to where I am now fuck me that pain. I like convulsing, like the amount of times, like werewolf yeah, werewolf vibe werewolf shower.
Yaz:It's such a good.
Amelia:It's such a good description of what it's like that was the most painful pains, where I would literally just be I. I refused to move out at first because I was like no, this isn't happening. Then I actually started talking to this other guy quite quickly and I really liked him was that to try to distract yourself from like everything? I think so. But then at same time I was so angry with him and so distraught and I was like, how can you do?
Yaz:that to me.
Amelia:C-H-E-A-T on me so many fucking times. The whole thing is just like a nutty thing to even like. Do yeah, and like to even imagine.
Yaz:Especially like when you have a dog together and you have a house together. You just don't you can't really understand how, yeah, you could do that and then still want to be with you.
Amelia:Come back home to me after you've done all that shit like I don't know how.
Yaz:I don't know how men in general and also women, to be honest, like men, women and men cheat yeah, I always slandered definitely women, cheat, definitely all right, like always slandered, like we always slander men on here, but actually women do do it too. Yeah, and it's so sad because it's so normalized. Now I feel Like a guy if they cheat.
Amelia:It's to get their dick wet.
Yaz:I mean, yeah, that is a definition of cheating, you know what?
Amelia:I mean yeah, whereas women are probably not getting anything wet sorry it's too.
Yaz:I think it's just our generation. With social media having so much access to, like beautiful people and it's so easy to see what people are up to and slide in oh yeah, that that's a very good point.
Amelia:Actually, social media is a huge aspect of yeah, because you could just like the photo and that's initiate.
Yaz:That's saying to the girl oh, I think you're pretty exactly, and then she could slide in. Or if you slid in, even with, like, a high emoji, it's like it's like liking stories as well.
Amelia:The girlfriend will never know if you're liking a girl.
Yaz:I have somebody yeah, I might actually put his name in here, because it's fucking bad and it's bad. So he has had a long-term girlfriend for, like I'm talking, seven years here, every time I post a photo of my face my ex-best friend yeah, utter horrible. No offense to him. Horrible person because he's had a girlfriend for a long time and for years, not just once years. He'll like my photo every single time I'm in it no so like, like, I post my dog, but like doesn't get anything I post a view doesn't get anything as soon as I'm in it, which is quite rare.
Amelia:Now that I put something up, he will like it, but it's so weird and I'm like get a job, literally like it's weird, it's uncomfortable as well, because they think oh my god, they must love it that I'm giving them attention.
Yaz:We don't fucking like it no, I just think that you're a scumbag, yeah it's it's filthy, it's actually grotesque and I also feel really bad for the girl because I'm like your guy is an actual dirtbag yeah and it makes me sad.
Yaz:And if I was close to the girl I would say something yeah, but I don't know her, she's not my friend, she's nothing like she's. To be honest. If I ran into her in the street maybe I'd say it, but not, no, it's not. It's not correct for me to go out of my way and message exactly, but if I'm one of them. I know that there's probably about 10 fuck, and I'm like. I'm just like, come on why you're a pussy number one.
Yaz:Just stop and also, you're a pussy number one. You know why? Because you won't break up with your girlfriend, but you obviously don't respect her it is respect which is complete lack of lust and sexual. Obviously everybody finds somebody attractive, but I don't think it's possible that somebody could just be with one woman and not have the urge to be with somebody else in you don't think any men do that honestly.
Amelia:That's your I'd say probably about eight percent of the whole population, and that is fucked and that's generous yeah, that's very generous. No, I know that is generous but, I do find. I think that the human brain, human, human, human brain actually doesn't allow male minds, unless they've just been like, unless it is just a societal expectation where men just have that belief and that's just what they've grown up with. I don't know, no but.
Yaz:But I don't think if they had a sister they wouldn't want it for their sister.
Amelia:They wouldn't want it for their sister, but they still did it.
Yaz:Yeah, they wouldn't expect it for their sister.
Amelia:Exactly.
Yaz:So I don't think so. I feel like there are very few good men, but I feel like men maybe have too much opportunity now and they just can't help exactly it's opportunity, so do you think alcohol like aided the breakup yeah, yeah, I'd say it's definitely a huge part of it.
Amelia:But then we stopped, stopped drinking as much and limited it to one day a week and then kind of got a bit bored of it fair, fair.
Yaz:It's hard if you start off doing one thing and then you stop doing that.
Amelia:I think we were connected by going out and having a fucking sick time and like enjoying each other's company. And then when you take away that we loved each other's company and we loved like the wholesome vibes but we just we didn't you needed some other situation, it was just like I'm not, don't know this, but the sex was shit and I literally say pump, pump, pass out.
Yaz:And so you said that you were a bit rocking up and down and up and down. How did you actually decide, like I've had enough, you know, I don't want to do this anymore, or was like a mutual thing of you both were just tired of the arguments, tired of everything?
Amelia:I think I think it was kind of mutual. I would say so I didn't have the strength to end it because I was so attached when you come from a fast-paced fun tv show and you are like expected to be on there for continuing it and then it just goes silent and then your relationship turns to shit and you're like what's my purpose? And then like my purpose changed into him. Yeah, and that that, to me, is crazy to look back on because I'm like I have so much to give, like why was I even considering that as, like my purpose?
Yaz:but you also, as a I feel like as a woman, you want to. You want to do that too, like you purpose, but you also, I feel like, as a woman, you want to do that too, like you want to take on the nurturing role, and it is quite. It is nice, because if you are getting things in return of like feeling, like wanted and stuff you do, you do do that, yeah, for sure.
Amelia:Setting your priorities in order and making sure that you have like your own goals and like purpose is really important, because that can be controlled and dictated by the other person very easily. That's some advice.
Yaz:When you said at the start that you would write down things, how did you learn how to do that and like know that that was a good thing or that was just like intuition? You were like I'm going to jot down these points so I don't forget them, or?
Amelia:just because I block out so much from like trauma, I think it's trauma that I would just forget things. So I had to write them down so that I didn't forget them and I needed to remind myself if this happens again. This, this, this happened. I could go into so much did you put?
Yaz:did you put that in like a?
Amelia:diary or something or notes that it was just literally and also also, I think like really authentic sort of like communication is by writing letters and like I was like to him that if I'd love a little letter if you, if you're fucking up like write me a letter and tell me how you feel and actually spend time to think about how you feel and write it down and reflect on it like for somebody going through a breakup.
Yaz:Do you have a tip of like what they could do that would really help, or that helped you, or something you heard honestly, or nothing? You just was tired, no.
Amelia:I think it's so bizarre, though, because if you spoke to me three months ago or a year ago, like my, my advice would be completely irrational. But I think you do genuinely need to take, like remove yourself from any, any situation that you could be negatively impacted by. Like going out and drinking, having a fun time with your friends within reason. Cut it off at 10 o'clock. Don't. Don't waste your energy having a like huge bender and then getting back and then crying and crippling and wanting to call them and also remove again. Removing yourself by taking yourself to the countryside, going for nice walks, getting some fresh air.
Yaz:It's so cliche, but it really does work it seems like you had quite a like rough kind of up and down, a bit of a toxic super highs, but then also a lot of lows. Do you regret anything that you did?
Amelia:that's a good one. Yes, I do, I definitely do. I regret again, coming from an older person now, from when I was like young, early 20s, to older 20s now I don't know if that makes sense. I definitely regret how I handled situations, how, I don't know if that makes sense. I definitely regret how I handled situations, how I didn't walk away from situations much sooner than I should have and how little self-worth I had. And I regret I don't regret the relationship because I love, I still love the fact that I had such a great relationship, such a terrible, a terrible one. But yeah, that's my regrets.
Yaz:It's my own inhibition, not inhibitions, but own shit that I did and you, but like it's easy to think about all the bad stuff, but there's obviously would have been good stuff that came from it too, like as in confidence, he probably boosted you in that regard a bit.
Amelia:You know what I mean for sure yeah, so he, he met, he did good stuff for you as well definitely, and I I didn't know where my journey was going and he directed me. He was like you've got the power to start your own business, go for it.
Yaz:And I think that's really nice to think about too. So it's not just all of a negative thing. Obviously you've grown and you've developed into a very lovely lady. Oh, thank you it might have been super hard, but now looking back on it, it's kind of funny a breakup, because your emotions change. Even you said like within months you know from three months ago, you probably would have had a very different chat with me than you are having now. Yeah, thank fuck that you didn't ask me on like three months ago, because it is weird.
Yaz:They change and I think that's okay, like people kind of stress about you know, you once said this and all this. But you evolve, you change, you get different information. You maybe just like accept it. It really depends on what stage.
Amelia:You are for sure so you think you can be friends no, not your ex if it's like a situationship yes, if you five years give it and you see somebody out. He once cared about a lot. Obviously it might be a little bit of sexual energy, but do you think?
Yaz:that that still happens after yeah, like it's like really I don't know, sometimes it's forbidden fruit and it's like, oh, so you think if you see an ex out it's like a proper boyfriend.
Amelia:It's a bit of like there's still sexual tension yeah really not a proper boyfriend, but like a fling, oh, fling, yeah. Like when you had a fling with somebody and you see them and you're like, oh, that didn't end great, but look at me, now you're're fit, let's go.
Yaz:But what if it wasn't proper?
Amelia:If it was proper, then I'd literally run a mile.
Yaz:Yeah.
Amelia:I wouldn't Close. You can't see what I'm doing, but I'm scissoring them shut.
Yaz:So if proper wrecks, you're never having sex with them again. I knew I was going to get you. You caught me. You fucking caught me. You know that I'm just. I knew you were like Well, if we're going to put it like that, yes, okay, basically.
Amelia:Probably would bonk the old ex, but there we go. The number doesn't count it doesn't count, if no one knows. Thank you so much for coming on the makeup diet and being so vulnerable and sharing all your insights yeah, it takes one to get out of me, but here we are, you made it. I don't know how you managed to. Actually, I do know how you managed to get out of me alcohol.
Yaz:Thank you.
Amelia:Thank you.
