.jpeg)
The Break-Up Diet
Welcome to The Break Up Diet—your weekly dose of self-improvement, glow-ups, and everything breakups (yes, not just the romantic ones). Hosted by Yasmin and Ilma, we’re your no-BS besties here to guide you through every type of breakup—whether it’s from a person, a toxic cycle, or even your old self.
We’re flipping the breakup narrative.
No more heartbreak—just transformation. No more setbacks—only glow-ups. Breakups are the ultimate opportunity to level up, and we’re here to help you do exactly that. Whether it's navigating friendships, situationships, or even kicking bad habits (we see you, vaping!), we’ve got the raw, real talk to help you rebuild and thrive.
Grab your seat, darlings—this is where the best version of YOU begins.
Accounts:
TikTok- @thebreakupdiet
Instagram- @the_breakup_diet
The Break-Up Diet
Seb Melrose On Breakups, Betrayal & Dating After Reality TV
"What's for you won't go by you," shares Seb Melrose as we dive into the messy, transformative world of breakups from a refreshingly honest male perspective. Our conversation takes unexpected turns as Seb vulnerably recounts discovering an ex-girlfriend's infidelity through an STI diagnosis—a rock-bottom moment that paradoxically set him on a path toward greater self-confidence and purpose.
The episode unpacks fascinating gender differences in breakup processing. While women typically fight to salvage relationships long past their expiration date, Seb suggests men are more pragmatic about cutting ties when relationships no longer serve them. This difference creates interesting tensions in how we approach relationship endings and the emotional aftermath that follows.
Faith emerges as a surprising cornerstone of Seb's healing journey. Through a beautiful metaphor comparing himself to a dog on God's leash, he explains how spirituality provided the foundation for his resilience: "I know what God has for me is way better than what's right now." This perspective transformed his experience of heartbreak from one of devastating loss to one of redirection toward something better.
Perhaps most powerfully, Seb reveals how breakups catalyzed personal transformation—from fitness improvements to launching a new business venture and becoming more discerning about who deserves his time. His journey demonstrates how relationship endings, though painful, often unlock our greatest potential for growth and self-discovery.
Whether you're currently nursing a broken heart or trying to understand past relationship patterns, this episode offers wisdom, laughter, and a roadmap for turning heartbreak into breakthrough. Listen now and discover why the end of a relationship might just be the beginning of your best chapter yet.
Instagram:
@the_breakup_diet
TikTok:
@thebreakupdiet
Email: thebreakupdietpodcast@gmail.com
Welcome back to another episode of the Breakup Diet. We've got a really sexy guest today, which is why I have my shoulders out Introducing Seb Melrose. How are you?
Seb:I'm good, I'm blushing, already Come on, I'm good, never better.
Yaz:Oh God Ilma, you're so intense. I love it. I love it. I'll be like the sexiest podcast of Bjorn.
Seb:What a compliment. There you go. What's sexy about the sexiest podcast I've?
Yaz:been on. What a compliment.
Seb:There you go.
Ilmz:What's sexy about?
Yaz:it. Oh my God, stop fishing, you are next level? I don't know, I'll tell you later, okay so we're obviously having you on, because we would like to get the male perspective and hear about what you think about breakups.
Seb:Well, I'm quite the connoisseur of breakups actually, so you've had a lot. For some reason I'm good at them. I don't know if that's good or bad, but yeah, no, I think breakups are good.
Seb:I think they're healthy why, uh, because I feel like that what's for you won't go by you, and if someone's not right for you, then like it's, there's no point wasting your time, right? So when you break up, it teaches you. After a breakup, you're always left with a lesson. So the more lessons you have, surely the better you get buckle up, bitches, it's gonna get bumpy.
Ilmz:This is the breakup diet men don't tend to stick around in relationships that no longer serve them, which I kind of admire. Sometimes they go about it in shitty ways but, when men don't feel it, they just leave, as opposed to women me like yeah, we keep trying. We try to like fight for it yeah men are like okay, this isn't working, like, let me move on.
Seb:I don't know, I think I think you're right as like a whole. I think you're right, like the majority of men probably do just boost but boost boost. Yeah, I've never heard that. Yeah, or they just boost, like I just boost that means get out, but yeah, yeah no, but like I don't know, I've tried to make things work, you know, in the past and stuff, but there was one particular relationship that I tried so hard and it was really like, do you call it flogging a dead horse? Oh god yeah what does that mean?
Yaz:exactly when you keep like trying to make it work, but it's like it's done.
Seb:I had one relationship right where, like oh, she was cheating on me constant.
Ilmz:Oh, no Woman in male field.
Yaz:Yeah, yeah, I know yeah no, did you see it coming?
Seb:Uh well, I was. I think I was kind of oblivious to it because her mum called me like crying, being like, oh, don't believe her, like, don't believe, like what everyone's saying. There's just jealousy in a relationship. I was only like, I think I was 19. Still coming out my ugly face.
Yaz:So you can imagine I was still a bit vulnerable, you were vulnerable, vulnerable I was still a bit vulnerable.
Seb:Oh no, this is fucking hilarious.
Ilmz:When does it get funny?
Seb:I'm crying, no wait, there's a punchline, there's a punch. So.
Yaz:She hit you back up later. What's that? She hit you back up later when you came out the ugly face. No, actually, it's the only ex.
Seb:It's the only ex that didn't hit me back up. Oh, she was done, which is weird, I didn't hit her up either, to be fair, but usually the exes always hit you back up, but she didn't near to die.
Ilmz:That's kind of beautiful on its own. No, it's not.
Seb:No, let me tell you the story. She was not that nice. So I heard about the rumours about her cheating right and I got sent a picture of her cuddling her ex Like cuddling her ex on like a sunbed right Because they went like on holiday.
Yaz:They went on holiday. Just those two, or like a group no a group.
Ilmz:So were you aware of the dynamics?
Seb:I think so.
Yaz:So they were like friends.
Seb:I think I was yeah, friendly friends, yeah, but how oblivious was I back then? Right, it's because I really tried with this particular girlfriend, because the last one I cheated on and I told you about this a little bit. But basically I was a very ugly kid, grew up, got a little bit better looking just a little bit at that time, and this bless her. But this ex I was like 17 and she stuck with me when I was ugly, I got good looking and then I just I boosted. I didn't get that, I didn't get good.
Yaz:That sounds horrible right, you're like, you're with me for the up your sessions, like no, but I didn't know how to deal with, like the. You know the the transition the what transition transition?
Seb:from ugly nothing. Yeah, yeah, no. But we said, what was it not the, the attention? Yeah uh, so the attention started coming, drips and drabs and um, I was like just by going out couldn't say no yeah just kind of by going out and like I felt like wow, I'm not used to this, I was always friend zoned.
Yaz:I sound like a right dickhead right now and I was back then, I suppose.
Seb:Anyway, moved on to the next girlfriend because I actually finished with a girl that I kept cheating on, because I told her I was like I keep cheating on you, you keep taking me back and I've lost respect now and like I just I know you're a nice girl, like she was a lovely girl wait, so you told her.
Yaz:Why did you tell her?
Seb:I felt really guilty like I've still. I still had shame, I still shame.
Yaz:So you told her and then you kept trying to make it work basically.
Seb:She kept saying, oh, are you going to do it again? I was like no.
Yaz:Did you think that you weren't going to do it, or you knew no?
Seb:I genuinely thought I wasn't going to do it again. Have you guys ever cheated before?
Yaz:No, you liar, I'm not, I'm not.
Seb:You liar, I'm not, I'm not really I'm not.
Yaz:I'm not lying, I haven't cheated.
Seb:Okay, I believe you now but at first, when you said no, I thought liar no, I haven't. I believe you now you, yeah, tell me, did you like tell him? I never get caught oh shit, no, that's a lie. I feel like everyone always somehow gets caught.
Yaz:It might not be straight away, but I think it does come out.
Seb:Have you never been caught?
Ilmz:No, I've never been caught.
Seb:Which boyfriend was it?
Ilmz:For legal reasons, I can't disclose.
Seb:Oh, recent or.
Yaz:No, it wasn't recent, was it Because your divorce was a while ago?
Seb:Oh, sorry, oh, is that not on the knowledge For?
Ilmz:legal reasons Okay.
Yaz:Yeah so, okay, yeah, yeah so you feel guilty.
Seb:I want to understand this because I've obviously I've not done it, but like it's, the anxiety after is horrendous.
Yaz:Like I felt like does it get easier every time you do it? Do you feel less, less and less bad like the first time you cheat, do you feel like? Does it really eat you off?
Seb:and then it gets less and less yeah oh I think so, but it's been a while. It's been a hot minute since I've done that yeah, you're really young really remember. No, I'm not that young, I'm 27 now never you said you, and I was really young, yeah, when I done that, right.
Seb:So anyway, back to my story before I get distracted again. But I went to this new girlfriend and I was like, right, I'm not gonna cheat, I'm gonna be like the best boyfriend ever. And then she cheated on me. But I didn't really know. But apparently she was playing me and her ex at the very same time, saying that we were like she was single with us both, so he, he was getting cheated on too technically, um, but the reason I found out, she gave an STI.
Seb:Oh, messy queen yeah, yeah, no the clap oh, what is that?
Yaz:what is what happens with that one? No, that didn't really happens.
Seb:It just you just take a tablet, it goes away again but how did you find out what you were just like? Well, I decided so. When I did find out I was like right, I better go and get checked, like just in case you know. Sure enough, I had to clap, oh sorry that is actually my worst nightmare.
Yaz:It was my mum was like you can't eat dinner with us, like you need to wash your clothes separately. Sorry, I love the clap off. Infidelity. That's actually my worst nightmare.
Seb:It was. My mum was like you can't eat dinner with us. You need to wash your clothes separately. I was like my mum.
Ilmz:It's not HIV, it's not like kids yeah, come on, it's not my fault.
Yaz:I actually have a really bad story about that.
Ilmz:That's just reminding me this guy was like cheating on oh, I don't know I think it's just like a different phrasing okay okay, one of those yeah, anyway, I don't know what one, the one that you just take a pill.
Yaz:So maybe it was the clap too anyway, he was like. He was like oh my god, like I have a long time girlfriend, like what the hell am I gonna do? So he's like wait, wait, wait, start again. So he's cheating on his longtime girlfriend.
Yaz:I think so, yeah, because he was like this really handsome man, that's like this ladies man. Anyway, one of the girls was probably there was many about. She was like I have whatever. And he was like oh my god, I have to, like, I have to get my girlfriend like, give her the pill without her nosing so he's like making her breakfast smoothies and crushing it up and putting it in the thing and she's like the smoothie's smart, I would only thought of water.
Seb:And then what would have had the bit?
Yaz:like the bits in it, probably, and then, and then no, and then she doesn't eat it, so he's like shit, I have to get. I have like a dozen drinkers. She's like shit. I have to get another one because, like she didn't eat the pill, you know that I put in the breakfast smoothie, so then he's like so legal.
Seb:I'm sure like that's it yeah yeah, yeah.
Yaz:And then he's like still, he's like, oh my god. So then one day she has a headache and he's like, oh my god, this is the perfect thing. He's like, has like all these supplements. He's like, take all these supplements. And she's like, oh, what's this one with the like? I think it had like I don't know if it was an A, but like had like a letter on what's this one? Oh, it's really good for you.
Yaz:You know, I've actually heard it gets rid of headaches and she takes it and then he never, she never found out apparently but then but he dated somebody else. Together, though no, but she got rid of it because he ate. She ate the pill yeah, but like it sounds like it was a long drawn process, though like I think it was like two days in between, like she didn't have the breakfast smoothie and then she had a headache.
Seb:No, but then you've got to wait. Don't ask why. Well, actually, yeah, you know why. I know this, but you've got to. Apparently you've got to wait like a week or like a couple weeks before you do it again well, maybe they weren't having sex as much.
Yaz:That's why he was cheating, who knows? It's a shame this is a diverge. Yeah, that's so sad man. I know.
Seb:So are they still together.
Yaz:No, I don't think so. I don't know. I only know through a friend who knows the guy, which isn't good. I think she dated the guy after.
Seb:Imagine coming round and saying you've just given me chlamydia. Who have you been sleeping with? I'm so sorry. Yeah, I was cheating on you If I had.
Yaz:that's the only time I would be like so I lost my shit.
Seb:I think I was heartbroken, I think I cried like non-stop for a couple days and then for two weeks. I was still like thinking about it.
Ilmz:It's a long time to be in the process of that. Yeah, as in like couldn't eat couldn't fucking sleep yeah.
Yaz:That's why it's called the breakup diet, because when you are going through a breakup, you're just not hungry because you're so sad.
Seb:That was sad. I couldn't leave the house for fuck all, and I had a job that I really didn't like at the time as well. Oh, no, so I was like rock bottom, bottom, I mean. And then I was racing too, so she, I found out she cheated on me the day after I had to fly to germany to race. Oh no yeah, and I was like not in the right headset. I was really fast because I was like not giving a fuck.
Ilmz:I feel like we should be allowed medical leave with work when you go through a breakup, that particular time.
Seb:I was not right. I was like, yeah, and then the girl that was in the office um, she used to send me pictures of her bum. If you go to the toilet and send me like we've got pictures of bum. Yeah, no, but that was like it was not really consented on my side. I had, like obviously a girlfriend that I obviously loved, but she would send me like why did it make you feel better?
Yaz:or no, no, no, this was like while I had a girlfriend.
Seb:But then obviously I told her like, oh, like, yeah, like she broke up, because obviously I was like sitting the desk fucking crying did the bomb pictures help? Well, I remember. So I came back. So wait, no, they didn't sorry listen, so I came back. So I went to race. I actually crashed.
Seb:I crashed the race car oh no yeah, flew home literally like I am so done, like I was, like I was so sad, like life couldn't get worse. I was like the like. The girl that I really liked cheated on me, gave me the clap it's pretty rock bottom?
Yaz:I don't think.
Seb:I knew I had the clap at that point, so like there was still another cherry on top of the cherry, still going downwards yeah. So and then I had a job that I really didn't like and I wasn't really performing because I wasn't liking it. And the crash, the race car how did?
Yaz:you get out of that yeah, when you're that rock bottom how do you get out? Yeah, we want to know about the glow up to now.
Seb:So here we go. So so I am. I went back to to work, like literally finished the race on the Monday back at work and I didn't want to look at anyone. I didn't want to look at the girl that used to send me the pictures of her bum, because I knew she would always like try and make eye contact with me as well. So I come into the office, sit down, don't want to look at her, and I could see her like get up to, like go to the bathroom. So I was like, oh fuck's sake, open up picture of a bum and burst out crying that would be your 99th reason I don't even want a picture of a bum.
Seb:Yeah, I was yeah, and I was so sad. And then, like I went through the boss's office, was like look, I was like I really can't be here today. I was like I'm really fucked, like I'm fucked. And like he sat and thought he was like yeah, take a couple days off.
Yaz:He was like you're sweet, like just go home and then did you just cry at home and like I don't know what I did, I think yeah yeah, I was, um, I remember praying.
Seb:I was like I'll just, you know, I'll kind of like hope everything's okay, like I want her back. It's so stupid. I was like I just, you know, kind of like hope everything's okay, like I want her back, so stupid I was so young, but like to me that was like. That was it yeah.
Yaz:And then, since then, I'm like I'm never going to get myself back in that like so you're scared of heartbreak, like real heartbreak.
Seb:No, no, no, no, not anymore, no.
Yaz:Nah, I'm good now.
Seb:Genuinely, genuinely, because I've had two other breakups. What makes you not scared of heartbreak anymore? Um, because I've had it another twice and they were all good. Did you love them as much? I don't know. You know, like I think you love a part of them, but I don't think true love is a thing until, like you meet that person. I think you do have that person as well. So, like at the time, you think you love them. But then the girlfriend that had after that one, um, we only dated for, like honestly, three, four months and she was like fun like more of a situationship or a proper girlfriend no, she was a proper girlfriend, like we probably saw, like talked to each other for like a couple months.
Seb:It was during lockdown. So you know, everyone had like a lockdown relationship and they were all nightmares like yeah did anyone, has anyone in the world, actually got married with the person that they had their lockdown relationship with, or was that, oh yeah, your?
Yaz:divorce, that doesn't count, no right? Yeah, that might end it, I wonder see, I'm a bit of a facetimer.
Seb:I don't like to text yeah, I hate texting.
Yaz:I hate texting too. Yeah, if you want to talk to me, just call me facetime or call me yeah because I'm so, I'm so blunt over text so am I.
Seb:I think I'm a sufferer of ADHD.
Yaz:I have ADHD but I don't think that is like a doesn't do that much no, I don't want to take tablets.
Seb:Do you take tablets? No, don't do that.
Yaz:I don't want to suppress my energy.
Seb:I don't ever want to suppress it. You know, I'm the type of guy that sometimes wears headphones in public without listening to music so people don't talk to me sometimes because I know that when people stop to talk to me they'll be there for about half another, because I'll just keep talking, because I genuinely enjoy conversation oh, I, I do that, but not for that reason I do it.
Yaz:And then I like, because I forget to play press play. And then I'm like you're singing your own song. No, I'm there, I'm just like thinking I'm like You're singing your own song. No, I'm there I'm just like thinking I'm like, oh, I don't have any music on yeah, like after running on the treadmill for like 20 minutes.
Seb:Yeah, sometimes I'll turn it off to see how I'm breathing. Yeah, yeah, like, if I'm running, I'll pause the music for a sec just to see am I breathing? Okay, sometimes I don't know if I'm like heavy asthma, like wheezing my heart out, because sometimes I get self-conscious if I'm running with other people, like how hard am I breathing right now? Pause to see, like, am I breathing like really hard? And if I'm really close to people like I'll be like holding my breath so like it doesn't sound like I'm out of breath that much. Do you guys do that?
Yaz:Is this something you developed when you were the ugly kid? I don't know. I think I've got a lot of underlying. You don't have him anymore, but you're still letting him do the breathing, but it would give me the ick.
Ilmz:It would give me the ick if a guy pulls out his. I've done that before On a date.
Yaz:Oh, on a date during sex, everything, yeah, during sex you're just one second, like the lights off and all you hear is that gave me the ick. Yeah, yeah what does give you the ick?
Seb:just don't don't be rude. Like don't be rude and don't tell me something I didn't ask, like I I don't. If I didn't ask, like, what athletes have you slept with? Don't tell me what athletes you've slept with.
Ilmz:Do they do that? Why would someone?
Seb:say that.
Yaz:I've had girls tell me like but why would they want to say that?
Seb:I think, to give themselves a bit of like.
Ilmz:Credibility.
Seb:Credibility to be like I'm like you know they want me like those people. Yeah, a bit like that or, like you know, to be honest, since the tv show that's wild. Like since the tv show and since being single, like I've been in like, yeah, some dates with like a few dates with girls.
Seb:And it's funny because obviously, when I came off the show I had a long-term relationship, so I didn't know what the dating scene was like because we were just together all the time right so, since obviously that recent breakup, like I've been on like some dates and it's funny now that the difference on the type of girls I'm dating now, I suppose, is like so different to like what I was dating before the show are they more real or less real?
Yaz:at first less real oh no, I don't know. Do you try to filter through?
Seb:yeah, filter through it like I'm dabbling here and there what's like your initial red flags? Just being rude and like being ungrateful, like I love to hear gratitude because I'm like, if you're grateful, like you're in touch with what you really want and you're not pretending about anything, I feel like people that are ungrateful are pretending that they've somewhat made it do you know?
Ilmz:have you ever had a? Yeah, have you ever had a guy? Have you?
Seb:ever been like on a date with a guy or married?
Yaz:no one ever believes that she's right, yeah, no, I didn't believe.
Seb:How old are you guys? I didn't know I'm 24.
Ilmz:I'm turning 30 you're turning 30 yes fuck man.
Seb:How did you guys meet?
Yaz:at my divorce party but I was a plus one. Yeah, I didn't know you could bring plus ones to divorce parties. This sounds like a grammy party honestly, she had a long dress and then a short dress for the after party.
Seb:That's like a wedding, where you're dressed in a black wedding dress.
Yaz:It was white. No, they were white. It was like a tiara that said divorce, and a sachet that says no wife, no life, and cookies that were barely legal oh, no, just legal.
Seb:You know what I would say. If somebody had told me that story, I would say, red flag, I don't think you are now, but if you had told me this story, if somebody had told me this story, um, about like you see, like celebrating a divorce as if it's another wedding, I would have been like, okay, there's something not right. But since meeting you, I think it's really cool, I think and I like it it should be celebrated.
Yaz:I think it's funny. I think it's really fucking funny that you do that no, it should be celebrated because, like you, obviously went through the mourning stage and like being so sad.
Seb:Did you? You didn't strike me as the type of person that would like mourn.
Ilmz:I mourned during the marriage. So by the time it ended I was like, oh, I'm done, yeah, and met someone two days after, I think that's what happened to me.
Seb:That's what you know.
Ilmz:Yeah, because you mourn during the relationship.
Seb:Once it's over, you're like oh, I didn't give a fuck. Yeah, and it weirded me out.
Ilmz:This is so harsh.
Seb:It weirded me out that I didn't. There was nothing like I didn't feel any remorse.
Ilmz:That's just how it is sometimes. Should we get?
Seb:married. Should we get married? What would our breakup be? We'd have a joint party. No, we wouldn't get divorced. I, I would never like to me. A divorce is like no go really I couldn't unless it was obviously a nightmare of a marriage. And for me, when I marry somebody, it's because I really, truly love them, like, like, really love them, and I wouldn't divorce Like there's no way.
Yaz:What is love to you.
Seb:For me somebody that loves you. Like they don't necessarily they add to your life in a way that you don't depend on them. Like you depend on them for like marriage, but it's like you don't have to rely on them and there's no pressure in the relationship, like there's no. I need you because you give me this and you need me because I give you that. Like it shouldn't be transactional, like marriage should be like and love should be completely non-transactional and you just love them because whatever you do in your life, they fuck with it.
Seb:Like they support it like it's aligned yeah yeah and then like whatever they do in their life, like you fuck with that and like like I think that's what. That's what love is can I ask something?
Ilmz:yeah as we're kind of growing older yeah is it harder to find love because we're not naive anymore?
Seb:no, because I don't think you truly ever had love. I think you had an element of it and I think you loved a part of the like ex-relationships that you were in. But I think you'll know when it's love.
Yaz:When you were going through a breakup. Do you like talk to your friends about it or do you try to like just process it by yourself?
Seb:Every breakup's been slightly different, like the one that I was really heartbroken with. I couldn't speak to anybody about it. I spoke to god about it and like that was it. Like that was it. And it was weird because I would have the urge to look at what they were up to as well, which that was the worst thing to do. Yeah, it was the worst, and I was holding on to like fuck knows. I was like, oh, maybe we'll maybe get back together, but I don't know why I'm fucking sitting there taking chlamydia tablets you know, I mean it's like, why did I want that back?
Seb:but at the time I kind of did um and then I got over it, obviously um did it take a long time to get over that one I think it was the one, which is weird because it was the least. It was a relationship that least mattered. It was like my quickest ever relationship. We only dated for three months. That's fucked when you think about it, isn't?
Yaz:it. It's weird, I was young. Sometimes the short ones get you, though too. It does. We always talk about situationship breakups actually probably being harder than relationship breakups actually probably being harder than relationship breakups.
Seb:My situationship breakup fucked me up more than my divorce situationships as well, like you're still fucking good, you know, the sex is still alive, everything's going smooth, so there's no reason for it to end. Yeah, so when it ends, you're like they don't even get to know me.
Ilmz:Yeah, you don't really know me.
Yaz:Yeah, you can't break up with me. You don't know me. You didn't even get to know me. Yeah, you don't really know me.
Seb:Yeah, you can't break up with me, you don't know me.
Ilmz:He didn't even get to have my cooking Like oh can you cook yeah? I've been a wife so I can cook. Like what type of food? Well, a lot of ethnic food, so like.
Seb:Well, what is your?
Ilmz:ethnicity I'm Bangladeshi, biryani, lamb chops.
Seb:Stop it All that kind of stuff. Really See, I'm good at cooking Italian.
Ilmz:Really.
Seb:Yeah, I cooked your best mate food last night and I'm all right, I'm decent.
Yaz:Really, I think I'm quite the husband there you go, are you? Yeah, yeah.
Ilmz:That's crazy, because I'm looking for a husband like you. Are you? Yeah, she flirted.
Seb:Did she flirting? Does she do this with all the guests?
Yaz:No, you're the first one.
Ilmz:You're the hottest one we've had.
Seb:Say that to the cat. Look directly at the cat.
Yaz:That's the hottest guest we've had. Don't egg her on.
Seb:No, she doesn't need that. What are you going to say? You're sitting here all silent.
Yaz:I can't cook, so and Shall, we swap seats. Maybe it's making me a bit uncomfortable.
Seb:You know what? This is the first time I've ever flirted on a podcast.
Ilmz:There's a first for everything and I'm glad I'm the first.
Yaz:Yeah, oh Jesus, this is crazy, but I like it.
Ilmz:I'm going to fuck with it Shall we get back to breakups. Yeah, yeah, okay, sorry Back to the purpose.
Seb:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yaz:Um, I've heard stories right about men, I'm talking as if I'm not a man myself.
Seb:But I am a man, but um, thanks for clarifying well, I've heard stories that men process their breakups like a couple months after yeah so I'm trying to run through all my breakups.
Seb:The first breakup, my favorite girlfriend, is the one that I had when I was like really young. It's probably like the most chill, like we're still kind of friends, but she's got like a new boyfriend seems really good. Second girlfriend obviously I just kept cheating on. It was the longest. No, no, it was. I was about. It was about a year, year and a half, two years on and off. Every six months would break up and then get back together again god, was that not so?
Yaz:did that not make the breakup so much harder?
Seb:uh, it was a sad one and like, yeah, I think I did. You know, we were in each other's dns for a little while after, um, but then I got another girlfriend. I got the, the one that cheated on me kind of, while we were still messing around. So, yeah, the next girlfriend I had, that obviously was like a three, four month relationship. It was a lockdown. One broke up with her six months later, went on the tv show, but during that breakup she's the only girlfriend that I've had I kept. I kept sleeping with her. She was, she was good in bed.
Yaz:They're all right is that why you kept her around for a long time? Well, you know what it was.
Seb:It's because in between that time I was talking about kind of going on the show. So it was like I didn't really want to like keep increasing the numbers. So I thought if I keep sleeping with her it technically doesn't count because I'm not adding to my roster. Are you?
Yaz:are you worried about numbers?
Seb:yeah, I'm, yeah, I'm not worried about it, but I'm like mindful, mindful about it. Yeah, don't want to be like. I feel like most men aren't that mindful now nah, I am, because, especially now I'm 27 year old, I'm like I'd love to get married child of god, love to get married.
Seb:One day we'll have kids and like, although I want to leave no stone unturned, I'm also mindful, because you do get a name and and like in our industry now the world's even smaller and everyone knows who you are and everyone seems to know your business. So now I'm like right, I don't really want to be like adding to my numbers that much.
Seb:That's really respectful because most people when they get a bit of fame yeah they go ham yeah yeah, listen, I went a little bit ham, like a little bit ham yeah, at the start it's exciting yeah no, but like yeah after the last one, because I was like I've not been, like you know, dating in the scene is it hard to go through a breakup like now? In the public eye. Yeah, now, because you have people watching way more distractions really in what way?
Seb:yeah, now, because you have people watching Way more distractions, really, what way? Well, I mean so, like I said, so the last breakup I had probably hurt me the least out of all my other ones, even though I probably, like, loved her the most. I don't have an answer for it. I think it's because I was really disrespected, like in a really bad way, and I didn't voice it because I'm not that type of guy yeah, I'm not that type of person like breakup's breakup is what it is and my faith was at its strongest during that time, like on the lead up to the breakup. I didn't know we were going to break up, um, but my faith was the strongest for, like the year, like prior to it, so I was bulletproof. That's really beautiful. Can I ask you more about god and faith?
Ilmz:yeah, how did that come about during? Obviously like the show is quite provocative yeah how did you still stay connected?
Seb:god works in funny ways. God will like leave you a lot of rope, um, and then with that rope, like you've got more space to fuck around. Like you know, those dog collars that, like the dog can fucking run off wrap itself around the tree and then it needs you to help.
Seb:That's how I see God. Like God will like let the leash out, I wrap myself around the tree, start choking myself, and then God's like fuck sake, you've done it again. And then like, yeah, untangle you, you know, pull the, the collar back in, and then like you're close to him again and like god, I believe that god wants that, because he always wants to be close to you.
Ilmz:You know, really beautiful I'm, like I'm god's puppy so how do you reach out to god when you're going through a breakup? Um like, how do you feel his presence? Cry in the shower.
Seb:I didn't cry. So I didn't cry because, like, I know what god has for me is way better than what's right now. Like I know it and I'm like, if I somewhat enjoyed the last relationship, uh, then what's the next one going to be like? The next one's going to be even better. So, like, why do I? Why should I be sad? It's a time to celebrate, essentially, and I get it. I get it. Like it is a time to sell it when you break up with somebody. Obviously, if you need to mourn, mourn, but if you don't need to mourn, I don't think there's a right and wrong with breakups. So if you want to move on, like respectfully, go for it. Or if you want to, like get a girlfriend, go for it.
Yaz:Like so you don't think there's a like specific time frame it's if the right person comes along.
Seb:I think it's wrong to move on with just anybody, but I think if the love of your life comes along, they don't ignore it, because you've only broken up a couple months ago.
Seb:You know there's a passage in the bible that's romans 8 18 that says listen, maybe you can't quote it completely correctly, but the gist of it is don't be worried about the present, because what's waiting for you is so much better. It's so important for me and like that's why I'm like always, I suppose, happy in a sense, because I'm like everything's good, like why am I worried that everyone that I've got, that I love, is around me already, like my family, my friends, and they're so amazing.
Yaz:Did you lose any confidence when you got cheated on by the second? No, I gained it. Oh sorry, sorry with the cheat one, yeah, when she cheated on you.
Seb:It's funny because I think the last one cheated on me as well. You think. According to her friends yeah, her friends told you and she's now dating the guy that, like I think the day after the breakup she posted, or somebody posted like a tiktok of them like grinding on each other and then. But they're dating now. And then the friends were like, yeah, they were kind of like messing around a bit and okay, so did that make your confidence go down?
Seb:not really no, no, not at all, because I'm like I didn't do anything wrong, so why should that make me like lose confidence? That's a perfect, powerful way to think yeah and like after the breakup, like the girls I were dating were hot as fuck so you were like I won the breakup anyway. Well, I was like like I wouldn't say it's disrespectful to say I'd be missing out because I wasn't missing out on anything. Like while I was in a relationship I was like perfectly happy so I wasn't missing out because.
Seb:But since, like that particular breakup, like life has changed so much since you know before, like I suppose I'm in the public eye now, like I love my job, I love my life, everything's really cool, the shit I'm doing is like incredible. So I didn't gain my confidence to be like okay, I know, I've still got it. I think it's to prove to myself I've still got this. You know, I'm still like I've still got rest.
Yaz:I think that is a big thing, though, when you go through a breakup, like it is nice to know, like oh, still hot yeah, because you feel like crap a lot of the time. Maybe you don't always feel like crap apparently but like my my experience is. I felt like crap. And then you feel like bad and then when you go out or something, you get some like attention. You're like ooh-hoo.
Seb:Yeah, the attention's like ooh fuck yeah. You're like wow, and you still act cool with it, though You're like yeah, yeah, yeah, you give them the whole, like you know, peck me. You tell them oh, I just got broken up with you know.
Yaz:Oh, this is a line he used To be honest. Yeah, yeah, it's like I just got divorced. Yeah, I've actually heard this. Last weekend actually, I went out and like some guy was saying about how he's like going through heartbreak, I've been like fuck yeah, fuck yeah, no, no, no, no, no.
Seb:But my friend like started thinking like his friend and he was like you know, that's a line he uses and I was like oh, I was like we felt so bad for him.
Yaz:We were like, oh, you'll be okay, that's what I mean yeah you get the whole. I was like listen to the breakup diet, it's okay. I'll help you through, plug the pot. I did. I was like you know what? I've got something for you.
Seb:Yeah, I've got. I bet you did.
Yaz:He just uses it to pick up girls. It works, it does. That is sick. Sorry, that is sick. Downhill in distress works, is that? Do you think it is easy to stay friends with an ex after a breakup?
Seb:I don't feel the need to. Like have a friend that I used to fuck. Like how do you move on where? Like your next girlfriend and like I don't know, I'd find it weird it is weird and like I feel like the lat, the kind of like the ex there is I don't know if she wants to be friends, but she's still in the DMs and I'm like this is weird, like you've got a new man.
Seb:That to me is like I would never do that no, I would yeah, well, yeah no but like no, there is bro code, like with friends, just being a good person I feel like if you're still friends with your ex, it's because you don't really like the person you move on with yeah, or you're trying to see like if it's been a long time and then they text them again.
Yaz:Then you're trying to see like if the door's still open yeah, or if you can still get them. Yeah, no, I've done the power trip.
Seb:I did the power trip and I don't know why I did. I'm so ashamed but I just still did it but like, yeah, like went back and met just for a laugh. No, it was a bit more like a laugh, but it was more just for my own satisfaction. I was like I know you've moved on, but I'm gonna do it I thought you said you weren't toxic.
Ilmz:I'm not toxic, it's entertainment it's comedy a little so this was when you were a dog, like wrangled up in the tree. Yeah, yeah, yeah, nah, yeah, I suppose but have you guys done that before?
Seb:no, you've never went back to next just for fucking. Nah, yeah, I suppose. Have you guys done that before? No, you've never went back to an ex just for fucking. I think you have. You have, yeah, you have, I fucking knew it I have. Just don't make me look bad here. Like just tell the truth, like tell me like why did you do it?
Ilmz:because I was scared to meet someone new. It wasn't like a power trip thing I was like to meet someone new. It wasn't like a power trip thing, I was like vulnerable.
Seb:I think breakups are really healthy because it turns you into like a different animal, like it turned me into such a a focused, hard-working individual that was like fuck, I turned into a beast of a guy like it sounds like a blow-moaned trumpet, but like no, it does that I focused on the gym. I had a bit of a dad bod when we were dating and, like I, was happy with my dad bod.
Ilmz:Before and after pics, please.
Yaz:Butt pics. Don't worry, I was joking from the beginning.
Seb:I got it out on a. Tv show. I've got a good butt. I've got a nice little butt, did you?
Ilmz:I'll find that episode.
Seb:It find that episode it's very soft and then it firms up when I want it to firm up, okay, so the back to the diet for men.
Yaz:So yeah, talking about like the glow up and kind of you do turn into like you want a go-getter when you go through a break oh, I'm a major go-getter.
Seb:I've got. I've got a brand coming out of Best Friend we're going to be launching. This is still a secret. Nobody like the general public don't know this Breakup, dad exclusive. What is it A?
Yaz:brand. What Can you say? What it is or no?
Seb:You can say no, it's an alcoholic beverage. Okay cool, yeah, but eventually there'll be some something like that. But when are you launching a skinny can?
Yaz:okay, low calories, electrolytes when are you launching?
Seb:so we're soft launching end of march and then hard launch in may.
Yaz:You've got your business coming out like your career is sorted. You got rid of your dad bod. What else did you do?
Seb:and I started being more like picky with who I give my time to and like even like when I'm dating though, like if somebody's going to disrespect me, that's their fucking problem, like that's not a me problem 100% and it's a redirection from God yeah, and I'm like well, I'm happy I found out and I'm happy they're doing that, because I've just saved me a load of time yeah and then like I lose respect, don't really care, and I move on thank you so much.
Yaz:We've had a clap, we've had STDs.
Seb:Oh, that's same thing we've had, yeah pictures and we've had God and God it's a really weird cocktail, but it works.
Yaz:Yeah, thank you you.
