The Break-Up Diet

Breakup Do’s & Don’ts: Don’t Text Him, Do This Instead

• Yasmin Misner and Ilma Shahrene • Season 1 • Episode 34

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Breakups change everything—your routines, your emotions, and even who you become afterward. But navigating this challenging transition doesn't have to be guesswork.

With raw honesty and plenty of hard-earned wisdom, we dive into the essential do's and don'ts that can make or break your healing journey. From the temptation of "just one more" meetup (never worth it) to the liberation found in solo adventures (highly recommended), we're sharing what actually works and what leaves you stuck in emotional quicksand.

Digital ties often keep us chained to the past. We explain why complete severance—blocking, deleting photos, and resisting the urge to stalk—creates the space needed for healing. The moment you forget to check their profile marks true progress in moving forward. Similarly, avoiding memory-laden locations prevents those overwhelming emotional floods that can set your progress back weeks.

Beware the post-breakup impulses! Whether it's dramatic haircuts, rebounds, or airing your grievances on social media, these short-term reliefs often create long-term complications. Instead, we advocate for healthier alternatives: feel your emotions fully, create evolving playlists that match your healing journey, and celebrate milestone moments like one month of no contact.

Perhaps most powerfully, we discuss the incredible growth waiting on the other side of heartbreak. Each relationship teaches valuable lessons about what you want, what you won't tolerate, and who you're becoming. The version of yourself emerging from this experience is smarter, stronger, and better prepared for whatever comes next.

Ready to transform your breakup into a breakthrough? Subscribe to our podcast, leave a comment sharing your breakup wisdom, and join our community of people turning heartache into growth.

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Yaz:

Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of the Breakup Diet. What's going on, Yaz? Well, I mean, I feel like you know lots of stuff that's going on for me.

Ilmz:

I mean a lot of things happening behind the scenes.

Yaz:

Yeah, always, always, always behind the scenes. But also before we start this episode, I think you guys need to subscribe. If you haven't, please give us a like where you can. If you're watching it on youtube, subscribe to the channel, like it, comment and do the same on spotify apple music anywhere yeah, we're everywhere, so please, please, please, do that. But yeah, I thought today well, I think we should talk about do's and don'ts. What do you think?

Ilmz:

the do's and don'ts of a breakup guys. It's ever evolving, but also kind of staying the same. What's happening?

Yaz:

yeah, I think we got to be blunt with it too, like you know what I mean. What you should do doesn't mean that we do this, but you should do it could be better. Buckle up bitches, it's gonna get bumpy. This is the breakup diet, okay, so what shouldn't you do? I think we with. Okay, you should not go see them one last time after you break up. You know, for a quick bit of like either closure or, you know, a quick bit of sex. Don't do it. It's not going to help. It's going to make you more confused and you're just going to get in your head even more because you're probably going to miss them or they're going to do something even worse and make you hate them even more, which is also not good for your self-esteem after a breakup, the last thing you should be doing is going back to what, going back to the person who dumped you.

Ilmz:

I basically saw this really impactful tiktok today, where he was like you wouldn't put the shit back in your ass after you've shut it out ew, it's big graphic.

Yaz:

It makes sense, but that's really gross.

Ilmz:

You just wouldn't let that shit back in, ew. So why should you let his nasty, nasty cock back in? I'm sorry, I have to just make the point really clear. People think hooking up with your ex right after a breakup is like ha-ha, he-he do it for the plot. No, you're doing something really fucking nasty. It's not good for you.

Yaz:

And also yeah, he-he, ha-ha, but no, you're just going to get more confused. Especially if you're a girl, you're going to get attached again. It's going gonna make it harder to deattach. Yeah, also, like I think it's more haha, he, he. If they're never back in there, you're like you will never have this, ever again that is so much more empowering and hotter for you, it's.

Ilmz:

It's better for the plot being like oh, I was the one that got away and didn't let him hit for the last time ew, yeah, no, no, yeah, no.

Yaz:

Some hate sex or whatever it is you know like no yeah, it's like a weird kink for men probably taking advantage of, like emotional women no, okay, next, next, next point.

Yaz:

We need what we're not doing. Next posting like an instagram quote, being like if you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best you're not, chloe kardashian. Pack it up with the quotes just and also, everybody knows who you're talking about. Number one he knows who you're talking about and number one he knows who you're talking about and you just look sad Without being. You just look sad he had you and it's not worked?

Ilmz:

Yeah, and it's not worked out. Let's not dwell on it and publicly let people know that you're dwelling on it. If you've got feelings, journal, yeah, journal for sure. Burn it after. No one needs to see it, not even you need to see it after you've written it down, you know I'll get you.

Yaz:

What is another one that I would think of? If you haven't already blocked them, you definitely should, and delete their numbers and mute all their friends. Everything needs to go, any sort of reminder of them, even if it's like a nice breakup for you to be able to heal and move on. You actually have to do it, which is so hard. Even the photos you know and the albums that come up on your phone. If you want to keep them, maybe to look at years later, which I don't think you should do. You shouldn't do, but you could like send them to a friend and say keep them, I need to let go of them there will be no friend of mine wanting to keep pictures of my ugly what photos my head went.

Yaz:

What photos do you have with your ex that you don't?

Ilmz:

want your friend to keep. No, it's not that. It's that I don't think my friends would want to store pictures of a very ugly man yeah, well they.

Yaz:

I wouldn't want my friends to store pictures of my boyfriend if they thought he was hot. You know what I mean. I'd be like that's awkward too.

Ilmz:

Yeah, basically just delete, delete, you don't need it.

Yaz:

Maybe like if you know I was gonna say if you really want to, you could like print them off and put them in an Xbox, but that's not healthy either. Don't do that. Have you ever?

Ilmz:

heard about an Xbox. I've heard about an Xbox. The concept seems really fun, but I don't know how healthy it is. In terms of moving on, I don't think it'll help me.

Yaz:

Yeah, and also I just don't think an Xbox is good. I feel like I'm saying, like an Xbox, like a, but that's clutter, I don't need more clutter. You know, like I don't even keep my clothing for that long, why do I need to hang on to their? I don't know plane ticket that he bought me.

Ilmz:

Yeah, you don't need it. I feel like we've got all this information stored digitally as well.

Yaz:

If you really need to see it, just type in Ryanair on your email yeah, you know also, I would be deleting all the photos on Instagram if you haven't oh yeah, proper fresh spring clean the socials yeah, for sure you don't need to stalk them or stalk their following or stalk who they're seeing. Yeah, you don't need to. You gotta do. How can you not?

Ilmz:

I can see the temptation. It's normal, we're all human. But I'm just saying in the long run it's such an icky habit to have. You're better than that.

Yaz:

I don't know. I'd find it quite fun though I know that you shouldn't and I know you should not do that, but best believe I would be doing that. I'm gonna have to see and I'm gonna have to go through her stuff and I'm gonna have to evaluate the situation but the thing is, the situation's not yours anymore.

Ilmz:

I know the ship has sailed.

Yaz:

I know, but it's a little bit of pastime that would make make some fun in my life. I can't laugh. It would. It's a bit traumatizing. I would give it. I'll give it to you they're removed from your following.

Ilmz:

They're removed from your pictures, your feed. Therefore, you don't need to see what they're up to afterwards.

Yaz:

Did you do that after a breakup? Because you're, you post a lot of stuff and do like a lot of you know what I mean photos. Did you do what you're preaching right now?

Ilmz:

um, so with my first ex completely gone, gone like I had no interest whatsoever in what he was doing, the second ex hit a bit hard and I would like we've both unfollowed each other, but I would kind of look here and there, but nothing was ever interesting.

Yaz:

So I kind of stopped, fair, I feel like that is a thing, though After time you do stop. So even if you do do it, it's okay, because after a certain amount of time it'll get boring, yeah, and that's when you know you've moved on. When you forget to stalk, that's. However, I know when I've moved on. When you forget to stalk, that's. However, I know when I've moved on from situation is when I forget to stalk the person it's the best feeling ever, because you're like oh, I'm released, I no longer care yeah, so you did, but now you, so you really you deleted all the photos as well hell yeah, immediately after the breakup, I deleted it instantly.

Ilmz:

I removed them everywhere, I blocked them everywhere. Did you not have? Like a moment ever where you thought back on it and were like no, because there was not a part of me that wants someone that doesn't want me back that's very good.

Yaz:

Yeah, I get it. Well done, we're getting there. I think also another thing that you shouldn't do is visit places that you guys used to go to as a couple. A lot Like, if you have a favorite restaurant, even if that's your favorite restaurant independently, do not go back to that restaurant for like a year.

Ilmz:

The memories come back and it hits you hard, like, and you think that it wouldn't impact you, but it does, like crazy. So the street that I used to live with my ex, I walked past it. To be honest, it's been three years since we lived there, but I walked past it the other day and I'm like, oh shit, like really yeah, because I live quite near there now.

Yaz:

oh god yeah, so you walked down and did like. Did you have memories come back?

Ilmz:

Yeah, I'm just like, oh my God. But like, luckily there were bad memories, which is good because I wasn't romanticizing them. But it's still like sentimental places that you have with your ex. Whether you guys end it amicably or not, it will.

Yaz:

Yeah, they flood back in. It's like literally like you walk down and you can't help yourself it takes you over.

Ilmz:

It's crazy. It's a very intense feeling that I've never felt till literally the other day yeah, I had.

Yaz:

When I had my little breakup, like it was, I remember I walked back into the house and that's what got me, because our whole relationship at the start started and we were always at mine. And then I remember walking in and I was just like that's where he held my hand for the first time. He did that there, like he cuddled me on this couch and I was like I was like almost, you have to move. You have to move. Yeah, if you go through a breakup, it's not very good for your bank, because you've got to move, you've got to get out.

Ilmz:

Yeah, venture out to the news. Parts of London.

Yaz:

Or sage Loads of sage.

Ilmz:

Yeah, loads of sage. I mean I got dumped in my bedroom once Like I had to like vomit with sage.

Yaz:

Did you vomit with sage? Yeah, I had to Bomb it with sage. Did you bomb it with sage? Yeah, I had to. If you didn't want to get a haircut before, don't just randomly do it, because you're going through a breakup and you need to switch up and develop into a new person. You don't need to change.

Ilmz:

You don't need those bangs.

Yaz:

Babe, put the scissors down, it's funny that you said bangs, because that's actually what I did. I did bangs, but I wanted them before before, but I just had the courage then because I was like you know what, if I look bad, I can't feel any worse, and then they look better. So I was like, haha, how did it look?

Yaz:

it looked better slay yeah, it was a good. It was actually a good, a good, a good thing to do, but I don't advise doing like a full-on haircut if you've never want to have black hair and you just dye your hair black or something. I wouldn't advise that yeah, control your impulses.

Ilmz:

That also goes with, that goes with spendings. What other things?

Yaz:

well, like anything, really like anything where you feel like you have to change yeah, like you know. But change, yeah, like you know dressing different, changing your hair colour, you know, becoming someone that you're not. But then I also do get wanting to feel a bit better if you're feeling low, so it's kind of like a hard one. I feel like if you wanted to do something before the breakup, then you can do it low-key, but if you just like have an impulse, don't do it.

Ilmz:

Relax on the impulses at the start, because you know the first six weeks of a breakup. It's a shock in your system. You're still processing a very big loss. Be easy to yourself. Don't act on any emotions. That's the biggest thing. This was from Paige's episode. It really has stuck with me.

Yaz:

She's great, yeah shout out to Paige she, yeah, I feel like you also should. And what shouldn't you do? You should not go seek them for closure, even if you want to. You shouldn't use like pets to get back in. I've heard that one recently. You know what I mean. Like you don't need to keep their pet to know no, you do not need to like see them or leave your stuff at theirs.

Ilmz:

To like see them one last time no, we're not going to be desperate after a breakup. That's like one thing. We're not going to be yes, we're human and that. But desperation after a breakup is something that we do not advise.

Yaz:

On the breakup diet yeah, like you didn't leave your bracelet at his house. You didn't. You don't need to say you did. You know what I mean. Like I think I left my bracelet at your house. No, you didn't, and if you did, he should give it back. Yeah, if it's really expensive, he should give it back, and if he doesn't Tough, yeah, you didn't need it and it was God's plan to let it go lost.

Ilmz:

That is wise Hard truth, but that is so wise. Yeah, Like no begging. Begging is banned in the breakup diet.

Yaz:

What have you done after a breakup that you shouldn't have done?

Ilmz:

One thing I really regretted doing after a breakup was airing it all out on tiktok for views. But did you get views? Yeah, I got like 100k decent, great for the analytics. You know my social media manager was super happy with it. But it is not really healthy and it's actually kind of not normal to air out your business to a hundred thousand people to see and know. You know what I mean. There's levels to it.

Yaz:

Yeah, you can share with the, with your friends, because it's fun, but online it is such a gray zone I also feel like it kind of makes you stuck in the breakup, like as in if you're sharing it online and then you're getting views from it, you're probably going to post something else about it. And it kind of makes you stuck in the breakup, like as in if you're sharing it online and then you're getting views from it, you're probably going to post something else about it, and it kind of like stops you from healing because you're just living it. Yeah, and you're living it and you keep doing it because you yeah, you keep reliving your breakup.

Ilmz:

For what Views? 100k views. Is that worth it in?

Yaz:

the end. I mean, only do it if you're like serious and then you make bang from it and then you're off yeah, if you can think about a proper long-term game on it, like we have with the breakup diet.

Ilmz:

But this also goes to stories as well, where you're airing them out on your instagram stories, cussing them out not worth it. One person who did that, which I famously remember, julia fox, aired out her baby daddy drama, completely calling him like a deadbeat dad. I never saw that. This happened just before she got with kanye and imagine it's there for the world. There's screenshots. The baby's gonna see it when he grows up one day. What you put in online kind of stays out there forever, even if you deleted it because someone saved it.

Yaz:

Someone's taking a screen recording of it yeah, especially now also like that's mean because she's gonna get over those feelings and then what her son's like her son's dad, that's what they're talking about and then she can't really, yeah, you can't take it back. And that's bad, especially also because she would have cared about that person a lot at one spot, like she will get over it or not feel the exact same way even if even if it was horrible what happened, like we don't know what happened, but I don't know. It's a bit awkward then yeah, it's a big no.

Yaz:

I think online airing a drama is just not worth it guys yeah, unless we go through a breakup and then it has to go online unfortunately, this is the breakup diet oh god, one rule for us, another rule for Okay.

Ilmz:

another thing you shouldn't do after a breakup rebounds, yeah they're not healthy.

Yaz:

You have to be a strong. Unless you're a really strong person, you can just like get the job done, if you know what I mean, and get on, but I just don't think I can do that. I get too attached and be in love and then they're they're.

Ilmz:

they're not in love with you because they're just a rebound exactly, and the thing is with a breakup, embrace the fact that you're actually single for a bit. You're not going to be single forever, which is why you don't need to go under someone immediately. You don't need unnecessary emotional attachment and you probably don't need to jump into a relationship accidentally through a rebound. Been there, done that worst decision ever, because after that rebound is over, you mourn two relationships for the price of what none yeah, I get you.

Yaz:

There's also like a rebound can be fun. It can be fun too, I guess, to distract you, like it is just putting a band-aid over and you shouldn't probably do it, but I don't know I would say distract yourself with career. But sometimes it's a different feeling, isn't it Like distracting yourself with the love of a career or the love of your friends or the love of your family is so different from a romantic love too, like I get it, but it's also like really it's hard, you know.

Yaz:

So like a rebound is not healthy and it's not good.

Ilmz:

But sometimes it is a little bit of a like haha, yeah, no, like give yourself the time to heal, though, because you're going through something super fresh and new, and then, when you're ready, get back to it when you're feeling healthy and good about yourself. Not because you have to do it just to spite your ex, or doing it because there's that pressure for you to just immediately start dating, because there's no rush to it, there's no timelines to it yeah, or if you feel like you have to win the breakup because you don't you.

Ilmz:

Being by yourself makes you the winner, because now's the time for you to level up, glow up and reinvent to the best version of yourself. Should we take this to what you should do after a?

Yaz:

breakup. Yeah. So what you should do is obviously cry, let all the emotions out, whether that be a week, whether that be two weeks, whatever it is, just get it out whenever it comes out and feels right, because also some people won't process it straight away. I thought about this the other day that sometimes you don't cry in the first week because it doesn't hit you and you might have like a job that's taken you over and just keep reminding yourself that, in the long run, this is all for the better.

Ilmz:

Breakups are exciting. It's the start of a new chapter. It means new career opportunities, new opportunities to meet someone that's more aligned to you. It's really not the end of the world. So, yeah, embrace those emotions the first couple of weeks.

Yaz:

Yeah, and it will be scary at the start, like it will be, and it's also like you feel like you're losing something, or you're like letting go of something and you're, you know, all alone, but you're not.

Ilmz:

Yeah, I mean it's definitely a big loss, but the thing is that loss opens up for so much more excitement in your life.

Yaz:

Yeah, also, what you should do is make a habit of, when you're ready, going out and doing things, even if you don't feel like you should want to do it, because the habit then makes you feel better after the time that you have to like force yourself into I don't know, seeing your friends or going out, even if you don't really want to, and then after the time it won't, you won't be forced 100% like.

Ilmz:

You will never not regret even just going out for a walk and get some fresh air for 10 minutes. You'll never regret that. You'll never regret, um. You'll never regret calling your friends and having a laugh about everything, but what you will regret is staying in and isolating yourself from the world. Yeah, because then you actually will feel lonely, exactly. Let's not amplify that feeling, yeah.

Yaz:

You know, what we've never talked about is maybe you should make up a breakup playlist, because that could be kind of fun and it doesn't have to be sad songs. Maybe the first week is sad songs so that you can just cry in the shower, but after it should be more like I don't know ariana grande is her name and like taylor swift and like miley cyrus oh my god, miley cyrus is amazing for breakups.

Ilmz:

She covers like the entire emotions like wrecking balls. Seven things I hate about you, then adore you like. That woman has range when it comes to breakups. She's been through it yeah, wasn't.

Yaz:

It isn't one like flowers or something yes video clip in the house yeah.

Yaz:

So I feel like you gotta have, like you can have your crying stage playlist and then you can have like another playlist. That's like bad bitch energy, you know, like getting your groove back, like you don't deserve this, exactly, exactly. And maybe like play it before you, like going to go see your friends, you know, or going on a walk. You could play it and just like strut your stuff down the, down the street and you know what, when you go on these walks don't look like a bum either, actually. So when you are out in public okay, you don't have to always do this, but I feel like if you make an effort and you look good, then you're gonna feel good, and then you might meet somebody else just down the street or you might just get somebody say, wow, you're pretty, and then that would make you feel good in turn too 100.

Ilmz:

Just the fact that you, like, took time in your appearance is such a nice way to boost serotonin.

Yaz:

It really is yeah, honestly, whenever, whenever I don't wear makeup and for ages, like when I'm working at home or whatever, I feel so gross. And then the first time you put on makeup, like after a few days, you feel like a VS model. You're like hello world.

Ilmz:

Yeah, you're just like oh, I am so back, like I am out, let's go.

Yaz:

Yeah.

Ilmz:

But when you're kind of in that makeup free zone, you get a bit sluggish. There has to be a psychology on this, seriously.

Yaz:

Yeah, there definitely has to be. Yeah, when you're in the rut, I get this, even when I work from home and I've got like some toothpaste here and I'm like my hair's in a slick back bun of grease, I'm like ugh.

Ilmz:

Yeah, and then there's a reason to be out. Your friends are hitting you up, you've got your makeup on, you feel great yeah, what else would you do after breakup? Okay, I would a hundred percent throw yourself into either a new hobby or career but what if you didn't know what that was like?

Yaz:

what if you're someone that just didn't hasn't found that yet? Because it's easy for us, because we have kind of found that, but, like me, a few years ago I wouldn't have found that oh yeah, this took me three years after my divorce to find this yeah it does take time, but the thing is, if your intention is there, the right hobby, the right passion, the right career path will fall into place.

Ilmz:

You just need to like, have that intention within you to do that and do your research, suss things out. There are infinite amount of information out there, see what suits you, see what you like and then just take it from there. It's exciting.

Yaz:

Yeah, you don't even have to. To be fair, you don't even have to have a full new hobby or anything. I was just thinking about it. You could even read books that you're interested in, or read books like, which I guess is a hobby, but like if you never were into that research, I don't know different things that you might like. Like, if you like shopping, okay, it's not a good hobby, but you could gain an online shopping addiction, who knows. Not very healthy, but it is quite fun to browse.

Ilmz:

Or even just think back into the hobbies that you've always kind of wanted to do, back before you were in a relationship that you never really had the time because you had to give that time to someone else. Yeah, dig back into that, sorry.

Yaz:

Dig back, we're stuttering and I've learned so much today also I feel like you know what I learned about a breakup recently is that you are not the same person that you were when you went into the relationship, and so if you're scared to break up, this is just a different thing. If you're scared to break up, this is just a different thing. If you're scared to break up with somebody because you remember what the time was like before, don't be, because it won't be the same. Like you've grown so much as a person whether that I don't know. Maybe you're not feeling so confident right now or something, but you were. You're really less confident before the relationship and you're not going to go back to being even less confident. So you can't. You have to be present with the time too. It's not like you're going through a breakup and then you're going to go back to being even lower than you were before you even had this relationship. Like it doesn't work like that.

Ilmz:

I thought that was nice to know, definitely I think after a breakup you meet a new version of yourself and embrace them. She's cool. She's been through a lot. She's smarter than the last relationship.

Yaz:

She's gonna go into her next relationship knowing a way lot more yeah, what you want, what you don't want, what you won't put up with exactly.

Ilmz:

I feel like each breakups get better and better. You just glow up so much better. There was another tiktok I saw, where it was like oh, I am one more breakup from turning into the prime minister, because that's just how much she's locked in, you know okay.

Yaz:

so also, what you should do is celebrate every single time that you have like a mini win. So say you don't contact them for like a month, you get a cake. You know, I bet you've seen those cakes like on Pinterest. I've seen them as like one month, no contact, like I think you should make it a fun thing and like celebrate the milestones, because it's hard. It is hard to cut ties, it is hard to stay broken up and it is hard to cut ties. It is hard to stay broken up and it is hard. So you need to be like yes, bitch, I got this and I did that, and then you won't care.

Ilmz:

I actually think celebrating the one month is the biggest milestone to celebrate. I think we need to normalize that because the first month is the hardest. If you can get over that month, trust me you will get over that breakup. So I think we should invent yeah, one month breakup anniversary parties, yeah cake.

Yaz:

Yeah, always, yeah, there's always a celebration to get a cake 100 and the first month. You deserve it yeah, because it's hard. It's so hard to stay also like to not go back, to not want to get closure.

Ilmz:

Another thing you should do after a breakup solo dates. I am telling you solo dates are so fun.

Yaz:

I love being no, it is the way that you said it's so fun I want to know.

Ilmz:

okay, solo dates are the best thing ever. I didn't realize till actually doing them. So going to pilates class by myself, going to the movies by myself, I'm like shit, this is so much fun. I don't need to wait for someone else's schedule, I don't need to be texting a friend being like are you here, where are you? I can just go on my own accord. The best thing I've done for a solo date was a concert. I was right at the front, pressed up against the barricades. I was able to touch the artist's hands. You can do so much more things your own way, and it's fun.

Yaz:

You went by yourself. Yeah, was that not a bit scary being in a crowd by yourself?

Ilmz:

No, I've done it quite a few times. Oh, even like when I was in a relationship, like when I need to go to a concert and there's no one there. I'm not going to wait, I have to go. And I do concerts really hardcore where I have to be right at the front.

Yaz:

Every concert's up, and so if you see Ilma alone at a concert just at the mosh pit at the front, you know what she's doing Having the best time ever on her solo date.

Ilmz:

Exactly.

Yaz:

How many times a week should you go on a solo date, or how much Like once a month?

Ilmz:

Yeah, once a month is a great start. One of my friends, she went on a solo date, like a dinner date, to quite a nice restaurant and I guess an old man felt sorry for her and just secretly paid for the bill.

Yaz:

That's actually so lit so that's also an idea.

Ilmz:

Idea you might score a free meal.

Yaz:

I think I would have. You know where I would go on a solo date. It's like a hotel. I don't feel like that's weird because you could be traveling you know what I mean like I'd do that when I'm on holiday, but to go to like my local on a solo date, I would find that quite hard. I'm not going to lie, because I'd be like sup, you know, whereas if I'm in a hotel, I'm like I could just be in the city for one night.

Ilmz:

Like a hotel lobby bar drink.

Yaz:

Yeah.

Ilmz:

Such a vibe, you can like pretend to be a character.

Yaz:

Yeah, that would be fun. You know, what I also would want to do is wear a wig. That's a new, like a solo date, but you can go as a whole different person.

Ilmz:

Oh, my God.

Yaz:

Can we try it? I'm actually so down, but we have to get like a legit wig, legit, legit. It has to look real Okay, we got to put in budget. Another thing that you should do after a breakup is, I said, chuck out their stuff, like chuck out their t-shirts. If you have any, chuck out any of their stuff. I don't want it, don't want to see it, and talk. Talk to your friends about it, to be fair, because that's what they're there for and they should listen to you. Like I know, it's sometimes annoying, like it's annoying sometimes to hear the same story over and over, but you should be able to talk to them or go on reddit and write an anonymous story about how you feel to get it out that is a great way to get it out, because you will have so many different people commenting.

Ilmz:

You get a fresh new perspective and it could help you heal faster and, honestly, that being said, I think it is a good idea to get therapy after a breakup.

Yaz:

It is hard, like it is a journey, to find the right therapist how do you even find the right therapist like I genuinely would have no idea. I just hit up page.

Ilmz:

I just had hit and misses till I found the right one. So I found my right therapist, I think, on the third, go. And then, when you found the right one, so I found my right therapist, I think, on the third, go. And then, when you find the right therapist, oh my days, like you get the best mental clarity. You understand yourself more, you understand the relationship around you more. That includes your friends, family, because that in turn, also impacts your romantic relationships. And when you understand yourself better, you know yourself better. You set better standards for yourself, so that the next partner is going to be better suited to you, because that's what you want at the end of the day someone that is, you know, just perfect for you yeah, and I also think to like end it off is that you shouldn't be too mean to yourself or you shouldn't analyze it too much, because you're gonna feel like crap.

Yaz:

You're gonna feel like crap. You're gonna feel like you could have done better. You're gonna analyze your stuff. You're gonna be hurt.

Ilmz:

You don't need to be pushing in the needle even further treat yourself the way you would treat your best friend going through a breakup. You wouldn't tell your best friend move on, hurry up quickly. Like, why are you still crying? Like the way you would say to yourself yeah, that is actually good advice you.

People on this episode

Head Shot

Ilma Shahrene

Co-host
Head Shot

Yasmin Misner

Co-host