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The Break-Up Diet
Welcome to The Break Up Diet—your weekly dose of self-improvement, glow-ups, and everything breakups (yes, not just the romantic ones). Hosted by Yasmin and Ilma, we’re your no-BS besties here to guide you through every type of breakup—whether it’s from a person, a toxic cycle, or even your old self.
We’re flipping the breakup narrative.
No more heartbreak—just transformation. No more setbacks—only glow-ups. Breakups are the ultimate opportunity to level up, and we’re here to help you do exactly that. Whether it's navigating friendships, situationships, or even kicking bad habits (we see you, vaping!), we’ve got the raw, real talk to help you rebuild and thrive.
Grab your seat, darlings—this is where the best version of YOU begins.
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The Break-Up Diet
Ghosted by Your Bestie? Let's Play Friendship Breakup Bingo
Friendship breakups can hurt more than romantic ones because we expect our friends to be in our lives forever as bridesmaids and godparents to our children.
• Seeing former friends posting with new friends can trigger identity crises and feelings of rejection
• Awkward encounters with former friends can be uncomfortable, especially if confrontation occurs
• Replaying conversations to figure out what went wrong is common after friendship breakups
• Being the friend who always reaches out first can reveal one-sided relationships
• Receiving messages from former close friends can bring back emotional memories
• Looking through old photos and social media "memories" often triggers sadness
• Wanting closure but knowing it's sometimes better to move on
• Learning that people come into our lives for different reasons and seasons
• Understanding that friendship circles naturally evolve as we go through life
• Treating friendship breakups like romantic ones—allowing yourself to grieve and then move forward
Stay positive because no matter how difficult things get, life continues to move forward, and you'll make new connections along the way.
Instagram: @thebreakupdietpod
TikTok: @thebreakupdietpod
Email: thebreakupdietpodcast@gmail.com
Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of the Breakup Diet. We played Breakup Diet Bingo. Let's play Friendship Breakup Bingo.
Yaz:Yeah, so when you're going through a breakup with your friend, these are some common behavior things that you could or might do or have done.
Ilmz:You know we've all been through it and if you haven't- like you're very lucky, because friendship breakups are actually kind of harder than relationship breakups yeah, and that's weird because you're so sad about it because, friends, you think that they're going to be there in your life forever. Yeah, boys come and go, but like the girlhood, the sisterhood, you really think that that's forever let's switch it up.
Yaz:We've been holding back way too much. Welcome to the Breakup Diet. At the end of the day, your friends, you choose your friends and they don't actually have to stick around and that's hard Like they don't have to be your friend.
Ilmz:It teaches you that actually everyone has their own lives, their own path.
Yaz:No one owes anything to anyone yeah, and then like, imagine like you think they're a better friend than they are and you're like would do it for them, and then they don't do it for you. It's also like that's a hard realization too, because you just feel like let down or you just don't feel like maybe our friendship didn't mean as much yeah, maybe it's a one-sided friendship. It hurts okay, let's get into it. It's friendship breaker.
Ilmz:You go first seeing them post with a new best friend and feeling like you've been replaced ding ding, ding. Yeah, that sucks what. What's annoying is that I'm the one that put that group together. Yeah and then for them to hang out without me.
Ilmz:It's like, oh you guys, wouldn't even know each other, if you did, if I didn't introduce you yeah, I went through this last year and I had such an identity crisis because I'm like, oh okay, like, am I likeable, am I too much, am I, am I likable, am I too much, am I this, am I that? When really they're just bitches.
Yaz:Yeah, it sucks. Honestly, you do have an identity crisis because I don't know. It's a different feeling. It actually is a different feeling from a relationship because, like you count on your friends when you're having trouble in your relationship and you really think that they're going to be there if you're going through dark times, but also good times, it's like both.
Ilmz:Yeah, because with friends you like know that they're going to be your bridesmaids at your wedding, like you know that they're going to be your godmothers or for your kid. You know, with men like you can't really fantasize the long term too soon. Or? You know it sometimes feels a bit unrealistic. But with friends it's like no, these are my people, these are my tribe, like yeah, and then when that goes away, you're like what?
Yaz:so how does that? How do you feel now sorry, we're going off bingo, but like how do you feel now, when you're obviously they're obviously a group now and you're just um, well, it's quite validating.
Ilmz:When all my other friends are still there for me, especially with my birthday party, I just realized, oh my god, I've got the best group of friends. Also, they didn't like that friend group, okay, yeah, because at the divorce party they kind of stuck to themselves as opposed to everyone else, kind of mingled and got to know each other like you got to know terry, like you know, like everyone did their part I didn't know anyone.
Yaz:Yeah, yeah, which is crazy.
Ilmz:So you person, yeah, so for that group to just be like yeah, not very welcoming.
Yaz:If your day ones don't like a certain friend group, listen to them yeah, fair, it's also hard to keep friends like you change friends all the time like, even if you don't change like loads of friends all the time like, and not even for a bad reason, like people are on different paths definitely, and like it just goes like that.
Yaz:Sometimes you meet them again, sometimes you don't yeah, and I think it's hard, especially like when you've had uni or you've had like school and you're a group and then you've all been together doing things all the time together, and then obviously life gets in the way after that and you have to like actively try to meet them because everyone's schedule is so busy. Have you ever had FOMO from like looking at their stories of them having so much fun somewhere?
Ilmz:fuck no, fuck, no, no. You know how we were talking about, when some people they organize girls nights for the purpose of meeting men. Okay, yeah, yeah so okay, fair.
Yaz:Or if you see, like if you know them and you've been, like they've taken like loads of fun photos or whatever and like it will these fun stories, but then you know that they're probably not actually having as much fun as it looks like they are they never have as fun as they look like.
Ilmz:They are feeling awkward at events that you run into.
Yaz:I think it is awkward. Yeah, if you're not friends anymore. Oh, it's terrible.
Ilmz:Especially if one of them is like being confrontational, because I had that last year and I'm like, oh shut it. Like what Explain Comes up to me and goes like you know, like sometimes you just don't know what to say. Like the right, like the wrong things at the wrong place, blah, blah, blah, and I'm like that's my sense of humor. You knew blah, blah, blah and I'm like that's my sense of humor. You knew who I was when you chose to be friends with me. Why is that suddenly a problem?
Yaz:yeah, but why did she come up and just like say that straight away, like it was just she didn't say it straight away, sorry.
Ilmz:Basically, I like see, like our other friends, we talk, I'm super civil, and then she goes. I think we should address the elephant in the room and I'm like hang, let's stop this for a sec.
Yaz:Subscribe and follow the Breakup Diet.
Ilmz:You don't want to miss another episode Very fresh, even though it's only last year that this happened. Yeah, fair.
Yaz:Yeah, she was like trying to call you out to make you feel awkward, for sure.
Ilmz:Yeah, for sure. And she's like why don't I call you?
Yaz:And I'm like yeah, well, you should have called you before Call me when it all happened. Yeah, not try to call you out in an event.
Ilmz:Yeah, like nine months after the friendship breakup.
Yaz:Have you had other friends? This is actually a bingo. Have you ever had other friends ask you what happened and you don't really know what to say, because they're still friends with the person or you know what I mean.
Ilmz:Yeah, I get quite honest with. I just call them ogres why, ogres?
Yaz:you're just like they're ogres.
Ilmz:Yeah, I definitely like say my part because I'm just honest like that yeah, fair and it's what people expect from me anyway, like I'm such a babbly honest person yeah, I'm the same.
Yaz:To be fair, I'm gonna tell you because, if not, it's better than not saying it and then bitching about everybody behind their back and also, like I want respect to my name as well.
Yaz:I'm not gonna chicken out if you ask me something yeah, like if you ask me why we're friends, not friends, like I'll say, and if it's something that's like happened and you're not happy about it, you can just be like you can say it in a nice way, you can be like we've had a disagreement and it couldn't be resolved, like you don't have to be a bitch about it, you know what I mean, have you ever replayed a conversation trying to figure out what went wrong?
Yaz:yeah, I have, even if stuff I've known what's gone wrong, like even if I've known what's gone wrong, I probably I always replay conversations 100%, sometimes I'm like damn, was I the problem. Yeah, they always think that, though no, like I feel like that always crosses your mind after you've thought about it so much, even if you feel like you're not yeah, because I'm just like let me try and think of it from their perspective.
Yaz:Maybe I did do something wrong because obviously everyone's not perfect too, like everyone makes mistakes and also people perceive things differently. Maybe sometimes they're a bit similar, but it's still different. So like you can't expect to have the same reaction or handle things the same way. Yeah, I think, as long as you're like open to hearing the other person's side and taking account, being accountable for like your own actions and I think it's I think that's good and that's what you can do, but I don't think you can do anything else. No, have you ever had a friendship and like realized maybe after or realized during, that you were always the person that messaged first?
Ilmz:Oh, my God Story of my life. I'm like the proactive, organized friend. I'm the one, to this day, not with us. To be honest, we've got a really good balance. But I am like the organized friend. I'm always the one that's like okay, guys, who's free? Blah, blah, let's do this holiday. What's the plan? Summer?
Yaz:like, but do you think that's just because you're like very organized and good at it?
Ilmz:yeah, so I don't think that's necessarily just fall into that role in the friend group for life.
Yaz:Yeah, yeah, I hate that role sorry I hate it too, but it's just like.
Yaz:Organizing trips is actually the most stressful thing ever like dinners and stuff that's fun yeah, fine but like, if you're organizing like a girl's trip, yeah, it's fun, but it's also a bit stressful, I think. And especially if you're organizing like a girl's trip, yeah, it's fun, but it's also a bit stressful, I think. And especially if you're going and staying in a hotel, or then I think is really stressful because some people don't want to pay that, but some people are fine to pay that. Some people don't like this and no, no, no, no, no.
Ilmz:You almost have to be like go at this time, I'll see you at the restaurants and I have a pinned message on the group chat being like don't cause any drama. Yeah, If you don't want to come, just don't come.
Yaz:Yeah, exactly.
Ilmz:Talking about them like they're an ex. I've done that.
Yaz:Oh yeah, you have done that, yeah.
Ilmz:To be fair, I haven't. That's a woman with standards right there. Because my ex-best friend I definitely like think about her like an ex and oh my God the tears. I definitely like think about her like an ex and oh my God, the tears. She messaged me on my birthday. I see like a number and a text sounded like a girl and I'm like, so it's definitely not the guys from Raya. And then I kind of just like replied, being like, so what's new with you? To try and figure out who it is. And I figure out it was her and I'm like, oh my God, I'm going to put my phone down because I don't know how to feel about this. This like happened at my birthday dinner. Like, so what did you do? Was it a nice message? At least it was such a nice message that just made me feel so sad. Like all that emotion comes back because this was such a special friend who was there for me when my marriage was bad yeah like I would always go to her.
Ilmz:She sent the nicest message, saying like you know, I'm always here for you whenever you need that's really sweet, though I think that's actually nice, like I know that might have like made you be like oh, but then also she's probably thought about stuff and she obviously misses you too.
Ilmz:Like you know what I mean, like it was really nice, but like I think the first 10 minutes I just it was a lot. Yeah, fair, that would be a lot to be fair. Yeah, and I felt so bad for, like, the friends I was with but they were so understanding like babe, no, it's fine, like someone always comes back on your birthday I think whenever I've had like a friendship breakup or something, it has just been like.
Yaz:But one was like messy and then the other one. We just kind of faded different lives yeah, it happens, doesn't it?
Ilmz:friendships are very interesting. They're very complex, way more complex than we, you know, tell ourselves to be we act like as if relationships are like the big priority thing, but I think friendships is way more important yeah, because I feel like those they should. This is why they should stick by you through the highs and the lows, yeah because I was thinking like I would rather have an amazing group of girlfriends and no boyfriend than to have a good boyfriend, no girlfriends I don't know now.
Yaz:I would always say that before, but now I'm like. The only reason I say this is because when you get older, people stop hanging out and then your partner like becomes your person?
Yaz:yeah, and that's the only reason. I would say that. That freaks me out too. Like you know, when you, if you don't find your partner or you don't, you know, yeah, you don't find them, and then you're the only one and everyone's always in their couples and always doing things together, and then they have kids so they don't even see their friends at all things are changing.
Ilmz:For sure, it's not very traditional anymore. There's a lot of single 30 roles. There's a lot of single 40 roles, like you just find, like your people, as you go through life you're never gonna be alone.
Yaz:Yeah, true, but it's interesting, right like friendships are deep, isn't there a thing about if you've been friends for like a certain amount of?
Ilmz:years, seven years only seven that's not that long.
Yaz:Like it's long, but it's not that long in friendship. Like yeah, especially if you don't see them all the time, like that goes fast? Yeah, no, it does. Definitely have you ever had it? So you've gone through the friendship breakup and then like wanted to reach out and say something like closure, or just stopped yourself yes, all the time.
Ilmz:So there are like friends that I will never have answers to about why it ended. You just have to make peace with it and move on with your life yeah, literally you're doing.
Yaz:it's hard, though, but you get there, yeah, yeah, it's god saying that like they shouldn't, for whatever reason not that they're a nasty person, but they shouldn't be in your life at this moment, and maybe they'll come back.
Ilmz:Maybe they won't Exactly Like. We're all going through our own journeys in life. Have you avoided mutual friends to like not talk about it? The friendship breakup.
Yaz:I haven't had it recently, but like, if I had, I would you know what I mean. Like if I had it now, if I haven't had it before, because it was only like individual friends that I had it with, not like whole group. But yeah, if I had it now, like with my friends now, I would. It's awkward and also you don't like even they're obviously going to talk about it with each other.
Ilmz:There's just no need to invite that kind of negativity to your name.
Yaz:Yeah, and even if you, like, still are, are friends with everybody, you haven't fallen out.
Ilmz:It's just that maybe see them individually definitely, but I've been that messy mutual that's asked people hey, I've noticed you guys don't hang out anymore. What happened?
Yaz:what to people that you've seen?
Ilmz:oh no, I was like hey, like I've noticed, like I know that you guys have moved out, but like you guys don't hang out, what's up?
Ilmz:Yeah but I don't think you were saying that necessarily like knowing that they were. Yeah, I didn't do it to like pry, but I like I did ask and then, like when they told me that they had a friendship breakup, I'm like this feels like a divorce to me. Like you guys were like the pinnacle of friendship I'm not even kidding, like I loved seeing their content together, just being super funny and yeah, well, that makes me sad, really sad. Friendship breakups hit like I literally had to be like oh my god bless. Like I was a bit messy, with my reaction being like wait what? Because, like I told them, I'm like I really thought that you guys were best friends till the end and I would go over to their place because they needed models to glam up and stuff, so we'd have like such great banter and I would feel like they're a kid kind of oh my god, that's so sad.
Ilmz:Oh, I hate friendship breakups. Just be friends forever. That's why we have the bracelet. Okay, looking through old photos and feeling sad.
Yaz:Yeah, like it also.
Ilmz:Apple like does get you on that like with the reminders instagram with this time last year and you're like oh, this time last year I was in ibiza with you. It's so much fun, not anymore.
Yaz:Yeah, well, we'd like promise each other we're gonna be best friends forever like it's just a different part of life, just different time, you know, and there might be better times that come that is true.
Ilmz:There will always be better times, because sometimes I think I don't think we've lived our bestest days no, I hope not yeah, I actually hope not. Yeah, like as amazing as life has been, especially the last two weeks, I just know there's more and better coming. There we go.
Yaz:Has your ex ever hit up your old friend and you found out.
Ilmz:Oh yeah, he would like like their pictures and I'm like what are you trying to achieve? They all think you're ugly dude, he liked your pics too.
Yaz:No, no, I never followed him and I have talked shit about him on here before being a good friend, trying to beast you up, or being a good friend trying to beast you up.
Ilmz:You know that's the breakup diet.
Yaz:You just got to be there for one another and I'm sure he's a good person. He's just not good for you.
Ilmz:Yeah, that's just how it is with relationships and friendships, Like, at the core of it, all the people from my past. They're not bad people. It's just so that sometimes it just doesn't work out.
Yaz:Yeah, and I think that's okay. It's just like hard to realize it sometimes and even if it wasn't good, I feel like you hold on sometimes to things just because of history or just because of the familiarity you know what I mean not actually because it's like right and you know it's right, but it's hard to let go.
Ilmz:But once you get there, it's quite liberating it is back to bingo have you ever dreamt of like making up with someone but just known, you know, oh I've dreamt about my like ex-friends and I like sometimes dream about like where I'm like begging them.
Yaz:It's really weird that is weird, what? Just begging them to be friends with you again, yeah, or begging them to forgive you?
Ilmz:Yeah, begging to be friends with them, be like, see, I told you I'm not the problem, like that kind of thing.
Yaz:Did they say that you were the problem?
Ilmz:Yeah, uh-huh, that's me. It all happened during. Just well, we'll talk about it in another episode.
Ilmz:But basically, when you're on the path of self-improvement, these friends who actually don't want you to do better than them, they'll just drop like flies you would think that they would want to be around though, yeah, and it kind of makes me think that, like, actually I think people want to be there for the bad times, for the tea, and not for the good times, because they think that you're a threat flattering. But it's just, it really has changed my perception in friendships and who's genuine yeah, I don't think.
Yaz:Yeah, to be fair, I don't think you know who's genuine until, like you've been through the good and the bad, yeah, and both extremes off it. Yeah, I agree with that it's easy to be around, like with all, like good times and like fun times, so then when you like really need someone, if they're actually there too, I think it's like a thing, so I can go both ways oh, it can, 100 for sure go both ways.
Ilmz:It's just the lesson that I've learned personally is they'll always be there for the bad time they loved, like hearing the tea about my husband and blah, blah, blah. And then soon as I'm like glowing up like dating kind of hotter which I did, like miami and like that kind of situation.
Yaz:He was hot he was really hot. I was shocked and I remember it because I remember I didn't think it was your type. And then I was like how is that not anyone's type? That's a type and a half, because I've seen your type.
Ilmz:That's a type and a half. Because I've seen your type, babe, that's not my type. My ex was like an act of psychosis after a divorce. Okay, fair, fair. Everyone else that you've seen me like kind of talk to date, they have been quite classic looking.
Yaz:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Rebranding.
Ilmz:We're rebranding guys. Have you ever seen a meme and known like only they would get it, or wanted to like send it, or you know what I mean? Yeah, when you see something that reminds you of your inside jokes and you're like, oh, I can't send them anymore because they're not in my life.
Yaz:Yeah well, you like go to send it and you're like oh, I'll just send it. Like I can't or I'll just send it to you yeah, I have to just shove it up, my ass.
Ilmz:Yeah, it's actually so sad that dude I'm getting so depressed, I know, yes, we need like a friendship coach, therapist, I know we've had a breakup coach. Can we get someone for friendship please? I'm like, actually I don't know. I'm going through a lot you're gonna be fine.
Yaz:This is a positive podcast, like. No, it is a positive podcast we're. We're just telling you guys about different types of common things that you could do after, like behavior things or like that, like most people, if you've not done one, you might've done the other ones. You know it's not necessarily to make you feel bad or whatever, because some of these things are kind of funny too, like it's not funny feeling like rejected and hurt and left out or whatever, or like losing a good friend. Some of these situations can be. They're not funny in the time but they might be funny after, because they're so outrageous, you just can only laugh.
Yaz:Or you might be so awkward in them and then you're like, oh my God, I can't even like.
Ilmz:I geeked out, I'm such a loser, yeah, yeah.
Yaz:Or you also might, just you might feel validated too, Like one of these things might happen. But then something else.
Ilmz:We hope you feel validated from all of this, like that's what we're trying to do.
Yaz:We're all in it together. We are all in it together and if you're going through a friendship breakup, you've got to just like, treat it like a normal breakup and cry and try to feel better, but don't reanalyze stuff so much Like obviously analyze it to a point. Reanalyze it to learn the lesson and then move on and take accountability, yeah, for like the way that you might have handled some things but then after you just gotta let it go 100 and you will always meet people as you go in your path, always yeah, that's also another thing.
Yaz:Like people come in and out all the time and it's not even necessarily because they don't like you or whatever it's just different. We all go through life differently, you know yeah, and also you might meet a new person.
Yaz:It's like you know what I mean you might make a new friend, yeah when you get older, your friendship group naturally probably gets smaller, like if it hasn't already, everyone has it, because do you see old people without many friends, like maybe my mom's just an exception, but like, yeah, I was gonna say like my parents every time I go back home I'm like new friend, new friend no, my parents have lots of friends. Yeah, but like close, close friends.
Ilmz:Oh, their inner cycle has always stayed the same.
Yaz:For the last like 30 years, I feel like the, I know who would be their like top few, like if something really went wrong, because they would really help. But then they have lots of other friends. But I find that hard, I find that really hard to do Like if you're my friend, I kind of want you to be like A forever thing.
Ilmz:Yeah. Yeah, that's what I do as well. Like I have the intention to be friends with someone forever.
Yaz:Yeah. Or if you're my friend but I don't, like I think you're like a fair word of where the friend. I won't actually engage fully, like that's, but I find that really hard, but like I think I've learned that over the years, yeah you get me, I get you just the lessons of friendship and life, yeah, but stay positive because it only gets better. Seriously, yeah, and it might get worse, but then it will get better.
Ilmz:You know what I mean?
Yaz:it's up and down, it's waves better, seriously, yeah, and it might get worse, but then it will get better. You know what I mean. It's up and down, it's waves but it's linear.
Ilmz:It will just go up, no matter how down it goes yeah, yeah, stay strong.
Yaz:Love you guys and thank you for listening. Bye you.
