The Break-Up Diet

Detach. Delete. Discover Who You Are Without Them.

• Yasmin Misner and Ilma Shahrene • Season 1 • Episode 48

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Ever caught your ex pretending your life was theirs? 👀 From stealing holiday photos for Instagram highlights to dating within your circle of friends, the breakup drama can get messy.

In this episode of The Break-Up Diet, Yasmin & Ilma dive into:
✨ Lifestyle theft and the audacity of exes
✨ Awkward overlap when exes date your friends
✨ The struggle of detaching when your brain still craves the familiar
✨ First dates after breakups (tears, dread, and unexpected triggers)
✨ How heartbreak actually teaches you confidence, boundaries & clarity

This isn’t just about the drama — it’s about taking your power back. Detach. Delete. Discover who you are without them.

💌 Subscribe for more raw, relatable breakup stories and healing advice every week!

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Yaz:

Ilma. Am I being psycho or am I not being psycho? Context please. What have you done? Why do I have I done? You don't know what has he done.

Ilmz:

Do we need to murder someone? I mean maybe.

Yaz:

Let's switch it up. We've been holding back way too much. Welcome to the Breakup Diet. Am I allowed to feel like this is weird? You break up with someone, they never have a highlight story, and now they suddenly have a highlight story. The only highlight story that isn't related to their job is our first holiday I ever took them on Like your holiday home yeah, my holiday home and also the Monica Grand Prix. Am I allowed to feel like that's weird? Never up there before and now suddenly it's up there.

Ilmz:

Oh my God, you're handling it so much calmer than I am, because I would have gone batshit, what the hell. Oh, no, no.

Yaz:

I did go batshit. I did Because about three people sent it to me being like that's really weird and being like that's really weird, and I was like, yeah, that is weird. And then, when the third person sent it to me, I was like, nah, that is weird, I'm going to message. So I sent her a message being like that is weird, that you're obviously using this to try to get girls to flex. So you have some lifestyle. I'm like you didn't pay for it, it's your lifestyle. I'm getting lifestyle catfished Lifestyle fished.

Ilmz:

It's like identity theft, but with like lifestyle lifestyle theft.

Yaz:

I'm having lifestyle theft from my ex. Hang on, let's stop this for a sec. Subscribe and follow the breakup diet you don't want to miss another episode get why guys get pissed off when girls like you know when they take them away and then they're like I don't know, posting videos and stuff because I'm like I know how it feels I am speechless dude and let me just drop in another thing.

Yaz:

I haven't I haven't told ilma any of this, purely for this reaction also took out my friend on a date, your friend, yeah, who, this girl that I used to be friends with years ago, right To be fair, like I wasn't following him anymore or anything like this. We had each other blogs, so, like on Instagram, you couldn't see mutuals or anything, and like she was a friend from years ago and I hadn't seen her in ages, but like we had organized how funny is this? We had organized a meetup right, her and I that week. Anyway, yeah, michael enters, I'm like God. And then I saw it, and I that week, anyway, yeah, michael Inters, I'm like God. And then I saw it and I was like, oh no, because I just know Like he's active, active on the Instagram, as you know, because he's been looking at even your friends' stories and all this sort of stuff and being like isn't that Yasmin's ex?

Yaz:

Yes, the horny one is Yasmin's ex. Yeah, she didn't know. And then I saw on Instagram and all I said to her was like, hey, how do you know this guy? And she was like Raya. I was like, oh okay, that's my ex. And I was like, look, it's not my place to say you can go there or not. I just thought I'd tell you, as we're going for dinner and like it looked like I was setting you up. Otherwise, like I've just said, I've worked that out, just so you know, if you want to go there, it's not my, it's not my thing. Like obviously probably would be a bit awkward for me and I probably wouldn't like be that, like wanting to hang out that much, knowing you know yeah, I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who's with my yeah, yeah.

Yaz:

But also I was like, I was like it's not my place to say you can't go there, sorry, I was gonna say, if she wants him for the lifestyle, she's better off dating you. I know, listen, he didn't provide any lifestyle, I can tell you that much. Which is fine, which is fine. I wasn't with him because of that, but don't, I don't keep that after my lifestyle.

Ilmz:

Yeah, leave my lifestyle out of this. It's so invasive that it's like your house he was posting up at. Yeah, that's crazy to me. Yeah to, not that yeah that's crazy to me, yeah, and also just like it's just a bit weird to put on the timing of it.

Yaz:

It's like weird, disrespectful as fuck oh yeah, no, no, it's so disrespectful, but he admitted that after I didn't. He didn't say disrespectful, but he admitted after that it's wrong, not wrong yeah, yeah, no he's doing it to get girls. Okay, if he had that highlight story up from when we were dating. Yeah, I get it you know what I mean and just didn't remove it. But the only thing in there besides his fucking stuff is that that is crazy, dude.

Ilmz:

I feel like the effort that men make to get 10 minutes of sex is like insane. Yeah, because that's what it is for to get laid, get girls, yeah and you know how.

Yaz:

You know guys normally like I'm being very like general, but guys only buy girls gifts and all this sort of stuff. I like to spoil whoever I'm with. Like, I'm just like that like yeah, yeah but I have to have something in return to feel like I want to keep doing you want it to feel like a partnership, yeah, like even if it's not like getting loads of gifts, but you have to feel like you really like special you want initiative from the partner.

Ilmz:

Basically, yeah anyway.

Yaz:

Now I know how that feels too, because apparently he's gone on dates and the girls have been like oh, I love your style. And he's like literally everything I've worn in front of this girl has been you've bought me. Oh, and I'm like yeah, I should have left you in your tight guinea jeans oh my god but it's funny how the world works too.

Yaz:

Like what is the chances? I have not seen this friend in so long. And then we organize the meetup and then, like one, I unblock him because I see all this sort of stuff and I'm getting sent all this sort of stuff and I was like okay, so I unblocked him. And then I see that she's following him and he's following her and I'm like, oh, interesting.

Ilmz:

Yeah, did he know she was a friend of yours? He says no better to be naive, honestly.

Yaz:

Yeah, but then also, if I'm seeing a guy on raya and see that we have mutuals, I'm also even any guy I'm the full background check on social media before I'm going on a date with them. I don't know, but I trust her and what she says yeah, yeah. So I don't actually I don't blame her for going on a date.

Ilmz:

Oh no, no, no, she's not to be blamed at all, no.

Yaz:

I think he probably knew, but probably didn't fucking care. Yeah, I mean, he obviously doesn't care in general, he just cares about more what Getting who actually knew him. I think with people going through a breakup, you can't say like, oh, you can't get closure, you need to get closure this way or that way. Like I've had quite a few conversations now after where I thought that I'd had closure, this is the first time I feel like I fully have like, oh no, I'm okay, like you are done and I'm actually very secure, which I did not realise.

Yaz:

You are I very secure, which I did not realize you are. I thought I was an insecure person like in my breakup.

Ilmz:

Oh yeah, yeah, you know what I mean, like attached and all this sort of stuff.

Yaz:

Yeah, I thought that I wasn't secure you are dude, you are good.

Ilmz:

This is like the best you've ever been, the best you've ever looked like, but I mean like I don't. I don't feel a need to like seek validation from men and fake a fucking lifestyle.

Yaz:

I don't, I don't care like honestly if a really nice guy comes along and like we vibe, that's cool. But like I don't need to like go on my instagram and hit likes to everyone. Like to feel, or go on how many dates to feel like good about myself, like I'm happy being alone babe, that's just how it always is.

Ilmz:

Like women, they just like find themselves after a breakup and they feel so like secure and good about themselves and it reflects in their skin and the way they look these men. They just cheapen their worth and just date, date, follow, unfollow, like it's just giving such porn addict behavior, yeah Ugh. I know I like ugh, no, no, it's just not for us and, honestly, it leads to their own journey.

Yaz:

But it does suck, like even at the start. Like it's a weird thing you go through because your brain like literally latches on to like what you had, even if it wasn't great, you latch on to like what you had, even if it wasn't great, you latch on to like still wanting it.

Yaz:

No, that detachment phase is crazy yeah, because even though you know it's not right, even though you don't really like them, even though you were like, okay, I was settling all this sort of stuff, it doesn't matter no, exactly because your brain was used to like being a certain type of way and having someone there.

Ilmz:

It is like even if they weren't really there no, yeah, there was still like a connection there, and you need to train your brain to basically switch it off and I believe that with breakups and stuff and with relationships, I really believe you keep getting your lesson until you like.

Yaz:

You keep getting the same cycle until you learn your lesson.

Ilmz:

100 babe so the lesson will show up and show up till you've learned it.

Yaz:

Yeah, yeah, yeah I'm gonna have to say this. You know what he said to me on the phone, what he goes yeah, like I just wish you paid for more shit. That's disgusting. Yes, wait, you didn't even pay for the taxes down to such to pay and he. And then he had the audacity after to say that you shut him up quick, right, yes, I said shut up. I was like that's a joke. Yeah, you paid for dinner, but we barely went for dinner and also, I also did pay for a few dinners. Don't make shit up.

Ilmz:

But on a positive note because he was like that level.

Yaz:

It's so easy for you to go up that level with the next person honestly, I just want somebody that's nice and like, wants that relationship, even like with their minimum.

Ilmz:

You're gonna find that so easily. Literally anyone you date after this is gonna be like 10 times better than him. Yeah, I hope so.

Yaz:

Oh, 100, it's such an easy benchmark to pass with breakups, you just got to take them step by step, because you might go backwards, you might go forwards, you just don't know no, you don't know like and you don't know when you're gonna get it, even the closure. Like you can't say one month I'm gonna have this closure, you don't know. I thought I would have got my closure before.

Ilmz:

I did. It does take time, like it's such a deep like, especially if you guys were intimate and together for so long, like so much history, like things will come up.

Yaz:

Obviously, everybody has different things in general, but like intimacy and that sort of thing is so like for me. I'm like actually quite like private on that sort of stuff. It took me a long time to to like open up to him even slightly. I didn't fully ever open up to him. I don't think we're just so like weird saying, but I never felt really really fully comfortable.

Yaz:

Thank fucking god yeah like now thank god, yeah, yeah like obviously my body was telling me before oh yeah, so that's the reason I never fully, fully did, but I did a lot and you miss the person like. I miss the person like we would talk all the time. He was like my friend, he was like my, my best friend for two years. So like, even though, like, if we had ups and downs, like you do lose that you miss the friendship.

Yaz:

It's hard, yeah, and even when on this call we were speaking and, yeah, the first start of it I was like what the fuck are you doing? Basically, yeah, and it wasn't that nice. But then at the end for me I felt like it was kind of weird, because it was kind of like we were talking like friends and it was like so yeah. Horrible.

Ilmz:

It's just like the turn off the leaves yeah.

Yaz:

But tune in to when we bump into each other, because I don't think I'll actually do anything. But, like Jesus, my reaction I don't know what, I don't think I'll say anything, I don't think I'll do anything, but like I might die a bit inside or I might get the ick. Honestly, I hope he goes back to his old-fashioned style and then it will be very easy.

Ilmz:

Oh, I think you're going to get the ick anyway.

Yaz:

Or imagine if he's wearing everything I bought him.

Ilmz:

That would give me the ick.

Yaz:

He probably will be no one else is going to buy him something that was nice, no, no, no, I might have to spill a drink on it. Sorry, don't wear white Red wine. Red wine yeah, red wine. I'm just like go over it.

Yaz:

On a date murder on a date on a date, spill the red wine and be like well, at least you can't buy. Wear the jumper I bought you anymore sucks to be you and the girl's like you bought you still wear your asus jumper. Oh messy, that would be funny. I mean, this is all a fantasy Like some people get off on porn.

Yaz:

I'm getting off on like Fantasy, fantasizing my run-in. Yeah, elma, I have a question for you. So what did you have when you went on your first date, after your first breakup? Like your first? What did you feel? Or was it good, or was after your first breakup like your first? What did you feel? Or was it good, or was it bad, or like what do you remember?

Ilmz:

anything from your first date post breakup. Oh my god, yes, so this was last year. It was on the lead up. Like on the lead up to the date I was dreading it. Like I was with my friend just before and I was texting and he's like, will you text me? I'm like, oh, I think I want to go on a date with raya guy. He's like, dude, really like, do you really want to go? And I'm like, no, but like, like, what else is there to do on a saturday night? Like I've got nothing going on. How long after was it six months?

Ilmz:

okay, wow fair, fair, fair, okay, yeah, and then went, had the best time, did you? Yeah, like the first, like five minutes actually. No, maybe the lead up like especially like walking to the table. You know, when he sees you and you're like walking to the table and like his eye contact, I was like, oh my god, like can I do this? And I sat down and like the first thing he said was like you look really beautiful and I'm like okay, and also because he was really hot, I I'm like okay, whatever happens happen, and we like end up having like a nine hour date. That's so nice, it was like perfect. But dates this year has just not been it. That's nice. You had a nice experience, yeah, like a nice first date. Yeah. Then saw him like two weeks after in miami.

Yaz:

I was my oh we always talk about miami man. Miami man, I know, I see that I see that I would have got so clumsy. I'm like, I'm so clumsy, like I'm actually so embarrassing, don't get me wrong.

Ilmz:

I was very like icky. Like you know when I how I am when I flirt, I was like that, worse, I'm probably like spit in the corner of my mouth like.

Yaz:

You see me on a, like I'm I. I honestly think I need a drink before, because if I go in cold, I'm like why am I being so awkward? Because I'm not even.

Ilmz:

I'm not awkward like do I have like mobility, like issues?

Yaz:

like I just don't understand my spatial awareness, like I'm always knocking over something. Or like you know, when you go through the tables and they're close together, like my ass is like knocking over the salt and pepper on the other table, I'm like, oh sorry or like even like the corner of your shoes like the court heels, it like points into a table.

Yaz:

Yeah, you're like oh I have a really bad temperature control in my body, like it does not work full stop and if I'm even remotely a bit like not ultra, ultra calm, which is pretty much all the time, I will have a sweat attack. I, honestly, you know what I need to have. I need to invest in one of those electric fans and I'll just pop it out of my bag and just like yeah but. But it's a bit awkward on a date you walk up with like an electric fan, they're like what the fuck?

Ilmz:

Just like, have it on your lap and they'll see, like your hair like magically blow, like what?

Yaz:

Yeah, what is going on? But yeah, the first date is awkward, but the lead up to it.

Ilmz:

It just sucks because your mind is like overthinking.

Yaz:

And I feel like if you don't like, you always don't want to go like. I don't think I've wanted to go.

Ilmz:

No offense to anyone I've been on a date with I never want to go on the date and then when I'm there I'm like, okay, actually this isn't mad yeah just like the leader, but even like getting ready, I'm like I don't want to do this I know this is maybe because I was younger before.

Yaz:

When went on dates I used to glokey, think about things that I would talk about if I like. It went silent.

Ilmz:

I would go silent because I'm yapping. Okay, fair, yeah, fair.

Yaz:

For me. I used to like get. This was maybe because I hadn't dated that many people, but I was like worried about I don't know if it went silent, if they were going to like me and all this, I'm not squirming, I'll sit there and drink my drink again. Yeah, yeah, balls on your court. Yeah, like if I don't want to talk to you.

Ilmz:

I won't talk to you. Yeah, yeah, you got to make it interesting. Yeah, make it worth my time. Yeah, yeah, have you ever had an awkward date? No, but I've had a date that's like ended awkwardly.

Ilmz:

That's about it but it's just a kissing in the car one yeah, where he like tried to kiss me in the car on the first date and I was like nah, and he got really angry and I'm like okay, like the uber driver's right there, like I don't really want to have our first kiss in the toyota prius, you know like yeah, standards yeah I don't know if I told you what.

Yaz:

I went on a date and this was like it wasn't even my first date, but like it was like I don't know. I was obviously feeling emotional and I went on a date and like he basically said something this is like quite a bit in and like I don't drink that, like I don't drink that much, it's like I was a bit tipsy or drunk, I'm not sure. Anyway, he like said something that reminded me of my ex and I fully burst out crying. Ilma, not a little bit. When I cry I can't stop as well. I'm talking niagara falls, black eyeliner everywhere swimming on my face, swimming. So then he was like do you want to go to the bathroom? I said, yeah, I'll go to the bathroom. No idea why I'm crying. It was so long ago, this, no idea. He was like yeah, yeah, don't worry, I get it. I'm like yeah, so long ago, because it wasn't.

Yaz:

It's not like super close, but it also is not that long like yeah, anyway went to the bathroom, sorted myself out, came back and then obviously tried to like justify why I was crying, because, like it was very out of the blue anyway, started crying again because I was trying to justify why I was crying, which made me think about it. Had to go to the bathroom again and then, bless him, he tried to kiss me and I was like no, read the room.

Yaz:

No, I'm crying here for my ex. He tried to kiss me. Dude, I know you can't kiss me, men are so easy. Then kiss me too. I know you can't kiss me, men are so easy. Then I had to send a message being like look, I think you're really nice. And also he was so sweet, like he did nothing wrong. He's so sweet, so nice, perfect gentleman, all this good looking, whatever. But I was like I think me crying over my ex means I shouldn't be on a date.

Ilmz:

Yeah, you know, no need to rush, no need to go on a date. Like these men are there and these men are easy, like it's fine but what goes to your head?

Yaz:

to try to kiss somebody when they're crying about their ex man? They're just maybe I wasn't clear that it was obviously about my ex.

Ilmz:

But I mean, but even then, like I wouldn't want to get with someone who just cried like it's weird yeah, it's a bit predatory, if anything yeah, yeah, glad that's done. Yeah, yeah, first dates are weird, breakups are weird. It's all just a crazy journey. You'll learn new things, different day.

Yaz:

I wonder what my next breakup I'll be like. I wonder if it'll be easier. Might be depending on how long it? Is. I think also it depends on how intense your relationship was. My relationship wasn't intense and I still reacted like that, so I don't know if it was intense.

Ilmz:

Ilma, I think we might have to have another show, like they have to have a two-part series of like we'd have to film way more frequently yeah, yeah, breakup diet squared, yeah, yeah, it would be a lot, it would be a lot, it would be a lot, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there. If we get there, we will. Men are so easy, dude.

Yaz:

No, if we get there, I don't want to have another breakup.

Ilmz:

Oh sorry, yeah, no, touch wood Wood. Yeah, you got this. Yeah, you got this too.

Yaz:

You were the great help of the breakup. Oh, I was barely doing shit. No, you did, you did. You gave me some pep talk. You were brutal too soon, like you was. Oh, we didn't even air this episode because ilma gave me. I took it too far, like it was correct, but I was not ready to hear such a thing you were like too far. I don't know how to read the room yeah, but yes, you weren't happy and I was like let's not talk about that just yet I was like.

Ilmz:

I know I wasn't happy, but don't fucking say that yeah, sorry I, but I'm glad, like you found the light. You know your worth, you know what you want. You're so much independent, confident in yourself.

Yaz:

Yeah, so that is a good thing for my breakup, yeah, which I have to give him props for like he was actually good for me as well, although he's good for me in many ways, like he obviously he's given us loads of content for this. Thank you. And then, thank you very much. We've got a lot more listeners. He made me a lot more confident as a person, which is like I needed that out of everything. I needed that the most, probably, and like I don't really need anything else, but like I needed that at that time yeah, so thank you for that.

Ilmz:

No, exactly each relationship's like serve a purpose.

Yaz:

They serve a great lesson, like there's nothing bad yeah, and you know what you want, like you know. I know that I want somebody that's actually like my boyfriend who's actually there in the same.

Ilmz:

Yeah, you know what I mean.

Yaz:

Like not even the same city, but it's actually just like in a relationship, because they want to be in a relationship, not just to fill some time yeah, I agree.

Ilmz:

So good and bad things, good and bad things, but they're all fun in between.

Yaz:

Yeah, the wild roller coaster it really is thanks guys for listening and tune in for next week. Yeah, you, you, you, you you.

People on this episode

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Ilma Shahrene

Co-host
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Yasmin Misner

Co-host