The Break-Up Diet

Maria from Love Is Blind UK: Don’t Settle for Less Than You Deserve.

• Yasmin Misner and Ilma Shahrene • Season 1 • Episode 46

Share episode

Maria Benkharmaz from Love Is Blind UK is here and she is NOT holding back. We get into everything — why she refuses to settle, how she deals with people judging her dating preferences, and the one question she asks herself when a guy’s behaviour feels off: “If you had a daughter, would you want her to put up with this?” (Spoiler: the answer is usually no).

Maria spills on what it was really like filming Love Is Blind, the moments you didn’t see on screen, and the pressure to shrink yourself to make other people comfortable. She shares how she’s built unshakeable confidence, even when thousands of strangers had opinions about her love life, and why walking away from the wrong person is actually the biggest flex.

We also get into modern dating culture, why everyone’s waiting for the “next best thing,” and why there’s literally no expiration date on finding your person (Maria’s sister met her perfect match at 34). If you’ve ever been told your standards are “too high,” this is your reminder to keep them exactly where they are — and maybe even raise them.

Send us a text

Instagram: @thebreakupdietpod

TikTok: @thebreakupdietpod

Email: thebreakupdietpodcast@gmail.com

Ilmz:

Welcome to the Breakup Diet. This is Yaz. I'm Ilms. Today we have got the most exciting guest I know. I say this about fucking everyone but this one. I kid you not. When I met her last year, when she was fresh out of the pods, of Love is Blind, if that gives you a hint I ran up to her and was like you have spoken for all of us women that have standards, so if you guys are 50-50, stay triggered, because this episode is going to make you mad. Welcome to the breakup diet, maria.

Yaz:

Let's switch it up. We've been holding back way too much.

Ilmz:

Welcome to the Breakup Diet.

Yaz:

I mean your highness Ilma shut up Ilma, you're in crack.

Ilmz:

I'm really starstruck. I think I might cry, because you mean a lot to me. Are you a fire sign? Yeah, of course you are.

Maria:

Aries, are you Aries as well?

Ilmz:

I'm the Aries Wow we're like this. The way you were on. Love is blind. I have never seen that kind of behavior on reality tv ever I don't see it from women of color, because we're kind of told to kind of keep yeah, for sure so to see yourself, to see you stand up for yourself, have boundaries and both, and be so strict with that and being fearless from walking away with something that's not right for you you're so inspiring thank you, my love. We need more role models like you.

Maria:

Sure I've been thinking about the whole minimizing and shrinking yourself and I feel like women of color and just women, you're always kind of taught to shrink yourself and minimise. Thinking about it a lot recently, I'm like why? Because those people that are telling you to minimise and shrink yourself, they're not going to like you regardless of anything. So why try and put yourself into a box that you don't fit for someone who's not going to like you, like live yourself, be your too muchness, whatever it is, because your too muchness is going to be like not enough for someone and they'll they'll love every part of it like, you will always find your tribe.

Ilmz:

Yes, you'll find your girlfriends.

Maria:

You'll find the right person if you're being your true, authentic self, 100% what's meant for you won't pass you by 100% and I think as well, like the people that, like you, will love it yeah, did you go on.

Yaz:

Love is blind because you like had a like breakup and then you ended up going on a show to like find, you know, like the last hope of love, or why?

Maria:

No, honestly, I've never been like cheated on. I've never had my heart broken, like my slate is quite clean. For me it was like a build-up of a lot of stuff. So my, I hadn't really dated a lot like my. I'm Muslim, I'm Moroccan, and it's just so frowned upon. I just kind of stayed away from it and it would like dip in and out, but just kind of never. It was never a priority. One because of like the whole religion side of things. And two, I just it's never been something I've been like core focused on.

Maria:

And so then my dad passed away and I like took some time to like get through that and I was just kind of like I'm ready and because I was a fan of Love is Blind, was like what, imagine, this goes the way I want it to. Like haven't really dated, like no heartbreak, and then I get to come out and be married. So that's why I went for it. It wasn't like, uh, I'm sick and tired of the men, even though you know they're not great, but it wasn't because I was like running away from that. I just thought this would be an amazing experience if it went the way I wanted it to hang on, let's stop this for a sec, subscribe and follow the breakup diet.

Ilmz:

You don't want to miss another episode so it's been one year on coming out of the pods, the show being out. Season two is just coming out as well. Where are you like, mentally, physically, spiritually?

Maria:

mentally, physically, spiritually, like best place I've ever been it was a lot when the show came out, that's for sure. It was a lot to deal with. It's a lot to like digest. You learn a lot about yourself. You like look back a lot and feel like god, did I do this the right way? Could it have been done better? Should I've done it at all?

Maria:

must be crazy, like because you go from people not knowing you to like, bang, like, and they know such vulnerable things about you, because love is blind is a bit more of a like a mature audience and a mature cast. It is so emotionally driven and because you have people constantly like how are you feeling? What's going on? Like you really do have like a mirror sat in front of you, being like oh my god, these are all the things I've done wrong in the past and like this is all the things that are wrong with me, and so every day it's just so emotional and I think that's why a lot of us were like crying all the time or sad, and but I can look back now in a completely different headspace and like I'm so clear in terms of what I want and like who I want to be and who I want to be with that I can only kind of look at it as a positive. If I'm being honest, like a year on, I'm very happy.

Maria:

Have you had a breakup since the show? So when the show first came out because of homeboy, I was so deterred off men, like didn't want anything to do with them. I think it would be like beginning of this year I was like right now's the time today, and like you know what you want. You've never been more sure you know who you are. So it hasn't been any breakups and hasn't even been much dating, but I'm open to dating now, so you're in a good spot. Yeah, like I'm actually talking to men now, which I did not want to do for a long time.

Ilmz:

How does that feel to get back into it? Because I'm struggling to get back into it.

Maria:

You know what it is. I just feel like life's too short. You know, like you go through breakups and heartache and situationships and all these things and like you're like I don't ever want to speak to a man and blah, but it's like why would I let another man hold me back from? Like another man that could potentially be grey for me, like I am all or nothing. So I'm literally jumping in at the deep end, like and I'm gonna date as much as possible and like experience as much as possible and get to know different types of men. Like I'm in in the moment, I'm not going for my usual type. So, like all the men that I am talking to are completely different, because I feel like if you really want to find your person, then you have to completely step outside of what you know.

Ilmz:

By usual type. Please don't tell me you're dabbling with 50-50s, Are you?

Maria:

out of your mind.

Ilmz:

Well, you said usual type. I got a bit scared.

Maria:

No no, no, my usual type was never 50-50. I, my usual type was never 50 50. I want to put that out there. He was the first and the last of that kind. Um, my usual type.

Maria:

Physically, I mean, I've never. This is another thing. With the 50 50 thing, I've never experienced that before him. I didn't know they existed. Like you'd hear funny stories, you're like those don't exist. No man would genuinely be like that. And then I experienced him and I was like they are out there, like this is wild. So that's not my usual type. I will never experience that again in my life. Yeah, no, I meant like physical. Okay, I used to have a type but honestly, after love is blind, that type went completely out the window. And they say the women that are the most successful in finding their partner and having a successful marriage are the women that are just consistently dating. Yeah, I saw like this dating guru and he said the most successful marriages and the women that are most successful are the ones that are consistently date, like literally dating different men every week full-time job though that is so much effort even to like reply to people.

Yaz:

I know that sounds really bad but it's like, especially if you're not 100% like on the type, and then you're like, oh, do I just do it? But then like, imagine if someone was looking at you saying that same thing, like, do you think we're?

Maria:

so pretty. Sometimes, when hinge says this is your most compatible, I'm like where's the gun? Because what do you mean?

Yaz:

this is my most compatible, had that too, and I'm like, are you sure? Yeah, I mean you look in the mirror and you're like, really no, what was it that you see? Yeah, why are we most compatible.

Maria:

But you know what Jasmine is such a good example of date? Because Jasmine, before Bobby, like we talk about it all the time. She sends me pictures. So I used to date this guy, date that guy. I went on dates with this guy when it came to love is blind, like even love is blind. She was so like she dated a few of them, like quite seriously, until she got to bobby. And I feel like because she dated so much and experienced so many different men that when it was exactly what she was looking for she knew. And I now look at her so I'm like right, don't just go on dates with people that immediately when you talk to them you're like yeah, this is amazing, go on, even go on the dates, even with the slow burners, because you just don't know what will come from it and what you can learn.

Yaz:

Yeah, true, so interesting so now that you have like standards not not, that came out so wrong, that came out so wrong, that came out so wrong, I meant boundaries now that you have, oh, let's just, let's just ask from the paper, let's ask on the paper what's on the? Paper. That came out really bad and I'm really sorry they dropped for one moment, now that you're fiercely guarding off your boundaries yes, I meant the boundaries that you like are going in with boundaries, and then they're like how are you upholding the boundary?

Maria:

well, the thing is, I think it's quite early. So this whole 50 50 thing, yeah, a lot of people said like, oh, why is it such a problem? And I saw so many people comment like 50, 50 is not just money, 50, 50 is time, 50, 50 is affection, like it's generosity in every aspect. And so I feel like with homeboy from the show, I immediately knew that like I could see, oh, this might not be like what I want it to be. So I think, with the whole boundary thing, I'm so even though watching the show you probably won't get it but like I'm very fierce with my boundaries already. Like it doesn't matter if it's a man, a job, a friendship, family, like if you are not fitting into my life and if you are only like bringing negativity, like I just have no space for you. I'm such a big believer of you have one life. Like, why are you wasting with people that don't make you feel good?

Ilmz:

I think, like with a lot of women, they're a bit scared of leaving something that they've put so much work into and with you you've got the element of like the public seeing all this. How were you like so true to yourself? Because that's scary you know what.

Maria:

I don't know if this is like good advice or anything, but in all honesty, I don't care. Like I don't care about other people's opinions of me. I don't care about your opinion on my life and how I choose to live it like I'm always gonna choose me. Like it's like negative, like narcissistic or like selfish that might sound, I'm always gonna put me first. My worst fear is getting to the end of my life and looking back and be like what the hell did I do? There was an element of like being fearful of what people might think, but I think that just goes hand in hand and going on a huge show. But in terms of like it actually affecting me, like anyone opinion anyone's opinion of how I live my life, that isn't my close friend or family, I don't care that's such a nice way of looking.

Ilmz:

Yeah, so basically like don't be fearful for other people's opinion. Be fearful for the fact that you're.

Maria:

You might be living the wrong life that you're gonna be like oh, but this person said this on under my instagram comment and and this person said this on tiktok and this person made a whole youtube video about it and they're not going to bed in your bed. They're not like waking up and living your life. Who gives a damn?

Maria:

that's such a nice way of looking at it and such a good way of looking at it, but it's actually hard to do and that's where that's why sometimes, when I give advice, I'm like my advice is so tailored to like the people that already don't give a damn, and so it's like, how do I then translate that to the people that do give a damn and they are nervous and they ask it and they can't like Jasmine, for example bless her, like she does take comments to heart and like she does focus on it, and I have to tell her all the time like you are happy and in love and married, with a baby on the way, why would you waste a second of your day thinking about these random trolls on the internet?

Ilmz:

I can't imagine her having trolls.

Maria:

Sorry, that breaks my heart internet in general is just a wild place, like once you are really opened up to it, like the people on there. Some of the stuff they say and like wish upon I'm the type of person that I'm like lol, you're a weirdo the only time I comment on somebody's stuff which is very rarely if it isn't a friend is like a nice thing.

Yaz:

Yeah, yeah, same. Like I would never think of.

Maria:

Like seeing someone's I don't know outfit and being like you look disgusting, it's wild, like I have had like quite a few trolls and to me I'm just like no one would ever bother me this much, like even if I did see something, I was like that outfit is vile. That's staying in my head and like that is the second for like. That's an internal thought, yeah, like it's an internal thought for all of one second, and then I carry on scrolling Like the psychology of actually typing it up. Wild.

Ilmz:

Then clicking send.

Yaz:

And feeling good about it, like I'm tired of of putting them down.

Maria:

I don't understand why that just sounds sadistic right now yeah, like sat there like wishing hate on people, like saying something, like hoping they can see it and feeling bad about themselves.

Ilmz:

Like you literally need to be checked in the hate you've received is crazy to me, because that kind of just shows like what it's like being a woman in the patriarchy having standards you'd be shocked at how many women come for me like it's insane, and I'm like that is always under my comments saying things and again I'm like, if you want him, go go get him to them.

Maria:

I think they kind of face their reality because they're like, oh, like, this is what I've settled for a hundred percent what it is, and I didn't want to say it, but it was always the people that was like just because you weren't confident or like sure of yourself enough to be like I'm not gonna have that, don't come at me, because I am like that's something you've got to work on within yourself. Don't come say to me I can't believe you want this in this day and age.

Yaz:

I'm like get out please let's be honest, like most would. It's just that they wouldn't say it on the camera, probably of like being on the air, because they wouldn't want to look.

Ilmz:

They see people want it same with like men that I hate on gold diggers. It's like, babe, like you want a yacht with like 10 bitches on it, and it's always the men with no gold, like it's always because men with actual money they don't give a damn.

Maria:

No, they don't, they don't they don't talk about it. They don't talk about women trying to take it from them. It's always the ones that you know no offense, don't have gold that I want to be like.

Yaz:

I don't want a gold digger yeah, or they're like oh, she's after, after me for that. No, it's like?

Ilmz:

what money, babe? Where's the gold? There's an overdraft statement, babe. Are you living there? Why are you in your overdraft? You want to?

Maria:

talk about money as well, babe I don't understand how they are comfortable to say this stuff. I saw this funny t funny TikTok of this girl and she's like gold diggers are not the ones that want you to pay for a meal every now and then or buy them a nice treat. She was like gold diggers are the ones that want land and diamonds. And she's like and I would know because I'm a gold digger. And I was like, thank you. I was like most women are like yeah, can you pay for the first couple of dates? Like can you court me? Can you be a gentleman?

Ilmz:

Now I'm, you be a gentleman, now I'm a gold digger god forbid, I'm a gold digger because I want some steak and fries do you know what I mean.

Maria:

Like you want me and I can't even eat how do I get the energy to come see you if you're not feeding me?

Maria:

like make it make sense funniest thing that I've never met more feminist men since the show has come out, because now every man is a feminist man when it comes to the 50 50 and I'm like you've only ever spoken about it. When it comes to money, never heard you talk about the pay gap or how women are overworked and underpaid, or how women are supposed to be mothers and work. But all of a sudden you're the top-notch feminist when it says can you pay for a meal?

Ilmz:

get out, just say you're broke and go away men pick and choose the small cracks of feminism that benefits them.

Maria:

They are not true and it always comes to money for some reason, always always men want to be bitches, so bad there's this weird thing now where it's like right, you can get like a protector provider, but he's not going to be emotional. Or you can get the emotional stuff, but he's not the protect like they've like tried to trick women and be like which one do you want? And it's like both protect a provider, emotionally available, like good men are still like they're out there. You don't have to pick one or the other. No, I know enough men that actually do both, so it's fine yeah, just be better.

Ilmz:

It's so easy to just step it up exactly, it is so stressful.

Yaz:

But men want an easy life, but then they don't realize this is making it harder it would be easier for you if you just did that, because then the girl's going to be like I think you're amazing and do everything for you and want to do everything for you.

Maria:

Exactly this is what men don't get Like. When you're there for your woman, like in every way possible, like your life is like a walk in the park, like the more masculine you are, I promise you, the more feminine she's going to be and it's like the best, can't let a woman sit in her masculine energy and then be like why you like that?

Yaz:

because you're not, so I have to be honestly, people are making everything too hard and stressful for no reason like also, if you want to be together and it's good, like it should just be easy, and it should just be like you want the best for each other and then also together. It doesn't have to be this like you give. So I'm gonna give even less tit for tat?

Maria:

yeah, for sure. I feel like the world we live in these days is crazy, like I think we've come to a place where everyone's waiting for the next best thing yeah all the time.

Maria:

Yeah, this cute girl's messaging on Instagram. What if? Not even hot girl messaging me on Instagram? This guy's picked me up, but what if an even better guy picks me up? Like it's a really weird place where everyone's become extremely disposable. That's why, when, from both sides, when one person does the slightest thing that you're like, oh, you're out because you're like well, there might be someone better coming on the horizon, and no one's like the concrete anymore with each other that's terrifying.

Maria:

So true though like so true, but it's so sad how many people do you see like in relationships where they're still hearting your stories and they're still reacting to your stories and it's like they're still like they're always leaving it open? Do you know what I mean? Just in case because something better might come along?

Maria:

oh I hate everyone. I know there's gonna be people like, oh for someone who hasn't dated that much and had one serious relationship. How do you know? And it's like you spent enough time around so many relationships that you've like picked and taken everything from each one. And now it's like created this whole thing in my head where I'm like I know exactly what I do want and don't want, because I've seen so much around me that has shown me which path I want to go down, just in case any trolls are gonna be like oh, they'll always have something.

Ilmz:

They'll always we'll protect you I'll fight them.

Yaz:

So you've gone on lover's blind and you've basically created this fantasy of like you're meeting your husband. And when you didn't find that, how did you cope with breaking up with, like the idea, even in like the future you saw?

Maria:

that's such a good way that you worded it as well, breaking up with the idea. That is for anyone that's watched the wedding episode. I was so incredibly emotional that day and like I said nothing to do with him saying no, we both knew it was going to be a no. If he'd asked me first it would have been a no, but that is such a good way to break it down. I broke up with the idea that I was coming in here to get married and now I'm leaving, not married, with a guy that we both know it's not going to last, we're not suitable, we're not compatible, and that was like that put me on the floor for a for a lot. That put me on the floor because, again, the whole added element of like I am a Muslim and I am Moroccan, and I kind of felt like I'd shamed myself and my family because I just felt like you should. You know, this is very outside of the box for a Muslim and you haven't done what you were supposed to do like you failed.

Maria:

You were supposed to come in here and get married and you're not. And now you've just opened it up, yourself and your family to this, like a whole new world that they didn't really sign up for. You didn't?

Yaz:

make a mistake, but you would have been feeling like that fact. And then you have another element of you have. Not only you feel like you've made a mistake, you have another element of you have. Not only you feel like you've made a mistake, you have the other element of like there's eyes on you now.

Maria:

Yeah, exactly 100%. And that's what I literally came out and I felt like I'd failed and like even during filming, like Jasmine said, like she was like I could see the decline in you. She's like once we got back to London and like we were in the apartment stage was like four weeks, like when we got back to London. She's like your decline in like this happy outgoing like blah blah to just like sad and depressed because I was like this is not what I came here for.

Maria:

Yeah, I wanted to get married, but the element of more like it just didn't even cross my mind that not getting married was an option, and I think for me as well, because I'd gone in there thinking you know what you want and you're gonna get it. It also is another element of maybe you don't know what you want that much because you didn't get it, so maybe you need to then go back out and really like analyze what you want. So at the time it was really hard and definitely the hardest part, like I said when I came out of love is blind. I was like a good couple of months like what the hell have I done? Why did I? I do it Like regretted it so much.

Ilmz:

On the lead up to the show, were you like I don't want this out?

Maria:

I was scared for the edit, that's for sure. All of us were bricking it about the edit. You don't know what, what character they want you to play. You know what I mean and they can definitely create the character for you. So I was nervous nervous in that aspect. I also was like I felt, felt icky. I didn't want to. I'm. Once my like feelings and stuff are done, I can detach immediately, like I'm close the door. Good, so when I was like we're gonna have to watch back me and him and it's gonna make me feel sick, like no offense, but because the feelings are gone, like there's nothing there anymore and you're not who I thought you were, and so I've just detached so much a whole year. I completely have zero connection to you or this process we went through I'll be honest with you a lot of mine. In his parts I skipped through like as long as I watched myself a lot, but like me and him, I was like ugh, I can't watch this.

Ilmz:

Well, I confirmed they were painful to watch. Oh stop, that's what I mean. I could have easily had a stroke If I was watching this as a 50-year-old.

Maria:

I would have had a stroke. You're just as dramatic as me and I live for it.

Yaz:

Are you ready to find love? Do you think now, like, do you think you've dealt with like everything that that would have come with and like how do you know? People are going to be like authentic now because judge of character, because they're gonna be like what the hell? Look at the guy.

Maria:

You ended up with, but I'm like, no, there's a whole wall there. It's different. But like I also don't attract that type of person, like I don't attract cloudy people, I'm the type of man I would love to be with. As someone who like cringes at reality tv, like someone who's like, yes, do you know what I mean? So I'm never going to attract the man that's like, oh, she'd be on reality tv, like what can we get from this? That's net like because I'd clock it straight away and like we just wouldn't vibe. I'm not like nervous about that element of things. What was the other part? Sorry, I don't remember my other part. Am I ready to find love? Yeah, I am 100% ready to find love, if it's right, of course. I genuinely.

Maria:

I've been like this since I was young and I've got to give props to my big sister because she's a hundred percent like the reason I am the way I am. Like in my twenties she was like don't dare get in a relationship. Like your twenties are for you, like make sure, like you focus on you and like even now I'm 31. She's like who cares? It's just a man Like. She's like de-centered men. She's got the perfect thing going on, but her life doesn't revolve around.

Maria:

My sister has never centered men a day in her life and I think that's when she met her husband. Like they met when they were 34 oh my god, that gives me immediately. Both of them were like this is the one for me engaged within a year, married within the next year, kid. Like they are the healthiest example of love I've ever been like, fortunate enough to see so. When I look at them two, I'm like, unless it's that I don't want it. So for me, I'm like time is not an issue. Like I don't care if I'm 39 and I meet him, as long as it's him, yeah, you know what.

Maria:

I mean.

Ilmz:

So I'm absolutely ready for love, but only if it's the right love honestly, like the stats that you just gave out, makes me feel like, okay, I have so much time you do like I'm divorced 30. Like I thought my life was over at 27 when the divorce happened.

Maria:

Now I'm like actually no just begun, just begun because for me, once I hit like 28 29, that's when I started to like me and love me and like, know who I am and felt confident. Up to 28, I was so insecure I didn't know what I wanted, who I was, any of it. So when people were like you should be settled by now I'm like brother, I have only come into who I am Like and now I can go and find the best for me, like for me, life started after like 28, 29. I agree best for me. Like for me, life started after like 28 29. I agree. So I'm only a baby, still like. I'm 31. You're like a two-year-old toddler. My new life has just started. People that say, oh, you need to be settled by 30, please don't listen to them oh hell, no, they're like this high school love thing, not everyone, no, but I know there are definitely childhood sweethearts but like that's great.

Maria:

But I do think that's the exception to the broadway. When you're like we've been together 17 years and I'm like, have you loved each other for all of those 17 years? Like, did you guys have like hormones and stuff? Yeah, and like I trust me, I know there are childhood sweethearts out there. I know couples like that. But it doesn't matter if you're 20 and with the love of your life or you meet him at 30, like it just doesn't matter.

Ilmz:

40, it just doesn't matter let's play a game of this or that bare minimum, but consistent.

Maria:

Or big gestures, but with no follow-through bare minimum but consistent, which I literally despise having to say but when we say big gestures, do you like? When I think, think of big gestures, I think like of you being like babe, can you be a bit more considerate? And like consistently having to say that and then he's never following through. So he's saying like he buys you big gifts but then doesn't follow through with action, like on the other things. Exactly, yeah, you're buying me roses and cars and whatever else, but I'm constantly have to talk about the same thing that you're not doing.

Maria:

No, saying I love you too early, or waiting to say when the time is right waiting to say when the time is right, because I feel like the time is right is when you feel it. Yeah, and there's a big difference between love ya to I'm in love with you. So like I say love you to everyone. I said it to homeboy in the show, like don't care but, so like don't care. But it's so different to saying I'm in love with you walking away quietly or calling it out before you leave.

Maria:

I'm not a crash out queen, I have to say, but never, ever walking away quietly.

Ilmz:

Sorry, Absolutely not.

Maria:

Never Like. It won't do you any good. Like I said, the whole bigger person Like for who?

Ilmz:

For them, fuck. No, make it comfortable for them, no Like what if he's cheating?

Maria:

Like I said, if he's cheated on you numerous times or like disrespected you, what are you gaining from walking away quietly? No, call him out on his shit. Crash out yeah. Crash out, not crash out. Sorry, I'm like crash out, destroy his car, no, but Slash a tire, but don't get caught doing it.

Yaz:

Yeah, okay, last one from from day one, or red flag that you hope that you can like fix a green flag?

Maria:

yeah, for sure, the red flags that are there at the beginning of the reason you break up in the end. Why would you want to fix someone like that? No offense like especially at ra.

Ilmz:

Oh my god, I don't have time to fix someone. No, I don't have time like come as you are, in your best form, or do not come to me.

Maria:

Yeah like I don't mind, like little things we have, like communication, you can work on communication styles, yeah, or like consideration. You can work on those things, but if it's like that is who he is, to the core of him, he's selfish, he's narcissistic, he can be like verbally abusive like when you talking about my ex oh, maria, it's been the best having you on so much fun just one more question what's one piece of advice you'd like to leave to our listeners about walking away and maintaining your boundaries?

Maria:

one thing I would love to say for especially the maintaining your boundaries and I know it's gonna sound really cliche, but if you had a daughter, would you want her to put up with the same stuff, like if she was coming home to you and telling you everything that your partner is currently doing to you? Someone is doing to her. What would you tell her to do and how would that make you feel? It's giving me shivers. Good way to like really put on the outside what someone is doing to you, like kept thinking about someone you care and love so much and hearing them. But like he does this, that and the other. You're gonna say to her stick around. Yeah, maybe next time, babe. Oh, maybe you can fix it.

Maria:

So would you want your daughter to have the same boundaries as you is a really good one. When it comes to the boundaries, walking away again, I know it sounds so cliche, but like there is a light at the end of the tunnel and when you're on your deathbed, sorry, and you're looking back at your life, are you gonna say I'm so glad I stuck it out for that year of shit, even though we still ended, or am I glad I walked away? And yeah, it was hard, but look at what I found that was inspirational and that is facts thanks guys, 100% Maria, you've been amazing.

People on this episode

Head Shot

Ilma Shahrene

Co-host
Head Shot

Yasmin Misner

Co-host
Head Shot

Maria Benkharmaz

Guest